AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

I agree. They are cf’s and I would not go on their open day 🤢 but keepsake and personalised items are not useful.

Bless you OP this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I wouldn't be going to their stupid Open Day or giving them money! In fact I wouldn't be going to my VIP sneak peek.

When my baby was born I was delighted and grateful to anyone who wanted to visit. If I was feeling dreadful I'd message, apologise and explain. Nobody minded. If randomers dropped in I'd either ignore the bell or put the kettle on and say forgive the mess.

I met many of my neighbours for the first time like this, some brought presents and they didn't even know our names. I noticed it especially with some older generations; saying things like "we always saw you going for your walks then we were making bets because you hadn't been seen for a few days." Other people I had loose connections with dropped off gifts. It was an absolutely gorgeous time!!! I feel a bit teary now remembering even though it was only a few years ago.

Very grabby!

Well - it's honest, but not on to do this.
Fine to say no gifts thank you because we already have plenty of clothes and toys, but not OK to ask for money instead!
I wonder if anyone will turn up.

I've read it as no presents needed but if you do want to get something cash would be preferred bit like most wedding invites now

Tell them you have donated £10 to Children in Need as a gift in their name

Yeah - totally cheeky

No toys or gifts please, your presence is enough

Maybe different if it was a christening where you expect some sort of gift

We asked for either books or vouchers when our daughter was born - although we appreciated gifts, there were a lot of clothes that weren’t to our taste or that weren’t appropriate for the weather. I personally don’t think it’s cheeky, but perhaps gift them a voucher if it would make you more comfortable?

Haven't got time to rtft but I'd be replying, "Lovely, please can you let me know baby's savings account details." Or, write a cheque in baby's name. What grabby people.

Honestly, people think their babies are the incarnation. I would tell her sorry you can’t make that day, let her know when would be a good time to visit. And bring a bunch of flowers, a box of brownies or another token gift that won’t add to the clutter.

Clothes and toys can be regifted or donated, so they're being persnickety imo.

I find it weird everyone being massively offended at being invited to essentially a birthday party for the newborn. The money thing is rude, being invited to a meet up absoloutly isn't. Its an invite not a summons, just dont go but don't just 'drop by another time' thats not the option you have been offered.

Everyone saying I wouldn't go then, I would go by myself another (far more inconvenient time) when I can talk to the mam and hold the baby properly without others... have you ever assumed for one second its not actually about 'you' and your comfort as the visitor?

Obviously inviting every Facebook friend would be weird but with our first (maybe due to being the first baby in the friend group on both side) people CONSTANTLY dropped by and asked to come meet him. I wish I had thought to get the all together at one time rather than one after another after another.

We had people traipsing through our house non stop for weeks as soon as we got back from hospital. I had no time to relax or recover and it was incredibly hard after an already life changing ordeal. By the 2nd and 3rd it seems everyone excitement had waned and they where busy with their own kids/lives but the 1st was insane and exhausting.

'Open Day' just wow !

I think to be on the safe side OP you should turn up with some Frankincense or Myrrh 😀

But that's for your pleasure and not therefore a gift.

You could be doing them a favour if you ask, very tactfully, whether sleeplessness meant that that reference to gifts wasn't quite phrased as they intended, with something along the lines of "because of course DF I know that you're absolutely not grabby but others might not understand."

To be honest, you would kind of expect it on an wedding invite, but in relation to seeing a newborn baby....nah...not having it.

I would definitely make sure that something was so personalised that it couldn't be donated to a second hand store.

They are coming across as terribly grabby to be honest.

This is mental, you’re going to visit a baby not attend a wedding!

An open day ???? What the f is that ? Its not a school or a business launch ? I would so not go on that basis bit to add the CF present i would defo not go

Wouldn't have a problem with it. If you've already got a load of baby stuff then some cash for future purchases would probably be extremely welcome.

So an open day to view the golden child and payment in lieu of a gift. Wow.

Behold ye shepherds and wise men and look upon our anointy-nointy baby...
Also, if you could stump up a few quid for the pleasure, that'd be great 🙌

Me too, I think most of us have, but that’s still rude

Yeah money is majorly grabby. I’d turn up with just a card.

😂😂😂

I don't think I'd even go. Stand in line and view his majesty, drop your money and go.
Like someone else said, she'll be moaning that no one bothers in a few months and it'll be this attitude that will cause it.

Ugh how grabby!

Open day like they are presenting the bloody messiah.

That would seriously put me off being friends with them. Gifts are always welcome but not expected gees.