It's just a fiver

[user7699099]

I have a new manager at my workplace and she is arranging a collection for a member of staff for their birthday. Today she told everyone she is doing the collection and everyone can put £5 in.

I told her I don't contribute to collections as I can't afford too and she replied its just a fiver.

£5 might not be much to her and some of the other staff who work full time but I work part time and every penny I earn is needed.

Now I feel really embarrassed that I had to refuse giving £5 because money is tight, but I know it wont be a one off there will always be a collection for someone's birthday, leaving, baby etc

AIBU?

Just to add I don't expect and have never received a collection for myself. I am happy to opt out and not receive anything.

Stick your guns. I don’t agree with work collections but they should be voluntary.

And did she then accept that you are opting out and don't want to be part of it? Could she have thought you didn't realise the first time round that it was £5 and not more? But yeah she shouldn't be passing comment on someone not giving to a collection.

It's not just a fiver. It's a fiver for every member of staff. Once a year = lots of fivers.

My answer is no and I don't want a gift either. It's a job. Not family/friends.

Presumably that's going to set a precedent then of a fiver every birthday?

No, bitthday presents at work should ge a couple of £ max. Just enough to get a card & a cake or bottle of wine.

It certainly shouldn't be an amount set and enforced by management. Stick your ground

You don't sound unreasonable to me. Good on you for saying no. If it had been a "contribute what you can afford if you are able to" that would be fine, but I agree I dislike when people dictate the amount you have to give. It takes away from the niceness of it and makes it feel really forced (in my opinion anyway).

YANBU. At my old workplace there was always a collection and it ended up costing £60 per year which I'd then get back in vouchers on my birthday. There was lots of pressure to join in. I was also the most part time member of staff and couldn't afford it. There was also lots of pressure to join in bitchy meals out. Hideous.

Hmm. I’d have donated £2 but.. yeah I guess if you don’t have the money you don’t have the money. Does seem a little stingy though.

Well done for saying no. I would have too and opted out of receiving anything for my birthday.

My work don’t do collections for birthdays. The company pays for a gift for everyone and it’s posted to them. Just some smellies and chocolate. But it’s nice and takes the pressure off individuals. More companies should do that!

Stick to your guns. You're there to earn money, not spend it.

the "it's only a fiver" is so rude. We do send cards around for key events (not birthdays!), so things like new job, new baby, wedding etc. and even then it's completely fine for people to just sign the card. Don't feel bad. You'll have done everyone a favour by putting your foot down.

No adult needs a present from work colleagues. Thankfully for me that all stopped in covid and never came back

£5 here and there adds up. What if there were 4 birthdays in one month?
You did the right thing, I bet you weren't the only one who didn't want to give that much, you were just the only one brave enough to say no.
She has a cheek and she's not a good manager if she thinks it's acceptable to collect for every birthday and decides on how much to give. It should be entirely voluntary.

She shouldn't ask anyone directly. And then if she made the mistake of rattling the tin, she should've backed off as soon as you said you couldn't afford it, not tried to push it being only a fiver. She's a cheeky bugger.

We only do cards and a collection for retirements,someone leaving and big birthdays, but no one is obliged to sign the card or give to a collection.

It’s just a fiver this time but it’s not just a fiver when there is 3 birthdays, a wedding, a baby and a retirement all in the same month.

It may be just a fiver but it's your fiver.
Yours to decide how you spend it.
She should never have put you in that position and you were quite right to refuse.

In one place I worked in the past I had to budget £50 a month for baby collections, birthdays sponsorship for charity things... We were all expected to do some sort of money raising for charity and the company would match the donation (and avoid paying tax by doing so) so it used to get ridiculous.
Nothing wrong with opting out OP. Your manager should realise not everyone is in the same financial situation as her.

I think any contribution should be (a) voluntary and (b) not a set amount.

It all adds up. With the pandemic and collections moving to paypal, my usual £1 or £2 offerings seemed paltry, so I defaulted to £5, but I do think this is a lot. You know your financial circumstances. I hate that collections happen at work as it raises this issue, which should never come up. Your participation, or not, and the amount should all be confidential, like it was for us pre pandemic.

If it's just a fiver, she could put one in for you ... :)

(I would NEVER dare say this in real life, much less to a manager/superior but just imagine her face ... If you were really feeling cheeky you could report her to HR for pressuring her - as a manager she should be smoother.)

I think it's completely wrong to stipulate an amount and even worse to make the comment she then made. As PPs have said, any contribution should be entirely voluntary.

We usually only do (voluntary) collections for big birthdays, weddings, new babies and retirements.

Start as you mean to go on. They won't bother asking after a while hopefully.

well done for saying no

Some people don’t appreciate just how much a fiver can affect your weekly budget if you don’t have a huge amount of money.
I was a single mum for a long time and a five would have been a couple of meals for me and DC