Do all men cheat?

[yungnluv]

I found out my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me a year ago and I genuinely mean this wholeheartedly it's the last thing in the world I thought he'd ever do to me. He was mad about me, adored the ground I walked on, showed he loved me everyday, he talked about marrying me every single day and starting a family. Talked about growing grey and old together. He would cry because he loved me so much. Would regularly bring me flowers , plan date nights and he genuinely made me feel like the most loved girl in the world the whole 6 years.

When I found out, shocked wasn't even the word.

And I'm sure there's women out there now who would say "my husband would never ever do that to me" and this is scary because I said the exact same thing.

It's an awful question but do most men cheat? Why do they cheat? Have you been cheated on before?

Disgusting. Ruins life's and family's. 💔

No they don't.

I've been married 3 times. 1st DH cheated. No 2 was too lazy to bother. DH3 my lovely & forever DH would NEVER cheat. His 1st wife cheated twice & he divorced her on 2nd cheating. His late DW never cheated, but, unfortunately died with dementia aged 63. I know in my soul that my DH would NEVER cheat on me - it's not in his DNA.

No they don't but you really can't assume which ones won't.

I don’t believe so.
I can only base that on the trust I have in the men around me.

I'm sorry that happened. I don't think the level of infatuation you are describing in terms of his behaviour is normal. It sounds like he was addicted to limerance which is the honeymoon phase of the relationship. And that is what you also get with an affair. My DH - I don't think he would ever cheat. I can never say never as I do wonder if he'd be tempted. But he certainly hasn't cheated in the last 15 years.

No. Same as women. Some do, some don't.

More than a few men go their entire life without the slightest opportunity to cheat, attractive to no one but their partners (if they're lucky) so no, not all will cheat because for many the chance would be a fine thing.

The only reason some men don't cheat is because they're too ugly?! Even for MN, that's cynical!

Based on 20 years working in massive offices… you can never predict who will cheat. The flirty ones are the ones who cheat less. The old adage of always the quiet ones - that’s certainly true in investment banking.

Availability is a massive factor. The long working hours means they can effectively have daytime affairs as they’re only home for 6 hours a day

You only have to look at the list of who comes in on what days since the advent of flexible working…

Nah, of course they don't.

I had an affair, but not all women cheat either.

My ex-husband to the best of my knowledge (who can ever be sure) never cheated on me or any other previous partners.

No, not all men cheat. But I reckon 99% would if there was absolutely zero chance of getting caught.

Cheating isn't a genetic condition and people change. No one can say their partner wouldn't cheat.

My husband cheated and like you I never thought he would. I was just so so shocked. My friends and family are shocked because it was so out of character. I honestly never thought he was the type to cheat.

The worst part is that when we met I had huge trust issues due to past bad experiences with men. He built up that trust over the years and let me trust him. He was my safe person. Then he cheated. It’s blown my world apart. I feel so deceived. It’s like a weight in my chest that doesn’t ever go.

I think more people would cheat if they knew they could 100% get away with it. Never assume you’re safe.

I don't think that would be the case at all.

I agree. Crying because you love someone so much isn’t normal. Long term relationships aren’t all roses and excitement and it sounds like he expected it to be.

I don’t think for a second that all men cheat. I don’t think my dh would cheat. That doesn’t mean he won’t but I trust him not to.

I didn't say it was the only reason. The OP asked if they all cheat, I'm just saying no and giving one good reason for it. I'm sure there may be other reasons, but none that carry the same level of certainty!

To be fair I don't think the behaviour you've described is normal in a relationship.. feeling guilty perhaps?

Maybe I've just gone out with crappy men, but I've been single a long time.

But, in my experience yes, time and opportunity. XH cheated, that was utterly devastating because i would have honestly bet my life he wouldnt. One before that swapped number with a girl he met (no doubt would have gone further had I not accidentally found out) and the one before that went running off to "emotionally support" an Ex after she broke up with her bf.

There are some men ive met that I would say theyd said never cheat, but I'd of put my XH in that group as well, soooooo I'm somewhat cynical

No.

Well it can hardly be just a man problem can it? Unless there are huge male orgies going on all over the place.

I'm sorry for what happened OP but please don't lose your faith. There are and always will be some good people out there.

I think anyone can cheat. If you think your partner won’t then that’s naive. You’ll never fully know anyone.

Do all men cheat though? Obviously not. Majority do. I worked in a team of 20ish and there were 6 men and I know at least 4 of them had cheated on their partners.

No.

I don't think all men cheat, but the older and more cynical (or worldly) I get makes me think that a lot more men cheat that I initially thought.

My DH had an affair and I never, ever thought he would - just didn't seem the type. I keep an open mind these days.

I never ever thought my EH would cheat, everyone said we had the ideal marriage and I actually thought we did too. He knew all my vulnerabilities and became the very person I was afraid of. I never ever thought he would do this to me. Very nearly broke me at the time, totally unforgivable entitled selfish behaviour. We're divorced now but I'll never completely trust any man again.