Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

[Goldengirl123]

We have just got back from holiday and every night in restaurants. children of all ages were either looking at their phones or iPads the whole time. What’s happened to families sitting and having a conversation at meals times? I personally think it’s so wrong but maybe I am just being old fashioned

I don’t think this is true. Never once had a complaint about my boy in a cafe or restaurant and have never once needed to give him a screen to occupy him either. He has never run around a restaurant, always sat relatively still (when we was younger he would sometimes come and sit on my lap for a while but not while I was eating)
Maybe I just got lucky with him.

concentrate on your own meal/family and stop being judgy about others?

As long as sound is off and they're not disturbing anyone else, fine. What i hate is performative parenting when I'm in a restaurant. But i just ignore it.

And this is where teaching social expectations in different settings comes in. Not quick here's a device to keep you quiet

No screen time they are 1 and 7 years old.

I give him a pen and paper or if the restaurant has pencils and paper it’s hard parenting because sometimes I really wish I could give him the screen so we cannot be interrupted but to be honest these are the times we find out how they are doing at school. He tends to tell us a lot that’s happening in his little life. It’s important to know how he is and his wellbeing and I will always give him the opportunity and space to talk.

Yep, you got lucky - that's pretty unusual

My son has severe adhd and autism and if he didn’t have his iPad at the table, he would be up and down and climbing on the table and everything - it helps him focus on something else. I guess a lot of parents of children don’t have needs also do it so they can have peace at the table. So their children can be quiet and they can eat without focusing on the children causing havoc. I don’t see why people always seem to have an issue with what other parents do with their own children, it doesn’t affect you. I’m sure if they didn’t have the iPads and were being naughty, you’d also find a way to moan

I spend literally every moment of the day entertaining my kids on holiday. So yes, in the evening I let them have their devices so me and my husband can have a chat and unwind a little.

You are seeing a small snapshot of t.heir day.

That takes years and years. For some kids, there is a lot of interrupted dinners while this happens.

Hmmm. Interesting. He is a very calm (but outgoing and confident child) maybe that’s just his personality

I have just returned from holiday - short haul flight with TUI about 4.5 hours. With my 2 yo. He had a pad/ tablet on the flight and the lady sat next to us was disgusted he was on a screen. But what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I dunno, maybe not take a toddler on a 4.5 hour flight?

It seems that parents are proritising their desires ahead of what's practical and fair to their young children.

Surely mumsnet wouldn't exist if everyone only commented on things that were 'their business', it is a discussion forum after all

i tried so hard to be screen free. in the end i put on the baby sensory video on my iphone for my baby so i could put him in his high chair for 5 minutes so i could feed the pets or take the diaper bin bag out. it meant i could get him into a high chair for 2 minutes if we are in a restaurant without him screaming the house down so i could pick something to eat as he absolutely refused to be out of mine or dh’s arms. some babies are easier then others. yes i guess some could say don’t take him out but then i think it is also nice for him to be included in father in laws birthday, or a meal before watching the night light event that was put on and we went as a family.

I don't give a shit if people are sat glued to their devices. More fool them.

What I can't stand is those who think the rest of us want to hear it. And then have the audacity to get annoyed when someone asks them to turn it down. "Oh but our Billy needs the sound on!!!!" BUY HEADPHONES.

Sounds dramatic but I have anxiety every time I'm in public now because of it. People just do not have consideration for others anymore.

Is it?

I agree with you that it is concerning. Table manners one thing, but also instilling breaks from screen time. Even if only to be able to cope when there are periods of time without access such as their mobile or internet service provider having an outage.

It gets me too, hate it. Particularly toddlers still learning to talk. Parents need to be aware that it's the interaction with their dc that develops language and salt professionals know that some (not all) delays are down to parents simply not communicating often enough

Yes it can, i disagree with screens at the dinner table. I managed without them, many people did in restaurants.

Children need to learn to be bored, how to act in social settings. I gave the example of my niece pestering people to finish their dinner 10 minutes into getting it. At 6 she should be able to sit at a table. Butbshe was given screens

Do you have kids OP? Bit of a harsh judgement there…. We try not to allow the children phones when we are out (rare) but if the meal drags on for 4/5 hours…. Do you genuinely think an 6/7/8 year old is going to be able to sit and have a convo for that long?!

Huh? Parents have been giving kids to do during meals for ever, restaurants even provide colouring stuff in some instances. Children don’t need to learn to be bored. It’s not the 1700s where they should be seen and not heard.

Hard agree with all of this.

I let my kids have screens but only with zero volume.

Why people are trying to justify it I don't know. We all grew up without screens at the table. If you can't do it with your kids, don't take them to a restaurant. It's the same when out in a pushchair.

How would you know if they had special needs though? If they are autistic and they need the screen to keep calm. They're just going to look like any other child.

Also, you know what? If I'm on holiday, and I've spent all day with my kids, doing stuff with them, and in the evening I want some down time, with a glass of wine and dinner, and I know giving them screen will achieve that, why the fuck shouldn't I?

The devices are causing them to be seen and not heard (as long as they have headphones)

I also said how to act in social settings. So that is conversation with family. Not rudely watching a device and ignoring everyone. I expect a 6 year old to be able to sit and have their dinner.

Why can't people make a point without swearing

@AlllSeeingEye you do realise some babies cry more then others and socialisation is good for them. unfortunately my baby cries if he is an unfamiliar surrounding. that means to get him used to it i need to get him calm enough to actually get used to it