Friend doesn't want to go out after dark on holiday

[curtainp0le]

I am going on holiday for 3 nights with 2 friends to a popular city in Spain in a couple of weeks. One friend, let's call her Susan, is keen to go to a bar or a club one evening. We are mid/late 20s but none of us are major clubbers or party people. I don't drink at all. The other friend, Elaine, is reluctant to go to a bar. She is scared to 'be out too late in a place I don't know. Scary stories in the news have made me extra cautious'.
I said that we will stick together, but even at that she is worried about walking back late to our hotel as we are 'still a group of girls'. I said there will be night buses and trams. I also pointed out that in Spain they eat dinner late and it will get dark about 7pm, so by necessity we will probably have to be out after dark if we want to have anything to eat. At this, Elaine said we will need to get a phone number for a taxi.

AIBU to feel a bit annoyed about this attitude? I totally understand, in light of recent events, why she is concerned. I don't want to cause drama. But I also feel we need to be realistic that statistically anything like that is extremely unlikely. I don't want to feel restricted on the basis of Elaine's fears. I don't want to sit in the hotel from 7pm onwards. It's my holiday too! And Susan genuinely wants to go to a bar. How would you manage this?

25 years ago there were mobile phones and Skype etc

Absolutely. Sadly isolated incidents happen. Hiding away from life and living in fear doesn’t change that.

A school friend of mine was murdered in her own hime - that doesn’t mean we should fear being home alone at any time.

Skype was created 21 years ago.

The shops are normally open until about 9 or 10

25 years ago mobile phones had Ariel’s and were only for making calls.

Skype wasn’t around until the early 2000’s and even then it was very basic

The vast majority of people did not have mobile phones 25/30 years ago!!!

I had a mobile in around 95ish I believe, might hve been later, big old brick that got insanely hot. I doubt I would have been able to make calls abroad with it, certainly didnt take it on any holidays with me!

And was initially desktop only.

You are adults. If she wants a 7pm home time curfew, that’s on her. Leave her in the hotel.

Go out wtih Susan and tell Elaine she's very welcome to join you if she can think of a way of getting back to the hotel that she'd be comfortable with. You don't all have to stay in.

I thought you were going to say you were past your prime in terms of your age! Seriously you are in your twenties, going to Spain and one of the group doesn't want to sample the night life, you might as well be going to Margate!
Life is short, you won't be young forever, go out and party, leave your friend at the hotel but don't let her stop you enjoying yourself, have fun 😊.

What “recent events”?

I got a mobile phone with my student loan in 1997 (why? Who knows) and I didn’t know anyone else with one for a good few years. They certainly didn’t have video calling. And they didn’t work abroad. So the idea of this aunt receiving a call in the nick of time at a mysterious serial killers house and leaving to make a video call is frankly laughable.

@OwnBrandCornflake

Elaine said we will need to get a phone number for a taxi.

Er, no. Elaine will need to get the number for a taxi. And Elaine can be the one to arrange and pay for it while you two enjoy yourselves.

And honestly, in the future just exclude her from any travel plans. It doesn’t sound like traveling is really for her anyway.

Make her very aware before u get on the plane with her you and the other friend will be going out of a evening and to expect to sit in the hotel room on her own. I bet she won't like it and will paint you to be bad friends "they left me out blablabla" but at least you can say you warned her.

When is a person's 'prime', out of interest?

i remember talking about video calling in about 1996 so it did exist back then. But very very few had that technology. Many people and companies were using dial up modems.

I'd suggest to her that she may want to pull out of the holiday as it doesn't sound like it's for her.

Does she not work? How does she get home in winter in the UK?

It will be the same if you were in your hotel bar surely? Just order an Uber when you want to leave and she won’t have to venture outside anywhere.

This is so sad, she’s only young, imagine living the next 60yrs like this.

i remember talking about video calling in about 1996 so it did exist back then

thats a very specific memory for 30 years ago @Mummyoflittledragon!

I'm probably remembering wrong, maybe it was a phone call? I just remembered that something to do with her daughter happened or she would have been killed. It was a huge deal for the family and I only know about it due to listening in and someone mentioned it again when they all went on holiday.

She video called her daughter 30 years ago? 🤔

Another one who doesn't know what the recent events are, but would like to.

No reason Susan can't stay in the hotel.

Apparently The first public demonstration of a one-way videophone was in 1927, and the first two-way videophone demonstration was in 1930. However, the first commercial video conferencing service didn't launch until 1970 in Pittsburgh which is mind blowing really. But yeah like I said before I'm likely remembering wrong and just used to saying videocall.

Just saw this explanation. Those events are exceedingly rare. Compare their number to the amount of trips made every day by all women. Sarah Everard also took a big risk, walking alone through London almost three miles in the dark during a lockdown. I can't imagine doing that. As long as you exercise caution, you'll be all right.