Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

[Goldengirl123]

We have just got back from holiday and every night in restaurants. children of all ages were either looking at their phones or iPads the whole time. What’s happened to families sitting and having a conversation at meals times? I personally think it’s so wrong but maybe I am just being old fashioned

My experience is that it's very difficult indeed to find friends who will go out with you and engage with your child as well as yourself, so it's very isolating and damaging for mental health. At least giving your child something to occupy his or her self means you can have some time out and socialising occasionally. I did sometimes take my toddler out to just me and him and had fun engaging with him, but it does get lonely.

Judging other people's parenting just reeks of low emotional intelligence.

Love a nice judgmental thread calling parents lazy/bad for using screens 👍🏼 my son is autistic and restaurants are difficult for him. In the rare event we go to one, he will at some point end up in front of a screen. The horror!

Also, it certainly wasn't normal for children to be taken to restaurants when I was growing up in the 80s. It was just becoming more popular, with family-focused chains like Pizza Hut and motorway service stations more geared towards families, but restaurants tended to be for well off people, not normal families. The UK doesn't have that lovely, laid back culture you see elsewhere, where children are able to play and chat between the tables.

We were away a few days with my husband's brothers family and they allow their child to watch a device at dinner.

We then realised thats why the child couldnt sit at the table when at the grandparents. Forever getting up and leaving, asking people to hurry up and eat cause never learned to sit at the table. Coming back every 5 mins to see if you have finished to play. Not like we were having elaborate courses. More an hour to have main course, dessert and maybe a coffee.

My baby doesnt get tv at the table, my family never did it either. My 15 month old can sit at the table better.

@CynicalSunni come back to me in another years time. 15 months old often will sit happily at the table. A 2.5 yo is a different matter.

Mine took theirs to the centre because it's the only place they get WiFi.

After a day of swimming, climbing, family walks, family games etc, I don't care if they have half an hour while we enjoy a rest. Obviously not when food is out but while they are waiting and afterwards I don't care.

You can do both...

It’s a huge worry and I don’t agree with posters saying it’s none of their business. I think the damage this is doing to society in terms of young people’s development is really starting to show. Parents on screens and not engaging with their children is also having a huge impact. This is going to be a massive problem that it’s ‘everyone’s business’.
Obviously I’m not suggesting confronting parent’s in restaurants but I do wish people would realise how damaging all of this is.

Thrre are way to occupy kids at the table without screens

I don't like it, but I've seen children sat reading books and everyone looks at them, but in a positive way. My dd would sit and read books on her kindle and I used to get a lot of scathing looks and the odd comment.

Yes it's good for children to be able to sit and have a conversation at a dinner table and maybe they do that at home. I would let my dc eat ice cream for breakfast on holiday if they wanted to, but wouldn't dream of doing that at home on a normal day. What I mean to say is each to their own.

Whilst my children have tablets, when we eat out I would NEVER allow them to bring them. I don’t mind them having them at home, but not sat at a table.

God have people got so little going on in their lives they have to constantly judge others?

When I was a young child in the early 90s, pre screens and we hardly ever ever ate out! If we did it would be a museum cafe or Macdonalds. The few times we went out for more formal extended family meals I'm sure my parents were a bit run ragged until we were old enough to sit and colour etc. I'm sure they'd have loved an ipad!

With DS who is three we only usually take him to cafes or wetherspoons at a push. Food arrives quickly so no need for screens.

I've given him a screen with the sound off eating out on holiday though. I'd rather be judged then ruin someone else's dinner. He's too little to do something like colouring for more than 5 mins and any games are likely to be quite noisy. Hoping he won't need this when he's older.

He does have a speech delay and it really upsets me people will think it's our parenting. We interact with him lots and give him lots of targeted support. Perhaps people need to think before they make blanket statements.

It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence when it is so widespread, screens have become a de facto distraction and excuse for a lot of people. The sad reality is screen time for very young children is doing very little for their development and the results of this will reveal themselves in years to come as they grow into screen addicted teens and then young adults.

Screen addicted children are a public health issue on the same level as little children with rotten teeth because of sugary snacks and drinks, the difference is you don’t see the actual damage until it’s too late.

It happens because there isn't space / permisssion for kids to be kids in English-speaking cultures.

There are places in the world where it's considered more acceptable for kids to make a bit of noise. When it's not ok for kids to make noise, parents resort to screens.

No one wants to take the screen off their kid, because they don't want to be "the noisy one" at the venue

We have a 'no screens at the dinner table' rule but what other families do is none of my business as long as the sound is off, each to their own.

Tbh what bothers me more are super loud parents, so keen to show everyone how much fun they're having that they TALK AT FULL VOLUME THE WHOLE TIME, and periodically look around to catch your eye to see if you are impressed with how hilarious and fun their family is....ugh, did not one ever teach them about 'indoor voices' 🙄

What's wrong with colouring/drawing/card games?

Why are the options screaming children, running around or zombies?

As long as the phone/screen is on silent or used with headphones, I couldn't care less about what folk at other tables are doing with it.

This child is 6
In aware that my child is easier to control. But handing a device over isnt the answer

I completely understand if the child has special needs. I’m talking about in general. Members of my own family allow the kids to have screens at meal times. I just don’t get it. I don’t mean to be judgemental but I think it’s really sad

OR

Perhaps the child struggles to sit at the table due to sensory processing/core instability/immaturity/undiagnosed neurodivergence and the parents have discovered that giving them a screen means that they (and wider family) can eat their dinner in peace.

You all don’t have a fucking idea about family’s circumstances. Sometimes even the best parents deserve a break. Take off your judgey pants and mind your own business if the sound is off.

I don’t think it’s great for kids. Their concentration in general, their ability to develop the skills needed around self control in a public place, etc. I feel with 6 and 8 year olds we are still in training for this and go over ‘cafe rules’ each time before we sit down - they still struggle at times so I’d hate to think what they’d be like if we’d never trained them like that.

BUT. I’d never judge other parents doing what they need to to survive, and sometimes you just need some peace. I definitely use too much tv at home to get a break, or get jobs done, and that’s not great for my kids’ concentration or ability to amuse themselves in other ways. We all do the best we can.

The answer would be if my inlaws didn't insist on going to places the food takes ages to arrive when harvester will suit everyone fine

Children on screens in restaurants bothers me far less than the idea that the other diners are silently trying to work out if they're displaying the appropriate levels of autism before deciding whether or not to judge their parents.