To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

It’s so weird and starts really young as well with parents boasting about how tall their children are! How ridiculous, as if it’s something the child has achieved. I find it so boring, and shallow (I have one child who is tall for his age and one who is short, neither of them measure their self worth by their height!). My husband is average height but says he would love to be taller as he feels life is easier for taller men, which makes me sad.

A lot of women prefer taller men. I'm one of them. I'd feel embarrassed to wear heels if we went out.

Remember when Katie Holmes married Tom Cruise? Every magazine mentioned how much taller she was and loads of their wedding photos were on a staircase where he was magically taller.

Tom Cruise is below average height. Short men have always had a stigma.

The idea you have to be over 6 foot is very much a recent thing stirred up online.

@JHound Normal isn't the word.. just that theres more than one deluded weirdo around.

This! Very good post.

if there are men who won't like me...so? I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Not all men like tall blondes. I'm a tiny brunette who is grey and won't dye, I'm also tattooed with short hair and wear glasses.

There'll be men and women (I'm bisexual) who dont like me. I'm fine with that. The screaming over women sticking to preferences is insane.

For a sideline, I like curvy women with long hair. Small in height. Does that make me bad like wanting a tall man?!

Important things women can learn from this thread:

1, Making a change from the usual, there are those posters that are mad about you not wanting their man.

2, Don’t be so superficial as to filter by height, ladies, as you may miss out on a rich one.

Yes, it seems their man is so perfect we should all give up our (tall) partner because obviously that's just shallow. And we should all swoon over the notion of one short man.

Wonder what pp would post if that were the case. 🤣

I’ve always been a bit the opposite. My husband is 5’4”, tall men make me nervous for some reason. Also I think they’d take a lot of feeding, their trousers don’t fit on the ironing board..

My exDH was 6'2"..I feel more feminine with tall men.

I've joined a dating site - it's called Carbon Dating..

My only stipulation is that they can't be shorter than me, but I'd like someone who could match my height in my tallest of heels (and I go up to 5ft10 or 11 in them)

But it's not something I really think about. The last guy I was seeing was 6ft. My ex was 5ft10.

Remember when Katie Holmes married Tom Cruise? Every magazine mentioned how much taller she was and loads of their wedding photos were on a staircase where he was magically taller.

I think it was Nicole Kidman, but yes I remember that.

I'd be interested to know OP's response to this.

In my experience it's gone the opposite way. I'm 5 foot 10 and growing up people used to wang on about me needing to find someone tall. I'm now 48, married to a man of 5 foot 8 and it barely gets a mention

One short man that we’re assured can be just as good at, checks notes, domestic violence as a tall one.

Form an orderly queue!

Well, you're talking to the wrong person here because I don't think it's OK to pile on to either short men or overweight women. Or to pile on to anyone because of how they look, in fact.

I just find your stance a tad hypocritical as you're aware of possessing a trait not all women go for, but are only interested in slim women. Obviously we're all entitled to our preferences, but you don't seem to acknowledge there's a disparity between how you feel about yourself and about what you want in a woman.

Exactly! Men have lots of physical preferences - I am quite sure I wont be attractive to many men and that's fine, I only want a partner that IS attracted to me- who wouldnt want that? I dont want someone to date me out of pity or to try really, really hard to find me attractive because thats a huge turn off to me.

I've yet to see a man berate another man over their physical dating preferences saying "come on mate, give her a chance, she has a great personality!".

It doesnt happen.

So why the fck are we doing it?

Well I deliberately took a hypocritical stance to try to show that preferences about weight seem to elicit much stronger responses, and would be frowned on as insensitive if there was a thread about it. Also, as we all know, height is generally a result of genetics, whereas people do have some control over weight. Imagine this thread was about other genetic factors like skin colour? Would everyone keep stating their sexual preferences for light or dark skinned people? Maybe throw in some hokum evolutionary rationale for why they have that preference. Perhaps people do write that in their OLD profiles, no idea. Can’t deny people can have preferences, but some attributes are OK to discuss, but others apparently not.

This may surprise you but people already do. Many things concerning looks are genetic. Men put on their dating profiles what kind of women (white, black Asian) they want to or do not want to date.

Watch with caution.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIAQrZf8m-ofVYzbJ7V2EbIMItbAIphT

Love tall men too despite being short. I think it's fine if someone has a preference for tall men or short women - if they're okay with filtering out a lot of decent folk who don't fit this criterion. I'm certain I'm not everyone's cup of tea, especially since I've gained some weight after two pregnancies. Fine with me if I'm overlooked because I'm too chubby for them. 🤷‍♀️ I know height is genetic and you can't change it like weight but so are looks genetic - yet plenty of people will turn someone down because they find them unattractive, even if they make up an excuse about having little in common or something.

I do wonder why so many women are soooo desperate for a 'tall man.'

Even one of my friends who is 5 ft 7 said her husband HAD to be 6 ft 2 or over. She didn't care if he wasn't very good looking, as long as he was at least 6 inches taller than her. Odd.

Probably the very same reason men insist on dating much younger women - its viewed as a status thing because its desired by societal messages.

I read a line in a novel* which reminded me of this thread

”I liked how tall he was, sure, but I liked more that it was a quality others valued.”

Mace me wonder if there is a trophy thing going on with some women who only date tall men. That they want a man other women think is desirable.

*Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll.

It's definitely not a modern thing... my 77yo mum goes on and on about it... she's 5'0" and my dad 6'... and her mum used always comment on height... especially as there are many short men in the family... so men around 5'3"... and when I started dating my DH 35 years ago (he's 5'4")... there was all the associated gloatingfrom her because he was taller than a much disliked cousin 🙄

I've yet to see a man berate another man over their physical dating preferences saying "come on mate, give her a chance, she has a great personality!".
It doesnt happen.

This is so true!

Is it? Society dictates that women have a tall man?

I must have missed that memo.