Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

For the 10th million time I'm not talking about a 25 year old. Please read the thread before commenting as it makes you look stupid

I agree with @Fizzywizzy2 - re: @Differentstarts opinion lower down the quote history (sorry I can't quite work out how to post it all at once!), I think this is unfortunately a prevalent attitude towards any older woman who ends up with a younger man. I would put money on it that the usual pattern is:

older woman doesn't see younger guy like that at all - maybe in passing thinks 'oh he's looking very fit and healthy - how nice'

younger guy is super nice to older woman and she thinks 'oh what a nice lad'

younger guy propositions older woman and she is deeply shocked and thinks omg wtf what have I done, how did I somehow attract/give that sort of message to such a young guy who I would never consider and should not and she says, variously, are you crazy/joking/mentally ill/wtf

younger guy probably backs off a little

older woman lets it sink in

at some point he probably asks again. Older woman says........ ok.

everyone lives happily ever after

I don't think older woman are generally at all predatory in these situations - quite the opposite. This whole 'cougar' image is imo just another way to disrespect women. OK maybe somewhere on the planet they are - I know in Eastern Europe it's a totally established set up that younger guys fuck older women, it suits both parties, she showers him with gifts. But I think our MN contingent are probably dripping more with Fairy Liquid than Gucci and diamonds. So the younger guy is just genuinely attracted/curious. And he is the one to make the move.

At least I know now that casual sex isn't for me!

Casual sex with him was not. It's not to say that another man couldn't be good.

However generally speaking, apparently surveys do confirm that casual sex is not usually as good as sex with a steady partner for women - probably because it takes it bit more skill and knowledge etc for many women to climax, than for men.

A steady partner had more chance to "learn" you, if they are open & motivated.

Proud?! 😂For shagging a bloke?!

Just catching up on the thread and all the batshittery from the pearl clutchers.

In what world is 40 'middle age'? 😂

Middle age is 50s, 45 at a push. Especially in women, who can expect to live well into their 80s and 90s if they've reached 40!

This. People are so weird. I shagged a bloke this morning can I have a medal

In the real world

yes remind me to run my life by chat gpt bless him

That seems a mean comment to the poster and to @Rigatone who just wanted to help OP see things in a positive light.

and it wasn’t for ‘shagging a bloke’. (how I loathe that degrading term) … it was for taking a bit of a challenging step to try the unknown, and learning that she can make good decisions/trust herself/say no ok no good/move on/operate in a new life sans ex. She is on a journey and some of us are just try to support her and give her our reflections/experience in case it helps her.

’Help’ being the operative word here.

Oh my goodness! This is getting beyond ridiculous.Women can live their lives the way they want to, with other consenting adults, end of.The only apparent theme on this thread is ageism towards women.One rule for men and another for women.
The thread is about a 35 year old women and 25 year old man, who propositioned a woman for sex, making it clear he only wanted sex There’s been so much negativity on here towards the woman! She’d be taking advantage of him, apparently, because he’s just a boy😂

Why you quoting me im answering a question on what is classed as middle aged for women. Google is free you can do the same. I have no issue or interest in a 25 year old and 35 year olds sex lives. My issues was a 34 year old shagging a 20 year old and a poster saying they fancied teenage boys

I’ve been following the thread, l’m well aware.
Another poster made a comment, you keep going back to this same comment, which has nothing to do with, a 10 year age gap, between consenting adults.A man of 25 is an adult.

I keep saying it because people keep tagging me. If people left me alone I wouldn't have to keep saying it. Every comment iv made is replying to others

A tag is a notification not a summons. You could just ignore it if you weren’t obsessed.

I really wish that was true but unfortunately some of us have mental illnesses that make these things harder and make me have obsessive traits. I wish I didn't but here we are. So I would appreciate if people would be understanding to this and be the bigger person. And just stop talking to me

Aw, I'm sorry he was crap in bed, OP.

I do think an older, more experienced man is the way to go, even if the younger ones are shinier. Not just in bed, but overall usually wittier and more knowledgeable, so better to talk to. Just like us. ;)

Obsessive Replying Disorder is a new one to me. This site makes me laugh every day.

😂

Instead of making fun of people maybe learn about mental illness

Your just as bad maybe educate yourself

This is actually hilarious.

No its not it's nasty and shows a real ignorance to mental illness

40 is not middle aged now?! 😂

A pregnancy over 35 is deemed a "geriatric pregnancy". Women's fertility falls off a cliff from 40 on, it's very much "middle aged"!

Delusion on an industrial scale.

That is very disappointing on so many levels. I'm sorry it didn't live up to the expectations in your head. Well done for trying something new (for you anyway) and I wouldn't write off all 25 yr olds. There may be someone out there that could really surprise you.

Does this mean that you have to change your coffee shop now or can you still go back to the one he works at?

Have some fun and enjoy yourself (but be safe doing that).

Does this mean that you have to change your coffee shop now or can you still go back to the one he works at?

He was pretty laid back and we both agreed we wouldn't make it awkward for each other.

I actually went there today and he was so lovely I started thinking maybe I should give him a second chance!