God I said something awful on purpose to my grandfather

[DenimTurtle]

My mum left me in the care of grandparents as a a very young child. My grandparents effectively raised me.

My childhood was awful. Mostly because of my grandfather who was extremely physically abusive - hair pulling, throwing objects, spitting on me to name a few examples. He would make me sleep on the floor as a punishment also. He was very introverted around other adults and I think tried to regain a sense of empowerment by abusing me. The man could just not experience any discomfort without his eyes popping out his head and his whole body puffing up. He was a monster.

Anyway, I left the country as soon as I could.

I returned recently and at the request of my grandmother went to see my grandfather at the retirement home he know lives.

He leads a sad life. Sitting in a chair all day and watching tv.

When I saw him he started getting angry over something minuscule. He started the whole routine of his face going red and I just said “I’ve had enough of this, thank God you’ll probably be dead the next time I’m in England. I can’t stand you”. I touched on how pathetic he and his life was.

Trust me I am a nice person. I donate around £300 each month to charity. I give neighbours kids’ a lift when I can. I just snapped.

Just needed to get off my chest.

Good for you. It's a pity no one else told him that when u were a child and stuck up for you. Cut yourself a break. In fact give yourself a huge pat on the back!!!!
Proud of you.

Good for you OP. 👏👏👏

Abusive violent men don't deserve sympathy and forgiveness just because they're old. Fuck that.

I wouldn't want the karma from wishing someone dead either but each to their own.

Karma 😂

Karma is real?

So everyone who does awful stuff has awful stuff done to them eventually?

And everyone who is kind and lovely never has bad stuff happen to them?

Karma isn't real.

You've given not an ounce of sympathy to OP, who was horrifically abused as a child.

If karma is real then maybe you should be nicer to abuse victims tbh.

I hope you are doing well now and living a lovely life. You did not deserve the card you were dealt and he should never have treated you like that. You did nothing wrong saying what you did. He was only crying because he felt sorry for himself.

OP bullies very often wail and sob when the person they tormented turns on them.

It's not because his feelings are hurt. It's because he's lost the power over you.

Are you OPs grandfather? Cos you're the only one who's bent out of shape.

If you never said it you would have always wanted to and never got the chance.

So what if he was sobbing, I'm sure he used the Crocodile tears, it'll never happen again routine on your gran lots of times.

He's just feeling sorry for himself still with no regard how terrified he made you both feel.

I think you were right to say it, all the years he abused you, all the tears you probably shed, I think you should feel a sense of relief , you're not the abuser. If you want to feel sorry for anyone feel sorry for your past self, you as the little girl he abused, save your tears for her. Xxx

He doesn't deserve any sympathy. You can let the guilt go. Snapping at someone who abused you does not make you a bad person.

That doesn't make any sense? Not every reply will be in agreement.

THIS. I am so proud of you OP for standing up for yourself. You protected your small inner child, never, ever be ashamed of that.

Your grandfather is an utter arsehole, being old doesnt reverse the evil people do.

OP, I’m really sorry that those things happened to you.
You’ve done nothing wrong, move forward in forgiveness for yourself.

If he died right now op how would you feel? Relieved? Guilty? If it’s the latter you might want to apologise for what you said but do reinforce the fact you said what you said due to pent up anger about the way he treated you. You don’t have anything to feel guilty for, he’s clearly a very unpleasant man. But if you would feel happier clearing the air, then that’s ok too.

Except all of the replies are in agreement, apart from the one oddball who believes in karma.

Can we all now just ignore the child abuser apologist. She's boring.

If karma is real, then OP's grandfather only got a fraction of what he deserves today.

Good that you went to see him so that you know he didn't mellow into a kindly old soul who you might have regretted not visiting. Your decision to leave and not look back is totally vindicated, don't waste anymore time thinking about him

Karma is as real as unicorns.

OP. What you said was more than understandable

You said yourself he started getting angry about something minuscule. He is exactly the same person he was when he abused you - if he had the strength he probably would have pulled your hair- he just couldn’t.

He is probably really unpleasant to the HCAs who have to care for him. Maybe your words will stick with him and he’ll be nicer now.

Don’t feel bad, he is horrible. However, you need to stop trying to justify that you are a good person. You don’t need to prove anything. You have been made to believe due to the abuse that you are less than. This is not true.

He was abusive, cruel and beyond mean to you as a little girl. No matter why he was angry you did not deserve that treatment. What you said to him was the tip of a very big iceberg, and the only reason the fecker is crying is cos he knows he has to face up to his crimes sooner rather than later now. Time is ticking and that old big hand is getting closer to his reckoning day. Good I hope he fries on the way to hell. Good for you for being so brave, I hope one day it does make you feel better to have had your say. Put it and him behind you now and try your hardest to move on with your life and make it a great one, to spite him

You did the right thing. He needed to hear the truth no matter how upsetting it is. He’s probably been hiding from it for his entire life. Fuck him and his tears. He is a monster and monsters tears mean exactly nothing.

You have to forgive yourself for a very natural outburst. Who knows, it may even have done some good, he might face up to things at last.

The man was abusive, I'm surprised you went to see him, it was good of you. I expect you hoped he would be a bit softened by now but he wasn't.

Put it behind you, move on.

It made me laugh.