Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

[Goldengirl123]

We have just got back from holiday and every night in restaurants. children of all ages were either looking at their phones or iPads the whole time. What’s happened to families sitting and having a conversation at meals times? I personally think it’s so wrong but maybe I am just being old fashioned

That’s totally different

The OP has said several times that’s not what she is referring to.
It’d be virtually impossible that every child you see that’s stuck in front of a screen has SEN seeing as it’s so ubiquitous

And we're not talking about ND kids here, that's not the point of this thread...

But parents of ND children are included in the judgement, because generally the children don't have their diagnosis stapled to their foreheads for all to see.

We know we are judged. And sometime it hurts. This thread is very much about this.

would it be acceptable for the children to read at the table? not so long ago that would have been criticised too. oh these children reading at the table away in their own world ignoring everyone

I really couldn't care less. Spend your time enjoying your meal rather than judging other people.

I take books and stickers and other entertainment out with us for my toddler but sometimes she still gets bored waiting for food and I'll resort to YouTube. Sue me. People didn't used to do it because these things weren't readily available. And I won't stop enjoying meals in family friendly restaurants.

If you want to judge me as a lazy, useless parent crack on. It says more about you than me. All I'm trying to do is keep my child quiet so other people aren't disturbed.

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/children-virtual-autism/

I am a parent of an ND child.

And no, I do not let him sit on a tablet at the meal table or in a restaurant. I use other methods to keep him entertained. He's fine with that. I know his limits.

And if he couldn't manage to sit at a table without a screen to keep him quiet, then clearly being in a restaurant would not be in his best interests and I'd choose an activity/eating establishment more suited to him.

ND children have been around far longer than tablets and phones.

You can’t say that someone isn’t a decent parent because they use screens. On occasion my children will have an iPad if we are at dinner because it’s unreasonable to expect a 3 year old to sit through a two hour dinner because quite honestly it’s boring for them and equally sometimes parents just need a break. That dinner could be the only time all day/week that child has been given a tablet but it’s ok for adults to need a break too. There could also be lots of other factors like SEN needs with the children or even the parent.

people need to work on being more supportive and less judgy of how other people parent

As special needs are often invisible, how do you know you are not refering to "special needs children"? (Bloody awful turn of phrase you used there)

It's not just the kids it's the parents too.
I was in the opticians the other day, people sat waiting with their heads in their phones.
Why don't they engage with what's going on around them?

I'd 100% rather see this than see kids running riot in a restaurant or anywhere public indoors That is intended to be a sitting down area serving food and drinks. Firstly it's dangerous for everyone and secondly people going out for a quiet drink/meal do not wish to be disturbed by noisy and unruly children. Sometimes my DD (7) uses an iPad for a while to play a silent colouring game, sometimes we chat and point out stuff. Either way it's not annoying or disturbing anyone else and we're all happy.

Read the thread. There is a middle ground between iPad and running around a restaurant that many parents seem to be able to achieve

As I said we do either or both. That to me is middle ground, no? I don't see the issue. 🤷

I don't use screens at restaurants but we get so much grief from people when we take DC out. My DC will sit and colour and then want to tell us the story of their characters they've just coloured in. My DC talk quite loudly due to hearing issues and we remind them to talk a bit quieter but most meals we will have someone (it's always a man) either make rude comments about them which are made loudly so we can hear, shake their head regularly at me (never my dh) or come over and complain. These aren't high end establishments either, they are standard chain restaurants like Pizza Express.

I can understand why people resort to screens, not to placate their DC but to placate the adults!

But what is wrong in your opinion with doing something that’s not 100 % in the best interests of your kids every now and then? Our lives revolve our children (quite rightly) our 3yo enjoys engaging activities all day every day, why can’t I (or anyone else) have a meal while our kid quietly watches a screen occasionally? The screen isn’t making him unhappy or upset, his behaviour doesn’t deteriorate, he doesn’t demand to watch it all the time and it’s occasional. What’s wrong with that? That’s a genuine question by the way.

I couldn't care less as long as they're playing on silent or have headphones. If it gives parents a chance to eat a meal or have a drink and chat to their friends or partner, go for it.

My kiss are tweens/teenagers so use their phones...they have perfect table manners.

i used to always have a book with me. My mum carried a spare in case i finished it and got bored.

That's great for you and your child. Mine enjoys eating out, but finds aspects of the environment difficult. Screens have given him a tool to help regulate himself - in the past, he just wouldn't have been able access a restaurant, let alone enjoy it.

The paediatrican who diagnosed my son (at age 2) advised us not to let our world get too small. I won't apologise for using tools available in the the modern world to achieve this.

what are you on about?
I used to read (magazines, newspapers, books) now i read what's on my phone (usually news, sometimes socials) or my kindle.

Where are these opticians where people were engaging in 18th century coffee house style discussions?

Very well said. Some people simply don't like kids. Fine. But parents also have a right to take kids out for a meal if we want to do so.

I've had the riot act read to me by a regular at our local, CHILD FRIENDLY pub, which welcomes little kids and big kids alike. I was told pubs aren't for kids. Someone should have told my parents this when they regularly took me into their local to meet up with friends or my grandparents!

Essentially it's nowt to do with other people. Obviously different if the parents were getting blotto and ignoring the kids, but that's a whole new issue.

Talk to people. You can talk to people around you.
You see it everywhere heads down.

Well let’s hope you don’t get humbled

20 years ago people were sat reading magazines. Now it's a phone. What's the difference? I swear people have completely forgotten what things were actually like.

Please don’t strike conversation with me if you bump into me at the opticians or anywhere else. What a rando

It's a balance isn't it! It my child has not had any screen time all day because he has been in the pool playing and exercising all day then I'm happy for him to have it for a short period of time. But I do agree I think screens are often used too much. Last holiday I went on a child who was not yet walking was given a tablet for every meal time and then when sitting in the bar afterwards and anytime she was put in the pushchair.

I find it hard to balance, my niece is neurodiverse so they use tablets to keep her regulated during meal times so then my son asks why he can't have his (when out for a meal with them) then you would look at our table and see 2 kids both sat on their tablets. Although I'm lucky my son isnt too bothered and mostly choose to play with his travel Lego sets instead when we are in a pub.