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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Vibrators on sale at Tesco, thought it was a bit much

734 replies

JustBrowsingTheWeb · 27/10/2024 17:10

Went to buy some toothpaste with my kids, 7 year old wants to see new toy in plastic boxes, it’s rows and rows of vibrators. Is it just me or is this a bit much for the weekly shop?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
YankSplaining · 28/10/2024 18:09

Last time I was in the UK, there was a controversy over the prominence of FCUK products in shops. Now you’ve got vibrators in supermarkets?

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 18:13

Magnastorm · 28/10/2024 18:06

Aww, look at the little love-in this thread has turned into, of people unable to accept opinions other than their own.

Bless.

What exactly is your problem?

You were doing this with people pages back. Piling on the people disagreeing with you with some ridiculous ideas. Do you just not like it when the numbers are the other way around?

Grow up.

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 18:13

YankSplaining · 28/10/2024 18:09

Last time I was in the UK, there was a controversy over the prominence of FCUK products in shops. Now you’ve got vibrators in supermarkets?

Oh it's all gone to shit here mate 😂

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 18:18

Yes @valentinka31 reading through the thread was infuriating, the amount of posters deliberately missing the point and using their made up conclusions as a stick to beat dissenters with was something else. I applaud you and the others for sticking to your guns. I actually just returned to the site and it didn't take long before I was reminded of why I left last time 😅

"It's the assertion that contraceptives and dildos are the same that finished me off. Utterly ridiculous." @BalletCat I think peak thread for me was the point where a poster made the comparison with....baby clothes. What on earth 😁 I honestly don't think this place is real anymore, it's so detached from reality.

tigger1001 · 28/10/2024 18:27

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 17:46

Im starting to think some government organisation has secretly bought MN and are running social experiments on us to see what we will accept if we are bombarded with enough social pressure. There's no way this thread is real 😅 I don't believe that real people actually find this acceptable. The majority of people would not be mocking others for having an issue with this.
This site is unreal.

Supermarkets would only sell them if there was a market for them. And given it's not a brand new thing in them, I think that they must be selling. Otherwise the shelf space would be used for other things.

Its not where I would choose to buy a sex toy, but I suspect others do.

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 18:28

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 18:18

Yes @valentinka31 reading through the thread was infuriating, the amount of posters deliberately missing the point and using their made up conclusions as a stick to beat dissenters with was something else. I applaud you and the others for sticking to your guns. I actually just returned to the site and it didn't take long before I was reminded of why I left last time 😅

"It's the assertion that contraceptives and dildos are the same that finished me off. Utterly ridiculous." @BalletCat I think peak thread for me was the point where a poster made the comparison with....baby clothes. What on earth 😁 I honestly don't think this place is real anymore, it's so detached from reality.

The baby clothes was a highlight for me too 😂

The claim that sex toys and the products of sex (children) being visible in public is the same thing 😂

Mrsknowitall · 28/10/2024 18:48

Procrastinates · 27/10/2024 20:33

I find it hard to take you seriously if this is the hypothetical conversation you'd have if a child asked you what they were... This nonsense would be much more damaging than learning Tesco sells sex toys. Hmm

I was being sarcastic to someone who said that it should be normalised. I absolutely would never speak so brutally to my children 🤦‍♀️

MartinCrieffsLemon · 28/10/2024 18:55

valentinka31 · 28/10/2024 12:18

haha please quote me where I shame women for using vibrators/having sexual pleasure/having orgasms. I'd love to see that. Because if you read what I've actually said, I haven't said anything like that.

You may not think you have but it's all there
Including "people might think vibrators are good" which implies they are actually bad or by suggesting women will become addicted to mechanical means or implying fingers are best

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 18:57

"Supermarkets would only sell them if there was a market for them. And given it's not a brand new thing in them, I think that they must be selling. Otherwise the shelf space would be used for other things.

It's not where I would choose to buy a sex toy, but I suspect others do."

I understand that, but I don't think that we should be looking to what large companies do before we decide what is morally acceptable. In the society that we have, these businesses aren't going to be asking "should we sell this" they are going to be asking themselves "can we get away with selling that".
Their concern is making money. There is a market for lots of things that aren't suitable for supermarket shelves.

