Do all men cheat?

[yungnluv]

I found out my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me a year ago and I genuinely mean this wholeheartedly it's the last thing in the world I thought he'd ever do to me. He was mad about me, adored the ground I walked on, showed he loved me everyday, he talked about marrying me every single day and starting a family. Talked about growing grey and old together. He would cry because he loved me so much. Would regularly bring me flowers , plan date nights and he genuinely made me feel like the most loved girl in the world the whole 6 years.

When I found out, shocked wasn't even the word.

And I'm sure there's women out there now who would say "my husband would never ever do that to me" and this is scary because I said the exact same thing.

It's an awful question but do most men cheat? Why do they cheat? Have you been cheated on before?

Disgusting. Ruins life's and family's. 💔

Not everyone fits behaviour patterns, no. But being patterns they can give us some indication of risk, so can be useful from that perspective.
I think its fair to say that the average heterosexual woman will recieve more offers of sex than the average heterosexual man. I also think its correct to say that the average heterosexual man will have made more approaches to instigate sex than the average heterosexual woman.
From this we can extrapolate that the risk of a woman going out on the town having the opportunity to take up an offer of sex would be higher than for her male counterpart. Equally the chances of a man making an approach for sex will be higher than of a woman doing the same. Obviously this doesn't mean all men will be chasing affairs while all women will be fending off a queue, but if we're talking of risk and likelihood in a general way, behaviour patterns are relevant.

When I think about it I probably know more women than men that have had affairs but that could just be because the men are keeping quiet about them. However the 2 most promiscuous people I know that seem to cheat in all their relationships are both gay men.

No, but enough of them do so that it's a problem.

It’s only a problem if you’re in a relationship with one.

My ex cheated on me he was messaging her while i was on holiday in June we was together 7yrs i had a gut feeling something was up as was being very precious about his phone and he was acting a bit different! Weird thing is when i look back i was the one being accused or if anyone was going to do it he said it would be me !
I would never of cheated on him at all
I personally think most men will cheat some go out and look others i think if opportunity rises yes even if its a snog and fumble !

I’d say it’s a bigger problem than that. If a large number of women believe their husbands are incapable of cheating on them and a large number of men are capable of cheating there is a bit of an expectation gap.

But I don’t think life long monogamy is right for the majority of people. It’s suits some for life and a much larger group for a season but I think our expectation that most people will remain happy and sexually faithful for 50-60 years is wildly unrealistic.

You very rarely hear of 50/60 year marriages any more. Between people not bothering with marriage at all, divorcing at the first hurdle and marrying later, the diamond wedding anniversary will soon be obsolete. My parents were married for 64 years and I’m as certain as I can be that there was no infidelity.

Indeed. Not an altogether bad thing in my opinion.

Every body has the capability to cheat and many make the choice to do so but not all. It's just impossible to tell exactly which ones won't

I disagree. I think it’s quite sad.

It’s usually sad when a previously cherished marriage fails, particularly when children are involved.

Bur the reason marriage rates have declined in part reflects the fact that being married was pretty much obligatory until about 40 years ago. A lot of people did it because it waa expected of them rather than because they really wanted to.

Marriage also increasingly makes less financial sense for women these days so it isn’t the goal it was back then.

So overall it’s neutral rather than a negative.

If a large number of women believe their husbands are incapable of cheating on them and a large number of men are capable of cheating there is a bit of an expectation gap.

Everyone is capable of cheating.

And everyone is capable of being faithful.

Mine did. Spent half our lives together. Clearly meant nothing to him. Honestly thought he'd never do such a thing. Guess you never really know.....

I think lots of people have the potential to.
tbh the way you describe your partner being so over the top loving towards you - I would think he is someone led by his feelings and emotions (and what’s between his legs) and think men like that are more high risk for cheating and getting carried away, rather than the more dependable ones who might be less exciting in the early stages but more mature and led by morals rather than feelings.

Isn't it up to women to use their brains?

Never thought mine would. And it turned out he was a serial cheat leading a double life. He seemed to compartmentalise his life at work away from home and his home life.

It's a choice isn't it? All the time it is a choice. For men and for women.

A lot of the time lots of people make bad choices, and you see that with all sorts of things, not just with betraying trust in a relationship by cheating.

But lots of people make the right choices too.

Today I made some good choices. And the big bar of Cadbury's caramel was a bad choice.

Every day I make the right choice to recommit myself to my OH. And I hope I will continue to do so.

I don’t think so. My DH hasn’t, to my knowledge. My close friend used to tell me when we were much youngrr that most men do/will cheat, even though she’s been in a happy marriage for as long as I have. No cheating from her DH either. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The chances in the future might be better. I saw this great graph on twitter recently, and it shows that divorce rates for marriages since 1995 have been falling - possibly because fewer people are getting married, and so are more likely to stay married.

The other thing the graph shows is that the rate of divorce really does decline as the length of the marriage increases. So it does suggest that failure isn't inevitable, and that your marriage is more likely to last the longer it's already lasted - which should be obvious, but is contrary to the opinion that it's an unnatural state.

No, of course not, but I agree it can feel like it when you've been treated that way by someone you thought was different,or multiple partners.
I was cheated on various times when younger, including by 2 longer term (2yrs each) partners.
Looking back they were idiots, but they could lay it on thick with the compliments, gifts, wooing me in various ways.....it's easy to think all that is genuine but actually too much of this in certain circumstances can also be a real red flag and actually signal them trying to make themselves feel less guilty and you less suspicious!

My DH has always been very devoted and doting, but not in an OTT, I've got something to prove sort of way.
Whilst I struggled alot with insecurities at the start of the relationship, I have no doubt whatsoever now that he is faithful, and when I used to at the start I would make myself feel better by thinking that not all girls cheat (I'm one of them) so I can't go round assuming all men will cheat either....although I get there is definitely a higher statistic there!

He would cry because he loved me so much

Thats’s just strange behaviour.

I would say it's pretty evenly split between men and women.

This is interesting:

https://discreetinvestigations.ca/infidelity-statistics-who-cheats-more-men-or-women/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20General%20Social,their%20partner%20while%20still%20married.

20% of men and 13% of women admit to cheating. If true, women are less likely to cheat, but if they do, with more than one man.