Do all men cheat?

[yungnluv]

I found out my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me a year ago and I genuinely mean this wholeheartedly it's the last thing in the world I thought he'd ever do to me. He was mad about me, adored the ground I walked on, showed he loved me everyday, he talked about marrying me every single day and starting a family. Talked about growing grey and old together. He would cry because he loved me so much. Would regularly bring me flowers , plan date nights and he genuinely made me feel like the most loved girl in the world the whole 6 years.

When I found out, shocked wasn't even the word.

And I'm sure there's women out there now who would say "my husband would never ever do that to me" and this is scary because I said the exact same thing.

It's an awful question but do most men cheat? Why do they cheat? Have you been cheated on before?

Disgusting. Ruins life's and family's. 💔

I'm sure my DH has never cheated on me. He takes his marriage vows very seriously.

Well yes, I was single before I got married, so I understand the concept. Not every man is married either. But not all women or men that people cheat with are single and from my limited experience of people I know and the threads on here, most are in a relationship. How many threads start with ‘shall I tell the OW’s husband’ or similar.

I don’t think all women and all men think like a homogeneous mass. Some people cheat, some don’t, some cheat and never cheat again, some always cheat. It’s completely down to the person. I don’t believe that all married men cheat with single women though - that doesn’t make sense statistically.

Agreed. It all sounds a bit OTT. He sounds like he was doing all the cliched lover stuff, but maybe he was covering up something.

I think they cheat because some of them keep their brains in their trousers.

But the patterns don't hold true across different societies and different periods of time (reading up on matriarchal societies is very eye-opening). They don't even really hold true within our own patriarchal-conditioned society - it's just that men and women who don't fit those patterns are considered exceptions at best, deviants at worst. (Where do lesbians and gay men fit into those patterns?) The patterns - which are just gender stereotypes when it comes down to it - feel more like boxes to keep us in our lanes. I don't consider them useful to actually apply to real life or individual people.

In my experience, people that are over the top/obsessive in relationships are more likely to be emotionally immature. And I would argue that people that are emotionally immature are more likely to cheat.

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that him being over the top “in love” (rather, lust) with you was because he was feeling guilty as others have suggested. But I do agree that it isn’t a good sign if someone treats you like that.

I remember having a relationship like that, but then I was 15.

In answer to your click bait title, of course not all men cheat.

Respectfully, and he may well not have cheated, but it’s literally impossible for you to know this.

Someone telling you they take their vows seriously is someone who wants people to know he takes his vows seriously. It’s not verifiable proof.

I am absolutely not insinuating anything about your husband but I never understood why people make themselves a hostage to fortune by saying their OH would “never” cheat. By definition they can’t know.

Who do men cheat with? How come more men cheat than women on stats? Or is it a survey issue?Are the excess men all stag do type paid cheaters?

I’ve just found out this week my late husband was cheating for the last 3 years of our marriage. I never thought he would do this and he even said he would never jeopardise his family for that but he still did as he had opportunities whilst working away and took them. I never suspected a thing and he was very much a devoted family man. I would never have found out if he hadn’t died suddenly and then I discovered the messages on his phone. Before I was married my previous boyfriend also cheated. I would find it hard to trust again and to trust my own judgment of someone as it seems from the responses on this thread to be quite common

Yes, I can't really imagine a situation where I'd know how seriously DH takes his vows. I mean, I know from what I know of his actions that he appears to, but if he was to start telling me how important they are to him, I'd see that as something of a red flag!

Using escorts is definitely cheating in my book

It's well known that men talk up their sex life and women do the opposite. So statistics are unreliable. They only tell us how many men and women admit to cheating, not how many actually cheat. Men are much more likely to admit to cheating, even in an anonymous survey, then women.

In answer to the OP, no, not all men cheat. Many do, and many would do so if the opportunity arose and they thought they could get away with it. But so would many women. And there's no way of knowing if your partner would be able to resist temptation or not. Everyone is capable of cheating.

IME, which has been good, lots of men don't cheat. More than that, they take pride in their fidelity. My DF, who died a couple of years back after 67 years of marriage, made it clear that my DM was everything to him. My late DH used to call me "girl of his dreams" and he meant it. I think i must've looked for a man as devoted as my dad.

The older I get the more I appreciate the privilege of a strong, stable family

Different people class different things as cheating though. Some people are comfortable with their partner having good friends of the opposite sex. Others consider that an emotional affair and cheating. Some would be happy for their partner to dance with someone others would ltb. So you may class someone as cheating but their partner doesn't consider it cheating.

That’s so true. For me cheating is having sex with someone else. Some of the definitions here amuse me.

So op did your father, brother, uncles, cousins etc. Has every one of them cheated?

Both. Women also cheat of course but in my experience, less. I think that most of the time when women cheat, it’s because of an unmet need and because they’re unhappy in their main relationship. I’ve found that men will cheat on a woman they have no intention of leaving just because the opportunity is available to them. I think women are less that way inclined.

As a man, posting anonymously: no, we don't all cheat. Don't accept it, it's not something that just goes with masculinity.

My dh is a pilot. I’ve received funny comments insinuating I must be brave being with someone with so many opportunities to cheat.

The thing is Dh is reserved, geeky and would much prefer being at home with the dogs. He’s had 3 girlfriends in his whole life. And is on the more introverted and anti social side. I have to beg him to go to the pub with mates.

If dh cheated I would be EXTREMELY shocked.

This is true. In some respects close emotional intimacy with someone else without sex can be more hurtful than sex without emotion.

I don’t think I could forgive either to be honest. I don’t see the point of forgiving someone this. No one is so great that accepting the fact they have deceived you is better than being alone.