Do all men cheat?

[yungnluv]

I found out my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me a year ago and I genuinely mean this wholeheartedly it's the last thing in the world I thought he'd ever do to me. He was mad about me, adored the ground I walked on, showed he loved me everyday, he talked about marrying me every single day and starting a family. Talked about growing grey and old together. He would cry because he loved me so much. Would regularly bring me flowers , plan date nights and he genuinely made me feel like the most loved girl in the world the whole 6 years.

When I found out, shocked wasn't even the word.

And I'm sure there's women out there now who would say "my husband would never ever do that to me" and this is scary because I said the exact same thing.

It's an awful question but do most men cheat? Why do they cheat? Have you been cheated on before?

Disgusting. Ruins life's and family's. 💔

I have recently realised that my ex proposed to me the day after cheating. Think that was probably a guilty conscience and it was a way that made him feel better about it. He cheated all the way through our relationship.

If all men cheat then all women cheat. Unless the only men that cheat are homosexual.

I've nearly cheated but no, my DH hasn't. I've been shocked by how many married men have tried to cheat with me and act like they adore their partners - their partners have no idea

No, but many do and more would if they had the opportunity or thought they could get away with it. That's not cynical, it's an understanding of human nature. It's why even in a loving committed relationship everyone should set their affairs up so they can cope with walking away if need be.

The same is true for women but IMO women hide it better or may choose not to because of complex social conditioning reasons.

Where people go wrong is assuming that if they have a happy marriage they'll never be tempted. That's so unrealistic and is the reason so many people convince themselves their spouse isn't fulfilling them and start nit picking. Truth is most are just seeking the kind of excitement and validation that only really comes in the initial stages of a sexual/romantic union when real life and responsibility hasn't yet invaded the fantasy.

Once you accept that most affairs are about how they make you feel and that you will find other people attractive, you realise there is a lot you can do to avoid them. No affair happens instantly. There are lots of little moves/decisions which lead up to them and awareness of this means you can avoid them.

I know 3 men that had work romances.
Kissing colleagues at Christmas parties, in cupboards, flirty language at work.
They're all still with their dw's.
Whether or not the dw's ever found out I don't know.
This was 20 years ago and I think the fact sm was in its infancy and no whatsapp probably prevented it from being discovered and/or going further.
I can remember commenting on two colleagues snogging all night at a work party. Both had dp's and young dc.
I was told by another colleague (who didnt do this himself) it's just a bit of fun.

Some do some don't I have had around a quarter of my relationships where he has cheated in some way. One a serial cheat, the others more of a quick fumble early on in the relationship before anything got serious.

I've had 2 men chase me when they swore blind they were not in another relationship. I turned both down because I suspected they were trying to cheat, didn't stop them moving onto someone else directly after. They want me they have to be single.

Cheaters sometimes surprise themselves as they too never thought they would.

As lovely as it is to think men and women who are partnered and have an open window to cheat, sitting there weighing up their chances of getting caught, they aren't the are only thinking about what they are doing at that moment.

I think it's just short term thinking. Someone attractive fancying you is exciting, the rush is exciting. If you're very romantic you'll believe you've fallen in love... I think you have to be quite smart/have a lot of self control to not have an affair when the opportunity presents tbh

I don't think ALL men cheat,but a very high percentage of them do, given the opportunity. I don't think you can ever say with 100% certainty that a man would never cheat. When I married my exH many years ago,he was devoted to me and I honestly thought that he would never be unfaithful. But 10 years later,he did just that.

As others have said, not all men cheat, but more cheat than you’d like to think, and no, you can’t predict the ones that will. The one’s I know who have cheated range from the ‘yeah, not surprised by that’ ones, to the ‘wow, I’d never have guessed, he’s one of the good guys. Devoted his time to good works in the community and absolutely adored his wife’

My personal view is that men are more likely to cheat on a whim if given the opportunity. They might not go looking for it but if someone gives them the nod, then they are more likely to do it than a woman.

fortunately most of them don’t get the nod!

Wise words!

I don't think my DH would cheat. I really don't. But I'm not naive enough to kid myself it could never happen

Statistically, I've heard that approx 80% of people are honest, 19% would commit crime if they thought they'd get away with it, 1% go ahead and do it anyway. Perhaps it's similar for cheating?

Then where are they finding all these women who give them the nod or is there one seriously busy woman out there servicing all the cheating men?

That made me chuckle

I think most men will cheat if they can get away with it. The reason I say it is because men seem to be able to compartmentalize their lives much better than women. They can adore their wives and children and be there in every way, and still cheat, and not connect the two, or have it impact different areas of their lives. I may be wrong, but that's my observation.

I've been with my husband for 26yrs, married for 16. 2 kids .. best life ever, looking forward to early retirement. Best friends and tell each other everything, many deep conversations about cheating and how our relationship is going, always checking in on each other. Never known a better family man and Dad.

Two months ago I found out completely by accident that he had an affair 2yrs ago for a whole year. He didn't act differently in any way, shape or form. Literally don't know who is is anymore...so now I
do believe that yes, any man will cheat.

Doesn't mean I won't trust someone again, eventually... maybe....but I definitely won't be surprised if they do.

P.S Divorcing that waste of space, I'm worth more than that! Looking forward to the new chapter in my life.

@yungnluv

Did he cheat on you with a man?

You do realise that men can cheat with single women? That not every woman in the world is married?

Given the chance to sleep with a young attractive women then yes, I think most men would cheat.

Not all do. But you can never ever know if yours will, won't, has or hasn't. Same with women.

No.

Yup.
This

I work with a lot of men and have done for years. There’s very few of them that I’d be genuinely shocked to find out they’d cheated. Most of them would and do, in my own experience, if given the opportunity.

I would never have thought this before but after finding out in the last few years of the number of the most solid relationships (or so it seemed) breaking up but most because the man cheated. So now I think ‘not all men’ but introduce alcohol and temptation at the age where people are questioning stuff then it’s a much bigger possibility than I ever thought. Sighs.