Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

[CleverAzureDreamer]

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

Hahaha

I absolutely love Halloween and often invite my mum / family round at some point in the week before for a Halloween themed tea or whatever. Kids might get dressed up. But I don't think it's standard to have any sort of family occasion, and not on Halloween day. It's not something I'd ever considered. I don't think you should feel upset about it. Have a nice time with the kids.

The trick or treaters I see go past are usually a parent and kids. Or two or three parents together and their kids. Not really grandparents so much.

You've got to be taking the piss.

As a gran, I can’t think of anything more boring, to be honest. It’s an American thing. 🤷‍♀️

I would say she either doesn’t enjoy it as much as you think she does and doesn’t want to do it anymore, or she’s taken a hair appointment at the only time one was available. Either of those scenarios are perfectly fine.

I'm quite surprised a 12 year old would want to be roaming the streets trick or treating with his mum and his gran!
And I certainly don't know many grans that would choose to go trick or treating with a 12 year old, his friend and his mum.

Surely it was a joke with it being Halloween and all, not a jibe at the poor woman!

Trick or treating is for primary school kids here too. Secondary school kids might have a sleepover and watch scary movies and hand out sweets to kids who knock.

Unless you’re in the US where Halloween is massive, your mum was clearly satisfied with the previous years experiences and happy to skip a year this time. It’s often quite drizzly on Halloween- did it rain for you last year ?

DS wanted to go with his friend alone but I can’t allow that now because my mum won’t be able to supervise them. I’m not allowing him to go with just the friend alone at night without either me or mum so he’ll come with us.

Halloween isn't a family gathering, Christmas is.

Wooptie fucking ping 💁🏻‍♀️

She probably doesn't fancy it, and your kids would have loads of fun with or without her. Just see her another time.

He is 12 and at high school unless you live in a dangerous city or rural why not

I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty

Why would it be "empty"? Surely you just take your kids and have a nice time with them, why do other parties need to be involved?

Why? Not everything on earth is for little kids.

In my area even youth in late teens, and even some eccentric adults, trick or treat. As far as I am concerned, anyone who wants to be out and about, in the spirit of the evening (instead of home staring at a screen) is welcome to a treat.

Maybe your mum is embarrassed at the thought of walking round with a couple of 12 year old knocking on doors asking for things?

The late teens round here scare some of the older people in the street with their knocking.

It’s your family time. It’s her hair appointment time.

Two 12-year-olds can't trick or treat in your neighborhood alone? Why not?

As a grandparents, I can think of nothing worse. I'd much rather get my hair done.

Please tell me this is a wind-up.

We have St Maarten in the Netherlands, a bit similar to Halloween except that the kids carry lanterns and sing a wee song.

It's a lovely tradition but every parent breathes a quiet sigh of relief when their kids are too old for it.

I can't imagine trying to make it a "family event" (i.e. grandparents dragged into babysitting but out in the drizzling cold instead of at least inside)

So really OP, you're annoyed at your mum not coming trick or treating not because you want family time, but because you wanted her to supervise two 12 year old boys as they wandered the streets trick or treating, presumably mortified that your mum was sent to supervise them.
No wonder your mum has refused!

Well clearly she doesn't enjoy it that much. Has it ever occurred to you that you and your kids aren't necessarily the centre of her universe, OP?

I don't blame her, bloody stupid American nonsense

Halloween is only interesting to 3 sets of people : -

1. under 5 year olds
2. students who see it as an excuse to get extra shitfaced
3. Instahuns

Everyone else thinks it’s a load of shit.