Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

[CleverAzureDreamer]

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

It absolutely is nice to spend time with family and friends. At a time convenient to all. This Halloween your mum is busy. Choose a different time when she isn’t to spend time together.

As a pp said, I rather suspect if you’re honest, your upset lies in the fact your mum isn’t available to supervise your eldest and his friend, not the missed ‘family time’.

Excuse me, but you're interrupting the dual Mumsnet passions of expressing frothing anti-Americanism and utter contempt for anyone who can find a bit of fun and joy in something.

@CleverAzureDreamer

Leave the 12 year old and friend home to open the door and take the little ones out. Then have pizza, cupcakes and a scare movie together.

You sound needy. Let your mum get her hair done and leave her be.

Hello. I can understand some disappointment as in having more people can give it more of a feel of a special occasion and having another grown up there can make things practically easier and a bit more interesting. Otherwise the burden is on you to make the evening work for your DC. But it’s fair enough if your DM has other things to do. Could the mum of your son’s friend come along? Or your DH? I know you said he’s working but if you’d like it to be a special occasion with family time then perhaps he could get the time off. I don’t think it’s fair to be irked at your mum and not him. Any help from my DM is much appreciated but not expected.

This! I think mine would have died of embarrassment if I went with them at that age, let alone with granny in tow.

Last year we had fun.

Did she have as much fun as you did, I wonder?

I read your original post and before I read any further I just KNEW you'd get replies like this.
You've hit the "occasions aren't that serious"
"Who really cares about family time" squad.
I totally agree with you OP. Especially if she's done it years prior. It's nice for the children and nice for you to have a bit of family time. Whatever the occasion. I wouldn't burn bridges over it.. but I would be a bit deflated.

@Dotto certainly is in my house. We see her regularly but especially on occasions.

But you've said you don't want her to spend time with family and friends, you want her to provide childminding services for your son and his mate. Why would that be enjoyable for her?

Are you in the USA? If the answer’s no…are you sure?

@ddd4

Excuse me, but you're interrupting the dual Mumsnet passions of expressing frothing anti-Americanism and utter contempt for anyone who can find a bit of fun and joy in something.

Erm, speak for yourself. I love Halloween, and find it hugely enjoyable. I still think OP is being wildly unreasonable expecting her mother to care about it in the same way though! I take my little ones to Halloween parties and trick or treating, but I don't enforce that on my extended family nor feel "irked" if they didn't wish to join us.

I'm actually getting pretty angry reading these replies. I'm so sorry OP. Seems like there's a bunch of nans on here that begrudge their children and grandchildren 😵‍💫

OP, I'm sorry to break it to you, but a great many things become very, very boring when you get older. We grit our teeth and get on with it when the kids are young, but we're not obliged to do it once we're older. Halloween is over hyped, boring and pointless (unless you're one of these bouncy people with an endless tolerance for childish rubbish).

Christmas and Easter are different as they're proper holidays. Halloween is fluff, mostly American fluff at that.

I absolutely wouldn’t be spending next Thursday night trick or treating with anyone, not even my dear grandchildren.

Never used to go round begging with my son so certainly not doing it with grandchildren.

I agree. In fact I think I'd rather go to the dentist than be involved in Halloween.

You've come to the wrong place op. Most on mn won't open the door to a neighbour or for the postman. In fact, they can't just ignore a knock, they also feel enraged by it. So Halloween must be their least favourite night of the year, and they won't understand anyone who enjoys it.

Your other mistake is expecting anything from your mum because she 'doesn't owe you anything.' Happy families doing things together because they like each other are anathema to mn.

This can't be a serious post, surely 😂

Where are you? Are you in the UK?

If you're in the UK, YABU. I only know one person who actually genuinely cares about halloween.

And me lol 🙄

Oh yes, because harassing innocent householders is such valuable family time.

Totally reasonable sounds like you didn’t even want to spend time with her then? You just wanted her to go off with eldest GC and his friend whilst you went round with the younger ones; no wonder she’s swerved the invite! It’s not unreasonable she doesn’t want to play babysitter to your 12yo and his friend! Maybe invite her over to watch a film and make cupcakes at the weekend instead.

Jesus, on another thread most said 3 is 'far too young' to trick or treat and now 8 is 'a bit to old'.

What fucking age can people enjoy Halloween and simple things like dressing up and decorating the house according to mumsnet. Is it allowed for exactly 1 day when you are 5 or 6 and no more?

As pagans we are celebrating our celtic new year on halloween, hope fellow pagans and wiccans have a great time and happy new year!🙂

Maybe she doesn't enjoy trick and treating or scary movies. Doesn't mean she doesn't love you all. People have different tastes.