Also I don't think that the fact they've been selling them for a while is an argument that will change my mind. To me it's just proof that the "slippery slope" is effective in slowly degrading our standards.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 28/10/2024 18:59

And honestly some posters are acting like these are on display with graphic images of sex, marketed next to the Cuddly toys and Lego

And not what they actually are, which is fairly discreetly packaged items placed next to paracetamol, ibuprofen and other medicines which aren't for children

tigger1001 · 28/10/2024 19:01

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 18:57

"Supermarkets would only sell them if there was a market for them. And given it's not a brand new thing in them, I think that they must be selling. Otherwise the shelf space would be used for other things.

It's not where I would choose to buy a sex toy, but I suspect others do."

I understand that, but I don't think that we should be looking to what large companies do before we decide what is morally acceptable. In the society that we have, these businesses aren't going to be asking "should we sell this" they are going to be asking themselves "can we get away with selling that".
Their concern is making money. There is a market for lots of things that aren't suitable for supermarket shelves.

Also I don't think that the fact they've been selling them for a while is an argument that will change my mind. To me it's just proof that the "slippery slope" is effective in slowly degrading our standards.

And that's a perfectly acceptable attitude for you to hold.

But as they are selling, others clearly disagree with you. And their view as to what morals society should hold is equally as valid.

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 19:01

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 18:57

"Supermarkets would only sell them if there was a market for them. And given it's not a brand new thing in them, I think that they must be selling. Otherwise the shelf space would be used for other things.

It's not where I would choose to buy a sex toy, but I suspect others do."

I understand that, but I don't think that we should be looking to what large companies do before we decide what is morally acceptable. In the society that we have, these businesses aren't going to be asking "should we sell this" they are going to be asking themselves "can we get away with selling that".
Their concern is making money. There is a market for lots of things that aren't suitable for supermarket shelves.

Also I don't think that the fact they've been selling them for a while is an argument that will change my mind. To me it's just proof that the "slippery slope" is effective in slowly degrading our standards.

Sorry @tigger1001 I forgot to tag you in my response.

suburburban · 28/10/2024 19:05

Maybe I'm prudish but would you not be embarrassed having a Tesco home delivery where they have plastic boxes and the driver who is usually a male draws up at your house etc

izimbra · 28/10/2024 19:06

Doliveira · 27/10/2024 17:20

I agree, it’s definitely disappointing that there is no discretion and that nothing is personal. Adds to the jaded quality of modern life.
horrible and mundane.

I definitely think an element of shame and secrecy is quite.... sexy, these days.

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 19:09

MartinCrieffsLemon · 28/10/2024 18:59

And honestly some posters are acting like these are on display with graphic images of sex, marketed next to the Cuddly toys and Lego

And not what they actually are, which is fairly discreetly packaged items placed next to paracetamol, ibuprofen and other medicines which aren't for children

The example pictures posted here of the boxes of toys on sale are nowhere near discrete.

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 19:12

I don't doubt that they sell @tigger1001 but like I said, there is a market for all sorts of things that aren't suitable for being sold in supermarkets.
It's not really a matter of whose values and morals are more valid, but the degradation of social decency (and this is just one small part of that) has an effect on all of us whereas those of us who don't believe sex toys should be on supermarket shelves aren't inhibiting the people who want to purchase these things and they're available in other places and have been for a very long time.

Completelyjo · 28/10/2024 19:14

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 19:09

The example pictures posted here of the boxes of toys on sale are nowhere near discrete.

Not discreet in what way? I’ve not seen anyone link anything in graphic packaging of any sort.

Missmarple87 · 28/10/2024 19:18

izimbra · 28/10/2024 19:06

I definitely think an element of shame and secrecy is quite.... sexy, these days.

Edited

Absolutely!

The weird obsession of half of Mumsnet with not 'kink shaming'. It's hardly a 'kink' if you tell everyone about it. There's a real trend for using one's sexual proclivities as a substitute for a personality.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 28/10/2024 19:19

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 19:09

The example pictures posted here of the boxes of toys on sale are nowhere near discrete.

Some photos are not the items on sale in Tesco

Mostly blue/orange/pink boxes with a simple line drawing on aren't exactly obvious

TheNicelyDone · 28/10/2024 19:24

"The example pictures posted here of the boxes of toys on sale are nowhere near discrete."

