Not to go to my husband’s friend’s 40th birthday staycation? Trip is paid for me and his mum extra hotel room

[MumDaisy1980]

It’s me again! (For those who have been following the Las Vegas thread, ha)

it’s mid week and husband and I are not in a good state. We had a fight. We have a 6 month old baby.

this Saturday meant to go to this couple staycation for his mate 40th . I never said yes to it but the organiser need firm number so my husband just sign both us up. In terms of childcare, he is paying his mum to come along. So we will be going for dinner and mil to look after baby for few hours.

I have no mood to pack as in I am the one packing for the baby also. It is pretty by default kind of act.

my concern is if we not resolved for this small fight, I donno if I should go or not. Though bigger picture is as a wife I see this is important to him , this is like his best mate , so i would want to go for the sake of support him. It’s like a one off event. But deep inside and I am being short sighted I don’t want to go. I feel like he had not taken my feelings into account. Besides it’s bizzare his mate wife organise another pre drink tomorrow and my husband did say will got for a quick one (before we had a fight - I already told him I don’t think it’s good idea for him to go and he asked me why!!!)

on the other hand , becoz MIL is coming so if I don’t go - this May then spiral to MiL as in to find out why I don’t go. Or she may contact me to ‘care’ about me. At this stage I really don’t want anyone else to step into the matter between husband and me. The thought of all these I feel very heavy. I got a headache.

if I pretend everything is fine, in fact it’s not. Then I guarantee I will cry in the weekend and look super embarrassed!!

asking out loud - what should I do??? :’(

If it’s a small fight, why aren’t you over it by now? Do you often spend days arguing over something small?

And why did you say he shouldn’t go for a quick drink tomorrow?

IT'S NOT A STAYCATION IF YOU'RE GOING ON HOLIDAY!!!!!

Why are you continuing an "argument " over days and days instead of resolving an issue like a mature adult.

i dont want to make plans next month because he left the top off the toothpaste back in March?

You're not 12. Sort the problem out and get on with life like adults, it's important to one of you, and you're married. Stop being an arse and sort out the problem. Or fk it all off and LTB.

You sound like hard work. What's your husband done that's upset you?

Would be unusual for a fight on Wed not to be resolved by Sat. Mil has given up her time, birthday person is expecting us. Unless we were seriously considering splitting up night out would go ahead.

What's a 40th staycation?

Can someone translate this into English please

Another thread on your dead in the water marriage? Can't you stick to one thread and just update all the pettiness in one place?

It depends on what the might was about and how serious?
But life is so so hard with a 6 month old. You are both severely sleep deprived. Things will get better I’m sure. I wouldn’t encourage cancelling now unless you really want to rock the boat and th me fight was very serious.
If you are just too tired from the baby, then maybe stay home and say the baby is ill?

Your husband is paying his Mum for a one off babysitting. You are not allowing him out for drinks. Why are you packing if MIL is coming to you.

Not the point of the thread, but surely a staycation is where you don’t leave the country, not one where you stay in your own home?

Apparently it’s when you stay at home and go for days out. Quite why the incorrect use of this word elicits so much ire is beyond me!

@SwingTheMonkey thank you for clarifying!

Agreed.

And packing for one adult and one baby is not a huge deal.

No, that’s just a domestic holiday rather than abroad.

A Staycation is where you sleep at home each night but have days out as if you were on holiday.

Did you have a fight (as in physical) or an argument OP?

Thanks. It’s not physical.

Thank you

Thank you.

I think you should go. And control the crying. You are sleep deprived but you also have help and support from MIL and husband who has booked a whole extra room for his Mum to come and help. Put on your big girl pants and say, "I can do this and I will find times every day when I'm having fun." If you are genuinely depressed and can find no enjoyment in anything then you need to go to the doctor and ask for some help.

Thank you. @PrincessOfPreschool

Is it a "small fight" or not?

I think you should try to get past whatever you're arguing about and enjoy the holiday.

I’d like to know too. And a staycation where you book a hotel? Isn’t the purpose of staycation NOT booking a hotel and travel?

I thought a staycation was where you stay in accommodation in your home town and sight see as if you are travelling