Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

[Goldengirl123]

We have just got back from holiday and every night in restaurants. children of all ages were either looking at their phones or iPads the whole time. What’s happened to families sitting and having a conversation at meals times? I personally think it’s so wrong but maybe I am just being old fashioned

Complaints if kids are on tablets....
Complaints if they're noisy....
Complaints if they're running around...
Complaints if they're singing...
Complaints if they're talking too loud....
Complaints if they're crying...
Parents can't win, whatever they do!

YABU. Do you have young children?

We never allow the children devices at the table at home, or when we go out for a meal in the UK. But when we are on holiday it’s very different - we are suddenly expecting the children to eat out 2 or 3 times a day for 1-2 weeks. It’s a lot to ask of them. They are tired and cranky after a busy day swimming and playing and sightseeing. Their routine is all over the place. So yes, sometimes we resort to sticking a tablet on for our youngest (age 2) as it is the only way DH and I will get a chance to eat our own food.

My eldest, age 6, has exemplary table manners. Better than many adults. We are often complimented on them when we are out. So no, I don’t think we are causing any long - term harm.

You are seeing a snap-shot of a family during one moment on holiday. You can’t extrapolate from that how they might be managing things all the rest of the time.

Also - how do you know if the child has special needs? You can’t generally tell from a glance. I think you need to stop being so judgemental of people you know nothing about and concentrate on your own behaviour.

@Errors

Kids behave differently at different ages. I wasn't alluding to running around a restaurant (that's an extreme example.) Instead, if kids are eg colouring they might exclaim when they're happy they've finished it, or if they drop a crayon or whatever. Some people don't like that. My children know how to behave in restaurants but kids rarely sit like statues and speak in whispers.

From the stories I hear, I was the annoying(according to many people) kid , running around the place, befriending other kids (including kids that didn't speak the same language) and then all of us running around/playing together .

There'd be a hundred threads about that too.

This really is the crux of this thread (and all others that have come before it)

If you don't have a calm but confident child who sits still and engages in meaningful conversation with adults whilst displaying excellent table manners then prepare to be torn to shreds.

You also grew up without internet and yet here you see posting on it? Allow yourself to be bored!

I'm pretty sure if our parents had the option to give us a screen to shut us up and get some quiet time every now and then, they'd have jumped at the chance!

I'm child free and also a fan of minding my own business so I couldn't care less how other parents decide to manage their children in a restaurant setting. Personally quite grateful when kids are occupied by something rather than running around making noise and I can enjoy my meal in peace. I'm sure mum and dad also want 5 minutes to eat their own dinner after looking after their family all day.

Exactly!

Threads like this make me really sad. My son always has a device and headphones. He also has autism and ADHD. I do everything I can to give him as normal a life as possible and it breaks me to read so many posts from other parents, who haven't walked in my shoes, judging me as a lazy shit parent.

we have a 3yo and he doesn’t have devices at the table at home and often doesn’t when we eat out, however, sometimes, I would like to be able to have an adult conversation with my DP over a meal so we let him watch something on a phone either on mute or with headphones on. I’m really very comfortable with that regardless of the comments here. We engage with our LB almost constantly, we explain things to him, we give him new and varied experiences, we are teaching him new things all the time. He’s learning to read and write, he loves numbers and counting. We’ve got him workbooks to help him prepare for school and he sits at a table with us at home and uses a knife and fork. I’m not a lazy parent because I let me kid watch paw patrol while I eat a meal out with my DP occasionally 😂

Dinners out are quite long for children. We arrive and play games/colouring etc… then we have starters and DD has her main. She puts the napkin on her lap, uses her cutlery and is great for meals out. Then the meal is cleared away and she has some fruit for dessert while we eat our mains. She always finishes before us, at which time she’s restless, she’s only 2.5. At that point we give her 20 mins of something so we can finish our meal without any crying or shouting (which would make us leave).

Judge me all you like. I judge you for judging.

But why?
Restaurants have their custom, parents have their meal.
Parents could have hours to talk to their child on that day.
Many people in this thread interpet screens at the table as screens everywhere, but that's not automatically true.

And yes, I understand the difference between downtime during the meal and a family meal out when it is a designated main time to talk and be together. Both is ok.

As a customer when it comes to kids in restaurants, whatever you can do to keep them reasonably quiet and not running around the room, or generally causing a nuisance, i'm fine with.

I'm not really interested in what other people's kids are doing unless they're bothering me.

Well, that’s patently not true is it because it is possible to have kids out in restaurants and for them to do none of these things.

Dont get me wrong, if a kid talks excitedly about the colouring in they are doing or accidentally drops something on the floor, the person judging that is being completely unreasonable.

But it is ENTIRELY possible to not have a kid glued to a screen and also not have a melt down about it.

Most surprising thing on this thread is the number of posters who think the only possible alternative to kids glued to iPads like zombies is them running around, out of control, screaming.

They are trying to justify it because they are defensive about it because they know it’s not great.

I agree that they need to learn to be bored. I can do a two hour car journey with my DC who is 6 and give them nothing to occupy themselves and they manage just fine. Looking out the window, talking to me or choosing the next song we listen to.

Exactly!! There is a middle ground!

Touch victimy

Well the piss off bit explains why you child behaves the way it does. How do you think we managed before screens?

As long as they have headphones on it wouldn't bother me in the slightest

I am not referring to special needs children

Well they can win

You've picked lots of extremes

Many, many children can eat out without doing any of the things on your list

Or the child is neurodivergent and it’s the only way the parents can have a meal out?