They are also not in discrete areas of the supermarket either @BalletCat
Other posters keep referring to "the condom aisle". "Why are you lingering in the condom aisle?" Etc but this isn't the reality. Eg my Tesco has condoms in the aisle with paracetamol, cough sweets and calpol etc along with toothpaste/brushes, mouthwash, handwash and bubble bath.
No one is deliberately "lingering" around the condoms with their kids but there's no reason why sex toys should be opposite the Colgate.

Reserved101 · 28/10/2024 19:26

What I do find a bit OTT about this thread is that, so far as I can tell (and I could be wrong) everyone does seem to think there is a line, somewhere, as to what sorts of sex toys (if any) should be on display in a supermarket. For some, the line is "sex toys shouldn't be displayed at all", for others it's "vibrators are okay if they don't look like penises" and for some it's "vibrators, butt plugs, cock rings and 'milder' items are okay, but not S&M stuff".

I don't think any of those viewpoints, or others inbetween them, are plainly and obviously unreasonable to the point that they deserve derision.

I do think there's a lot of misrepresenting of poster's positions, too. Obviously we saw a lot of that with regards to @MartinCrieffsLemon , who was unduly smeared as some sort of sex offender, but I think it applies to @valentinka31 too.

As with when I stood up for the former, I don't agree with the latter's view either, but I do feel as though they are being persistently and grossly misrepresented. They are saying, so far as I can tell, that they are concerned that the presence of vibrators on store shelves may cause girls to think they are an expected part of sex, which might cause some girls who would prefer not to use them (or have them used on them) to feel pressured. She isn't saying that women shouldn't use them but is worried that normalization (by being on the shelves of everyday stores) = expectation.

Again, I don't agree with that particular concern but if people want to voice objection to it, there are reasonable responses to it. It is not reasonable, in my view, to characterize her as being against women having orgasms or that they should not use vibrators.

A separate and largely unrelated point to the above, a lot of posters are airing the view "if you don't want your child to see the sex toys, don't take them down that aisle - or, if they ask, give them an age-apporpriate explanation - even that 'it's for adults'".

That works if you're there with your child but Tesco and other supermarkets are places that children (say tweenage or older) may well go to without parental supervision on occasion. Maybe with a group of friends. Personally, I'm not sure that its ideal for children to be introduced to the concept of, for example, sticking things up yours or others' butt's, for fun, outside of a sex ed class or similar setting.

If that means that we need to have more fulsome sex education at earlier ages, I'm not against that, and obviously the presence of sex toys in supermarkets is faaaaar from the only way society exposes children to sexual concepts that are beyond their years, but I do think there's a fair argument that it represents another example of children being potentially exposed to sex (and in some cases, kink) at younger ages than was once the norm, and possibly before they have relevant and important contextual knowledge.

valentinka31 · 28/10/2024 19:39

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 17:57

Finally! The adults with critical thinking and debating skills are here!

It's the assertion that contraceptives and dildos are the same that finished me off. Utterly ridiculous. They were still going with that one 10 pages later. 🙄

No one genuinely believes a condom is the male equivalent of a vibrator and people are only offended by vibratios in shops because they are a symbol of women's pleasure and it's a sexist society that thinks women aren't allowed orgasms. No one.

Edited

hahah yes you are right, really NO ONE thinks that and yet as you say there are now 27 pages about how I do! : D

blimey if they only knew who I am. I literally coach guys to have orgasms. But that's another story oh no what will happen to me now 🙈 Maybe I will be offered one of those pop-up stands in Tescos?

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 19:41

This is not discrete. It also offers a demonstration if you scan the QR code which debunks the "it's not like demonstrations are being given in the aisle" argument.

Vibrators on sale at Tesco, thought it was a bit much
MartinCrieffsLemon · 28/10/2024 19:45

BalletCat · 28/10/2024 19:41

This is not discrete. It also offers a demonstration if you scan the QR code which debunks the "it's not like demonstrations are being given in the aisle" argument.

Ahh yes and all the kids are pulling their phones out to scan random QR codes...

Otherwise, it is quite discreet. A quick glance doesn't scream "sex toy" and the picture is the same colours as the background, making it blend