To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

Hmmm. I’m tall and I know my height and I probably wouldn’t be attracted to someone shorter than me.
im sure it would be possible to be attracted to someone shorter but I’d prefer not to be 😂

This isn’t new! I’ve been married to my DH for over 20 years and when told that he fancied me I did comment on him being short! He is still taller than me but not by much. Of course I realised quickly that I had to give him a chance but I can see why people think height is important.

At 4ft 11 inches all men are tall - even those at 5 ft 6ins.

When I was at uni (20 years ago), I had a friend who was what she considered too tall for a girl - around 6ft 2. I am 5ft 2 so always had a nightmare going out with her because if she didn’t see anyone remotely “tall” she’d go home straight away and everyone make me feel guilty for being short and able to “have any man I wanted”. Not true. Always thought she was mad. Loads of blokes who were lovely and would have been a great match for her

She probably felt too mannish and ungainly around them. I am 5ft 8 and have had that feeling a few times with exes. Not a nice feeling.

It’s not either / or. A lot of women who want tall men also place those things high on the list. A friend of mine won’t date men shorter than her (she is 6ft 1) and also highly values all the things you mentioned. She has been in a loving committed relationship for 7 years now.

No - it just means they find it hard to have intimate partnerships with people they are not attracted to.

I actually used to feel insecure about my height (5'3) and I wanted a man that was only a few inches taller. Honestly, never thought about getting a man shorter than me because there wouldn't have been very many. But if I am being honest, I would not find them attractive.

I ended up marrying someone who is over 6 foot but I would've been perfectly happy with 5'6 or taller I think. Even a little less if I truly loved them. Height hasn't ever been a huge factor really but I won't lie and say I don't think about.

But also you definitely do not have to be over 6 foot to be attractive, that is insane.

Although I never used to like the comments people made about DH and mine's height difference even though nobody does anymore. Silly things from tall women saying you should leave the tall men for us! And they were all bloody gorgeous as well but there was just no need.

Considering most women are shorter than 5ft 9 it suggests your DP also has a height preference he is acting on.

You are definitely correct. The number of women, globally, who would dump a man for being 5ft 10 instead of 5ft 11 could all stand together on a door mat. It’s not a thing that happens.

Why is it baffling? We have no control over what we find attractive in a sexual partner.

If your "friend" told you that he turned down a woman because she wasnt pretty enough, would you then also come here acting all baffled?
Or do you allow men to have their preferences?

This.

It’s baffling to me that women get all het up at women having superficial dating criteria as if men don’t.
Men are highly superficial but they won’t be gathered around on a website berating other men for not giving a “nice woman a chance” just because he finds her unattractive.

I doubt the posts i keep seeing on mumsnet bemoaning women wanting tall men are written by women.

This is true. Men get outraged at women having physical preferences while defending immensely men’s right to hold their own.

2 teens in the house ….. height is a MAJOR obsession. It’s all they and their male and female friends talk about! Girls love tall boys and boys all want to be tall. Totally crazy.

Height has always been a factor, it's just reality.

What's different is the arbitrary 6 foot plus requirements that OLD has brought in. It already screens out the majority of men at a stroke.

In reality whether someone is 5 foot 10 or 6 foot isn't really that important, for a woman that is several inches shorter than that anyway, generally speaking (for some it might). Which man she prefers will depend on other factors than the 1 inch or 2 height difference.

A lot of young men today opting out of dating altogether if they aren't 6 foot, or just left on the shelf, at least OLD. Others will just lie about their height.

What a weird age cut off when they are so much older 😂

I’m tall and the few long-term partners i had were sort of my height. Except one who was very tall. Liked being able to wear bit of a heel and not tower over him. Wore ballet pumps at wedding to marry one of the shorter ones. It’s not a critical issue. Just something we’re brain-washed into. Man Big! Woman bigger - no!!

To be quite Frank this is incel babble. Most women are not refusing to date men under 6 foot on OLD. They really are not. It maybe the small subset of young beautiful women you exclusively want to be with but it’s not most women online.

And even if women were doing that…so?

It impacts those women and those women alone. Personally I would have no issue men with men filtering me out if they find me unattractive. Why waste time with men who won’t be physically attracted to me?

A lot of older men online refuse to date women their age. It’s fairly normal.

I agree that your friend is being ridiculous if she’s actually going to find love,

It’s not a modern thing at all. I’m nearly 60 and always been attracted to talk, well built men. I’m 5’6 and I wouldn’t be attracted to a short slight man.

Everyone has a preference and most women do want a man taller than them

I saw one recently who was 65 and looked every minute of his age and yet only wanted a woman under 50 who was no bigger than a size 10 and at least an 8 in terms of looks.

Bless his deluded little heart

Many years ago I married a man who was only 5'6", whilst I was 5'11½".
In the early years he was pleasant enough but we did get a lot of weird looks and comments because of our height difference.
We did eventually divorce for other serious reasons.
Call me shallow, or narrow- minded, I don't care, but these days, I won't even look at anyone who's the same height or shorter than me.