AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

firstly it's absolutely absurd to have an "open day" to visit a baby

I disagree. They aren't traditional, but my friend had a "meet Georgiana afternoon" at hers and it was lovely, both for guests and the new parents! Instead of having dribs and drabs over months they only had one afternoon to have the house spick and span, and guests over to meet the new arrival which they found much easier and less stressful. It also meant we got to catch up with other guests we knew. Some people stopped in for 15 minutes, some stayed a couple of hours.

I've voted it's rude buuuuuuut I did the 'open day' thing. My dd was born a couple of weeks before my birthday, and it was summer, add in having a large family we had to have round we asked friends to come round for my birthday bbq instead. I never mentioned presents (or expected them) but in hindsight suggesting something may have been a good idea - dd was given 8 bunny soft toys so something different would have been nice!😆

I’m very old and am always enthusiastic about the arrival of new babies.

I have never come across this before. You mention there may be a cultural expectation? Could you expand on the new mother’s culture so posters from that community can advise?

Double standards. I think it’s absolutely crass to do it for a wedding yet I’m always shouted down on here. Yet it’s not acceptable for the arrival of a baby? What’s the difference?

I would understand if the message said you really don’t need to bring anything and we aren’t expecting anything, but if you really want to give a gift we’d prefer money to put aside for baby’s future.

The way it’s written sounds like you have to give a cash gift?

A wedding is different because it is customary to give gifts, and most couples don’t need items to help them start a home because many live together before they’re married. Wedding registries are now redundant for the most part.

Are they selling the baby at the end of it?🤣

Seems incredibly obvious to me this is exactly what they meant but didn't word it clearly enough

Open day, just really odd. Never heard of anything like it irl before. I agree about the asking for money. I think it's better to state no gifts really but then I have always disliked asking for gifts, cash or otherwise.

Will they have someone at the door taking a minimum of €50 per head for a glimpse of the messiah? Will you file past & out the back door?

I wouldn’t be friends with people who thought this was remotely normal behaviour.

I bet even their family members are 🙄 - especially the ones with children themselves…

Bids in envelopes tucked under the mattress of the Moses basket?

It’s the bit about ‘we kindly ask’ that gets me. Do they think they’re doing their guests a favour?

Absolutely bonkers.

I would join the queue and bring gold, frankincense and myrrh....

Its a great idea having an open day far less stressful than zillions of visits.

They've badly worded it. You are under no obligation to give anything butbthey are telling you that that clothes etc would be a huge waste. Be kind. They're new exhausted parents.

I think (hope) what she’s trying to say is that you don’t need to bring anything, but that if you do want to bring something for the baby, which most people do when visiting a newborn, to just bring money rather than toy/clothes which they have enough of.

I think it’s phrased badly but not an awful thing to say if intended the way I think it is.

My daughter is 6 months old now and we could have done with something like this when she as born as we ended up with loads of newborn clothes that never even were worn as she grew too quickly.

She sounds unhinged! She’s had a baby, not the messiah! And also you can never have enough clothes with a newborn they literally shit and piss over about 5/6 outfits a day

Hahaha!

Put a tenner in a card! Grabby idiots

I wonder if people will have to sign in 😂?

I would assume it means you don't have to bring a present, but if you would like to give something, they'd prefer cash. I see that as practical rather than cheeky.

What a fantastic idea! God I hope there’s jugglers and morris dancers and the baby is displayed high up on a plinth. Think they should have qr codes dotted around to make donations easier too 👍🏼

I think they are selling raffle tickets!

I think an "open day" sounds practical. Asking for no presents likewise.

Mentioning money - eek! 😱If they actually do end up mortified, it would be a kindness to allow them to never mention it again.

It's worth saying, though, that not all personalised/ keepsake presents are welcome. Sometime none are. Sorry.

I wondered this too! I bet she did