AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

I hope in years to come they cringe with embarrassment.

🤣🤣🤣

I generally make something for friends who have babies. Blankets, or mittens and booties etc. If that's not being gratefully received that's a them problem not a me problem. I'd be ignoring that request entirely.

My granddaughter is 6 months but she was much smaller than expected when born and dd1 didn't have many newborn outfits. They had to rush out and buy some!

When my eldest was a baby, older people were forever slipping 50p down the side of his pram. I lived in Edinburgh then and was always out and about. It’s apparently unlucky not to give a new baby money, for some people. It’s not something I’d heard of before but friends confirmed it’s a thing. Possibly it’s just how they do things.

Just do your own thing and ignore their message. Not sure if would even go !

🤣🤣🤣 totally this - especially the smoke bombs 🤣

Will she be atop a throne, holding the anointed one whilst you all fling cash at it?

I wudnt go. I’d send the gift in the post and leave it at that. See them another time

I think people are resistant to cash over presents because it feels like having a family member or friend treat you like, “hi, I did this thing, now hand over your money please”.

It started with weddings and has made its way to babies, and it feels like being treated as a cash cow by people you know.

Politics of envy maybe but at least shopping for something can be enjoyable for the giver, whereas the hand coming out every 2 years (wedding, baby 1, baby 2, baby 3…) feels transactional. Especially when you’re not hitting any of these little “cash-in” milestones yourself!

That is really cheeky, I know this is common at weddings now but you should never expect gifts for a baby and just be grateful for anything you do get. Very rude if them.

It just comes across as grabby. Same for weddings when people ask for money, what happened to just get what you are given?!
Close family have before asked what they could buy for a new baby because it would be a larger gift (car seat, cot etc) but friends and people that want to pop by just bring whatever and it’s gratefully received. I like to chose gifts for people or something personalised for a child. The minute I am told what to give I rebel and do the opposite. You want cash? Enjoy your John Lewis voucher 🤣

I couldn’t get that worked up, stick a fiver/tenner in a card and jobs done. They probably don’t want 30 rubber giraffes hanging around the house.
Open day is random but I get it, the endless visitors is tiring. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Or give a voucher.

An open day… I’m cringing. Clearly their first child.

This post reminds me of this picture.
Ps I think I read about this in a Daily Mail post I'm afraid...

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/31291321/friend-open-day-meet-baby-asking-money-gifts/amp/

Noooooooooooo

Oh shit.

Cheeky as anything! Who wants to go to an ‘open day’ to see a baby anyway?! Even Jesus only had a few shepherds and 3 wise men!! As PP have said I usually get an outfit in an older size and sometimes vouchers for Cook for parents so they can not think about cooking for one meal. Butt I’d be inclined not to bother at all in this situation!

You sound like you’d appreciate tat with your tatty attitude. Gift show the thought from the giver.

An open day to see their child. You’d think the daft mare had just given birth to Jesus Christ himself.
And the request for money? Beyond twattish.
YANBU.

I suggest all friends and family give the open day a swerve and arrange a normal visit whenever the parents feel like welcoming visitors, be that in a week, a month, a year, sometime before the child’s 18th birthday…

I originally selected ‘You are not unreasonable’ but after reading all the comments I actually think it’s a good idea - no drib drabs of people coming through the door for weeks and not having to worry about getting a plethora of keepsakes, crochet blankets, or bunnies. Mind you, I much prefer giving a low effort gift so £10 in an envelope would work better for me anyway.

I’ve seen super cute money boxes for babies and small children. You could bung ten quid in pound coins in there and be done with it. If they feel the need to prise out the cash they can have at it.

Yes it's cheeky and if you've already bought them a gift it's fine to give them that.

My objection is that they are blatantly asking for money without being asked. I think if you asked what they'd like and they said they'd prefer money then that's okay but otherwise it is very cheeky and you can do what you like.