AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

I'd take a pack of 2nd size nappies.
A couple of weeks after the "open day"!
Seriously, who thinks they're that important to have an open day and request money?!
Crass

Is she American in Atlanta this is very common it’s called a sip and see

A day for meeting a new baby is called a sip and see? Is that because the parents provide drinks?

yep

Unfortunately there's always a new low.
Every time I think I've seen/heard it all, surprise!

Open day? For a viewing? I wouldn’t go and they wouldn’t get fuck all from me. I don’t know who people think they are nowadays

They might even have had a stall in the back garden selling plant cuttings - reminds of Open Garden Day, usually in aid of a charity.

Well 96% of you don’t think I am BU! Almost unanimous! Just to clear a couple of things up: yes, it sounds a bit like a sip and see party from USA. Another trend coming over the pond? 🤔 I’ve no doubt my friend and her DP will be great hosts and provide drinks and snacks - that’s not the part I’m bothered about.
English isn’t her second language, so it’s not a translation error - just an etiquette error I think!
Thank you to everybody who’s contributed, either making me feel like less of an awful person for my opinion, or simply for the pure hilarity of some of the posts. Oh, and I really hope it doesn’t end up in the daily fail!

People can get carried away with tv/social media stuff but I'm thankful for friends who've knocked sense into me on some occasions as I do them.

We've all done things we look back on and cringe, and wonder why no one said anything at the time.
Or this may be the new her, babies do something to some people.

I would give a voucher for toys. I certainly would not give cash

Shocking, and so rude!! As PPs have said, they could at least have said 'if anyone wants to give a gift, please could we suggest.....". The way they worded it was so grabby and awful!

But totally - you do you. Sounds like you have a lovely plan for a present, and stuff them, if they just want £££.

That's incredibly rude, very grabby.

If they don't want clothes or toys maybe give nappies and wipes but not money.

Tacky as all hell but you lost me at “open day” anyway. It’s a baby not the Crown Jewels!

Maybe they just worded it badly and meant something like "your presence is enough and we don't need a present but if you want to give us something please give money."

That's how I would have interpreted it.

Be daft poems next. I don't think I would go on that open invite.

They don’t want your frankincense and myrrh. Only gold will be accepted.

Going against the grain I think this is a bloody brilliant idea, means they can get what the baby needs or start a bank account for the child instead of filling their home with crap. When my kids were born if I saw another soft toy I was going to scream. I like this idea, also my mum always gives vouchers or money when babies are born specifically so the parents can purchase what they wish or save it.

It's called a sip and see, they're very common in America and asking for money rather than a gift is no different than a bride and groom asking for money rather than household goods etc.

I actually think this is brilliant - every new mum that posts on here about not wanting visitors etc is told - tell them when they can come don't just let them turn up. So this new mum has done just that - 1 day of hosting, 1 day of absolutely needing hair makeup, nice clothes on etc when everyone is there in a more party like setting no one will notice if she sits down and shuts her eyes for 5 minutes because the focus isn't just in her.
And all the posts we see about what can I do with all these things my newborn baby has been given that we don't want/need - again problem sorted; your helping the future of this child regardless on whether they save it for a bank account for the child or to get things as and when they need it.
I've got a box in my attic of "personalised keepsakes" for all 3 of my children. Eldest has 5 first tooth, first curl sets. Middle child has 3 birth certificate holders, and youngest got personalised blankets and teddies.

Have they said, give us money? Or have they said IF you wanted to give us a present we asked for a monetary gift instead?
Because there is a big difference

I very much think so too

I don't know why everyone is so offended by the new mum in this situation. Perhaps she's all over the place after a difficult birth and can't constantly keep the house perfect for visitors every day or maybe she wants some peace and quiet. Clearly she is seeing close friends on other days too so this might just be for those not too close people to get it over and done with. I remember when my son was little, I really liked getting out every day walking or to meet people out of the house and the thought of staying in and waiting for someone in the house really got me down especially when they were late.

Also, I know what a pain in the arse it was to be given massive bears and inappropriate clothes for my son...we didn't have the space in the house for a load of tut, which is what keepsakes are. Trust me noone wants them.

People saying a voucher is better than cash...why? Vouchers are a massive pain in the arse. I hate them. You have to keep them safe, spend before they expire, remember what is left on the voucher or perhaps there is nothing you'd want to buy at that shop....happened to me with a wedding voucher I was given...
Cash is a much better option, then the parents can spend it on useful items or when they see something would like and they aren't tied to buying it in a super awkward manner. Or they can put it in the child's saving account which is what we did with the cash we received.

Be kind. Think about what is best for them and not for you - isn't that the point of gifting?

This is exactly what they've said in their sleep deprived way. That they have enough things for the baby, so if you want to give something then give money instead. Not that you must give money. Exactly like brides and grooms do.

So what? Instead you'd be that awkward person that just turns up to see the baby when they want to? Reguardless of the fact that mum and dad might want to just want to be able to lounge about in their PJ's sleeping when baby sleeps? Or that instead of enjoying their time as a family mum or dad or both is trying to constantly keep the house spotless, constantly making sure they have cakes, biscuits etc in the house for guests.
Because if you ask if you can come and they said no they'd be accused of being "precious" new parents.