AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

I personally always buy 3-6 months or 6-9 because most people gift newborn and then you end up with so much little clothes. I understand why people do though.

It’s crass, rude, greedy and lazy. An Open Day??? As for the money request, I wouldn’t comply and I wouldn’t go to the Open Day either. I’m embarrassed for her.

Bib embroidered

‘I’M PAY PER VIEW’

Cute AF.

Oh this is so bad 😂
I think I'd be taking the most horrible ready meal I could find as a gift...

WOW!!! I have no other words!

I've visions of people filing past and genuflecting to the Madonna and child. 🙄

Personally I'd take nothing, just to spite them. Cheeky bastards.

The gift isn't for them its for the child, children don't need money.

I hate the entitlement, gifts as nice unnecessary gestures not something to expect and dictate.

I have had 3 kids and could count on my hands the amount of gifts we got, half where from parents neighbors or co-workers that didn't even know us and we certainly didn't expect anything.

Friends came to visit to see the baby not to bring presents. I do think one day party to do a 'meet and greet' it is genius though as we had people coming in dribs and drabs for weeks and it was exhausting constantly getting visitors while recovering.

Oh I wonder what THE most annoying noisy toy is….something that goes off all the time…

Unbelievable. Very money grabbing and not nice to invite everyone at once. I'm sure it will put all the friends and family off.

I'm looking for a unique, personalised keepsake. Any ideas? I don't want to buy the same as everyone else.

Baby showers were traditionally an American thing I think, and we seem to have adopted it over here now too. Same with Black Friday and such. Ugh.

I don't think I'd bother TBH

Appallingly worded.

in the southern US it’s kinda normal to host a ‘sip and see’ to show off your baby to slightly wider community after a couple of weeks. But generally that would be the couple inviting their friends to celebrate with them and providing some drinks. Especially if the mother has had a baby shower it would be considered extremely crass to mention gifts at all.

the most generous interpretation of it is that it’s socially clumsy. But it would certainly raise my eyebrows…

I don’t know what’s worst the open day or asking for money, what is it “rent a cuddle day” do you have to pay extra if the baby’s asleep !

it’s been many years since I had a baby, but if my DIL asked my opinion on a open day or staggered visits I would advise staggered. A visit for an hour or so for a few days is so less exhausting, and quite honestly I wouldn’t like to think of the poor baby being passed around like an exhibit. Unless she’s going to sit whilst the visitors take turns to lay money at her feet.

my DIL asked her mum and me to arrange set days for visits, so family friends went through us to arrange it. One or two a day, with them phoning before setting of to check still ok. Mine you I was there every day or two cleaning/cooking etc (which in hindsight I regret, her mum went most days and held the baby, some days I went and realised I’d just had a Quick Look at her in my DILS arms or the crib. Still I think I helped and I would do it again without question)

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/mobiles-and-sleep-aids/cot-mobiles-and-night-lights/vtech-baby-lullaby-lambs-cot-mobile/p/206388?srsltid=AfmBOorS2vZNyTyEidEGdxZ4jmeQUxfZ6_K0QcNTArY2VRakRlyOybSs_4A

My kids have this, we had to get a 2nd one as the both love it and they still use it at 6 and 3 year old as a night light... I swear its the LOUDEST thing on earth in the middle of the night when they hit the light button and it suddenly scream 'HELLO BABY' in a shrill baby type voice then it either sings loudly or makes a 'dripping tap' white noise for like 20 minutes.

They're inviting people round to give them envelopes of money 😂😂😂

Just go along & take your keepsake

I find the open house strange! If there are lots of folk there then visitors will have little time with the parents or new baby- especially if they also need to step out to look after the baby or hosting duties. Why not have series of smaller meet ups with friends/ family over a longer period of time?

I can understand the parents not wanting to be gifted loads of things they don’t need, but their message is crass. Again they have created the problem by having a party/ open house - or maybe they are having the open house so it’s an event and they get gifts like at a wedding? I just buy a small gift like a book and a gift voucher for clothes/ toys when older - I wouldn’t just transfer them £xx.

Please tell me they have a large rockery in the garden where the new daddy will hoist baby aloft in triumph while the Lion King song plays through strategically placed speakers. .. 😁😁😁😁

my friends who were becoming first-time parents heard this from so many people that they bought very few newborn clothes anticipating they might be given loads of baby clothes as gifts. They were but everyone had the same idea and gave those older sizes (3-6 months & 6-9 months) and hardly anything for newborns, they had to do emergency shopping to get more clothes. Now I'm thinking I will revert to giving newborn sizes!!!!

Well, since your presence is the present, just take yourself.

Firstly I wouldn't go on open day I'm not begging to see a friend or their new baby and certainly wouldn't want to go when their is a house full I'd go a week later when her partners back at work and I'm free. Secondly I'd be choosing what I'm buying it's a gift for the baby not money for them

I thought this. I think they mean “if you were going to bring a gift please can we have money instead.” Not “you must bring money.”

I think an open day to meet a new baby sounds nice though again I think it would be better received as an “open house”. Which is a more English term. I’ve heard it called a “sip and see” in the US.

In any event I am pretty sure they won’t even know who’s brought what within 5 minutes.

Funnily I always do the opposite, when mine were born everyone bought us stuff for when the baby was older which was very appreciated but then we realised we hadn’t got nearly enough vests etc and some newborn bits would have been useful