Not to go to my husband’s friend’s 40th birthday staycation? Trip is paid for me and his mum extra hotel room

[MumDaisy1980]

It’s me again! (For those who have been following the Las Vegas thread, ha)

it’s mid week and husband and I are not in a good state. We had a fight. We have a 6 month old baby.

this Saturday meant to go to this couple staycation for his mate 40th . I never said yes to it but the organiser need firm number so my husband just sign both us up. In terms of childcare, he is paying his mum to come along. So we will be going for dinner and mil to look after baby for few hours.

I have no mood to pack as in I am the one packing for the baby also. It is pretty by default kind of act.

my concern is if we not resolved for this small fight, I donno if I should go or not. Though bigger picture is as a wife I see this is important to him , this is like his best mate , so i would want to go for the sake of support him. It’s like a one off event. But deep inside and I am being short sighted I don’t want to go. I feel like he had not taken my feelings into account. Besides it’s bizzare his mate wife organise another pre drink tomorrow and my husband did say will got for a quick one (before we had a fight - I already told him I don’t think it’s good idea for him to go and he asked me why!!!)

on the other hand , becoz MIL is coming so if I don’t go - this May then spiral to MiL as in to find out why I don’t go. Or she may contact me to ‘care’ about me. At this stage I really don’t want anyone else to step into the matter between husband and me. The thought of all these I feel very heavy. I got a headache.

if I pretend everything is fine, in fact it’s not. Then I guarantee I will cry in the weekend and look super embarrassed!!

asking out loud - what should I do??? :’(

The poster has apparently posted about her marriage on other posts before. I've not read them so can only comment on this post.

But imagine the reaction if she come.on to say that her husband had refused to talk to her or look at her following a disagreement and was intending to carry this on for a full week?!

You should stop posting about every single situation and how awful he is and just leave him - that would be my advice

This from the previous thread the husband took paternity leave to go to a holiday in Vegas and offers no support for the baby at all leaving his wife on the verge of a breakdown.

Now he wants her to basically show up and act like everything is fine when it isn’t - moving on isn’t forgetting the argument it is taking something from it and at this point neither have.

moving on isn’t just something you can do it isn’t something you can make happen either if everything is just the same as before which is her having to adapt around him and the baby rather than working it out together

I have as I thought i was going mad, they agree with me!!

I'm answering based on this post, I've never read her others

But as someone else said, she posts every single problem on here, and should just make plans to leave.

She's now ignoring him and intends to for a week, it's not healthy at all

No it isn’t but moving on when you haven’t is ignoring the issues as well

but yes they either need to work on it together or break up going on a weekend away isn’t going to help

So you are correct and your friends.

Everyone on this post, the majority of people in the world, the Oxford English Dictionary and the Collins dictionary are a wrong when they say travelling from one place to another in the same country isn't travelling abroad?

1. Go on the "staycation" or whatever the hell it is
2. When you get back LTB because it's obviously not working

thann you.

been 10 years married for 5. Yes our first.

yes that’s what I felt , his life pretty much the same (no night shift for the baby) and I changed of course.

I don’t know how to translate his responsibilities. Though he feel very tough already apparently.

So you'd tell people you were going abroad. When they ask where, you'd say Norfolk. Honestly?
I understand that is one correct definition of abroad but I've never known anyone to use it.
Reminds me of the old Blackadder gag. "There are two schools of thought. Everyone else says yes, I say no"

I feel for the OP and posting here (I haven’t read other threads either) indicates she’s not being heard and feels stuck. She does I think recognise that she’s on a negative path and doesn’t like decisions are made without her, but to ‘move forward’ something has to give, and right now she can’t even look at him because her frustration is so great. What’s he doing to ‘move forward’ in a consultative way?

While it's a 'couples' things, surely the couple can just be two people acting out the part? So given his mother is going to be there anyway, can you stay home and they do the activity?

I do think counseling would be a good idea for you both - it's much better to get it before you are at the terminal stage, as it's much easier to repair a cracked relationship than a fully broken one.

(As an aside, I recently had what I thought was a staycation - I slept in my own bed every night. But one day I did a day trip to a different country - first flight there, last flight back. Does the fact that I went abroad mean it's no longer a staycation? Eeep!)

You and your friends must be in the 0.1%! If someone told me they were going on holiday abroad and then it turned out they’d been to the New Forest I’d think they had gone mad/ were a pathological liar! Did you ask your friends something along the lines of “if I said I was going on holiday abroad would you assume I meant Portugal or Poole”?

(As an aside, I recently had what I thought was a staycation - I slept in my own bed every night. But one day I did a day trip to a different country - first flight there, last flight back. Does the fact that I went abroad mean it's no longer a staycation? Eeep!)

I’d say a staycation (because you were in your own bed every night), but with a day trip abroad.

But going on the purist (or, if we’re being mean, old fashioned) definition of abroad (“away from one’s home”) you could say the same thing if you’d spent the day in the big Tesco or been in hospital having your ear syringed so 🤷

A bit late to the thread - but this exactly. We hardly ever go to other countries because we can't afford it, we still have holidays!

No, staying somewhere away from your home in your home country is a holiday, albeit a domestic one.

A staycation is booking annual leave from work but staying at your own home.

Translate his responsibilities? Do you mean tell him what he needs to do now?

I'm assuming English isn't your first language, is it your Husbands?

Is there a cultural difference that's expected of you and he's expecting thus of you and you don't want that?

That would be an Extreme Day Trip! Are you on the Facebook group for them?!

But there's a difference between going on the holiday in the UK and calling it a holiday, which it absolutely is, and calling it going abroad, which it absolutely isn't, despite a poster on here saying a night in London means I've travelled abroad!

I'm in one for my area, although I only found out about it after I had planned this trip.

The fact remains, that the term 'abroad' still means away from your home
If people read books they would realise that language has origins

It's on my list to plan one for next year, though some of them seem insane though!

Abroad can mean away from home, that's correct. Eg the seeds were scattered abroad means the seeds travelled far and wide. It's a noun.

Abroad in terms of a holiday means you've left the country you live in. It's an adverb.

It's ironic your insistent that people aren't aware of the origin of languages when you're unable to differentiate between Abroad being used in different ways and think the word only has one meaning and that's anything involving leaving your home and travelling means going Abroad.

I'm staying at my Inlaws overnight tomorrow night, they live half hour away. We are not travelling Abroad to get there as I'm in the same country.

I have not said it cannot be used ro mean overseas at all. Merely trying to explain to the pp, that it can have 2 meanings

OP didn’t say what country she lives in though so it may be a staycation for them, a staycation you holiday in your own country