It's just a fiver

[user7699099]

I have a new manager at my workplace and she is arranging a collection for a member of staff for their birthday. Today she told everyone she is doing the collection and everyone can put £5 in.

I told her I don't contribute to collections as I can't afford too and she replied its just a fiver.

£5 might not be much to her and some of the other staff who work full time but I work part time and every penny I earn is needed.

Now I feel really embarrassed that I had to refuse giving £5 because money is tight, but I know it wont be a one off there will always be a collection for someone's birthday, leaving, baby etc

AIBU?

Go into work tomorrow and "forget" to take your purse. Ask boss if you can borrow a fiver for lunch. Observe.

When we do collections at work, which we do frequently, some put in and some don’t, some put a fiver in and some put in a quid but there’s no expectation of putting anything in. We all always sign the card.

Most people would never want to be the recipient of a gift that had left the giver struggling.

Well done OP, next time repeat or just say…
I don’t give for work gifts and don’t expect to receive, but thanks for making me aware of the collection …. and leave it at that.
Some people have zero idea ie manager

Not being unreasonable
I only give for colleagues I genuinely like and even then it's rarely £5!

I'll never forget the time I joined a new office, had been there approx 4 weeks and was asked to contribute £30 to a gift for a colleague that was going off on maternity leave! I nearly passed out when I was asked and as I was new and didn't know them well enough I didn't want to seem mean. So I paid. Have regretted it ever since as the girl never came back from maternity leave. I'm actually getting cross at myself again reliving it!

Well done. Please do not give in as otherwise it will be endless.

If it is "only" £5 then your manager can afford another £5 on your behalf if £5 is nothing to her.

We've asked staff not to do collections for this reason. Your manager is particularly rude and pushy, but even a lighter touch request is embarrassing if you're broke. It also risks turning into some sort of popularity barometer of who got the best gift/biggest collection. One poor woman had a tenner in hers as no one was in the office to contribute. We now buy a gift from the company for big occasions (not ordinary birthdays) and send a card round for signing.

Are you expecting children to receive presents from work colleagues? Up the chimneys?

YANBU. We stopped the annual birthday collections in our team because it seemed daft to contribute £5 per birthday and then get it all back on your own birthday. It was always a voucher.

Now we just do a happy birthday on a Teams chat, and if it's your birthday and you're going to be in the office that week you might bring in something nice to share with coffee, or not, no pressure.

We still celebrate significant events (retirement, "big" birthdays, baby, wedding etc) with a whip round but it's absolutely voluntary and everyone can sign the card regardless of contribution.

My work place has a sensible way of doing it. First they ask you want to put in, perfectly ok if not and this made clear every time. It's at each person's discretion how much they want to give, no comments made or pre determined sum.

Are you sure she was actually demanding the money or was the wording more along the lines of "suggested contribution of £5". Could you have misinterpreted the ask?

I can't imagine a manager so clueless as to turn a whip-round into a legally binding obligation, but I expect there will be some...

Where I work it's a very arms length general email "if anyone would like to contribute towards a little gift for Jane's birthday, let Amanda know and she can give you her bank details". No mention of amount, no pressure and there's still the option to just add a message to the card (which is often an ecard nowadays)

it's the only way not to piss off the staff.

Well done! Stick to your No.

As she's your manager, point out that you obviously need a substantial pay rise. Then you might be able to consider contributing to the next collection.

What a pain in the arse! I used to work somewhere where there was always someone leaving/birthday/had baby. Most of the time I did not know them!

Luckily it is only leaving dos now and often I do not know the person so don't contribute! Thankfully no secret santa either. Fuck off with that!!

I only ever put £1 into collections. £2 if I like the person

She shouldn't expect people to contribute or set the amount. Should be voluntarily and up to the person giving as to how much.

I’m usually in charge of collections at work and I always stress that they’re completely optional and no pressure.

There shouldn't be work collections unless possibly a voluntary one for a big birthday/baby etc. If they try & collect for everyone invariably someone will be forgotten so that's unfair. I even put a stop to birthday cards for this reason. Stick to your guns. It's not for her to say if she thinks you should be able to afford it. If it means so much to her she should pay the whole thing. My old manager did this, just bought flowers & chocolates out of her own money

How is she doing the collection, is it an envelope going round with cash? I never have a fiver in my purse so couldn’t do it anyway but I’m with you on the tight budgeting. Every penny counts at the moment and there could be another collection for someone else in a couple of weeks, so that’s another fiver.

You can only be stingy if you have money. Genuinely poor is a different thing.

That's disgusting that they asked you to contribute that amount, but hopefully you'd never do it again!

Cannot stand collections at work. Worse is charity stuff.

When I worked in an office I opted out of it all - birthday cakes, gifts for all sorts of things - as much because I do not want these things as because I did not want to donate. Who wants an office birthday gift? Some generic crap no one cares about. Loads did after me and it all ground to a halt, much better. Male dominated environments like garages/road workmen etc never engage in this shite and it feels an extension of the 'be kind' crap to me.

It’s not a legally required tax, it’s your money and you said no. End of story. Very bad reply from her!!!