Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I shag the 25 year old

647 replies

NotmyrealNC · 21/10/2024 22:39

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
creamandcookies2 · 24/10/2024 08:42

TrishM80 · 23/10/2024 11:29

A middle aged woman shagging a 22 year old kid? Fucking hell.

What's so wrong about that? I met my husband at work when I was 24 and he was 41. We were both adults. Funnily enough noone ever said anything, it seems when women are the older one they get scrutinised more.

Happierthaneverr · 24/10/2024 08:42

Rigatone · 24/10/2024 07:51

I was checking in to see if you have shagged him yet OP! Glad you are enjoying the robust AIBU debate! I am team shag.

Same!

TrishM80 · 24/10/2024 08:44

Lucy25 · 24/10/2024 00:04

You’re not very good at maths are you.OP’s 35 and he’s 25.Both consenting adults, who can do whatever they choose to do.

Edited

You're not very good at reading the thread, are you? I was referring to the 40 year old middle aged woman who shagged a 22 year old at a festival.

KungFuKitten · 24/10/2024 08:45

SunnieShine · 24/10/2024 08:35

Bear in mind he will probably be keeping score and swapping stories with his mates.

This . Do be prepared for unwanted attention if you go for the shag . They will compare experiences. They are probably all at it .

LunaNorth · 24/10/2024 08:49

Team Shag member marking my place…

Lucy25 · 24/10/2024 09:12

TrishM80 · 24/10/2024 08:44

You're not very good at reading the thread, are you? I was referring to the 40 year old middle aged woman who shagged a 22 year old at a festival.

😂Ah that makes it ok then, for your judgmental attitude.A 22 year old man isn’t a kid.And the thread is about a 35 year old women and a 25 year old man.

Rooroobear · 24/10/2024 09:33

TrishM80 · 24/10/2024 08:44

You're not very good at reading the thread, are you? I was referring to the 40 year old middle aged woman who shagged a 22 year old at a festival.

And if you actually read it, he lied to her about his age!! Stop only reading what you want to read! Even if he hadn’t lied about his age, they were still two consenting ADULTS. Do you understand that? Adults. Not all our vaginas are covered in cobwebs.

Swivelhead · 24/10/2024 09:42

God, he probably has a Minecraft account. And thinks Lady Gaga and Katy Perry are oldies music.

I couldn't, but there's nothing wrong with it.

Blondiney · 24/10/2024 10:41

arcticlines · 24/10/2024 08:14

If you're sure you can remain emotionally uninvolved. If a 25 year old was interested in me, I'd tie him to the bed & ride him like a racehorse. Best of luck.

Trying to imagine what the MN reactions would be if it were a an old geezer talking like that about a woman in her twenties…

Foxxo · 24/10/2024 10:43

Jesus.. goes to show how many women on here have very closed social circles.

Mine (i'm 43) has a very big age range, they go from 18 up to 60-ish, and while i have a core group of friends who're mostly 30-45 who i spend most of my time with, there is also a smaller group who i think the youngest just turned 21, and there's me and someone else who are in our early 40s and a few other parents in their late 30s.

Most of the guys who are 23+ are in full time employment, have their own homes, own cars and act/operate like fully card holding adults, and unless you ASK their age, it wouldn't occur to you that they're 23/24 at all. It also flips the other way, most of them don't clock i'm 43, and i've been asked to produce my driving licence to prove it more than once as they assume i'm only in my early 30s myself.

When you're an adult, age is irrelevant, its the mental/emotional maturity and power balance between you that counts.. which is why at 38/39 i turned down the 24/25yo, but when he came back at 27 i said yes... he did a hell of a lot of maturing in those 2 years (works as a paramedic tech and those 2 years were over covid) but he wasn't looking for a one-off, he wanted more, and i can tell you, that despite the age gap, he is very much 'in charge' when we're together.

The only time it flips the other way is when he's looking for sensible advice, and he'd rather talk to me about it than his friends in their 20s. He is also probably one of the most understanding, nicest, easy to talk to people i know, with a level of emotional maturity my exH (his is in his 50s) never possessed.

BIossomtoes · 24/10/2024 11:25

Blondiney · 24/10/2024 10:41

Trying to imagine what the MN reactions would be if it were a an old geezer talking like that about a woman in her twenties…

When did 35 start being old? It’s barely middle aged.

Poiul · 24/10/2024 12:04

I would say do what feels right.

I’m 30 and recently ended a relationship with a 26 yo I met on hinge. I know the gap isn’t as large but I did have a massive mental block going into it re age.

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. He was far more mature than some of the 30 year olds I had been going on dates with.

We broke up because he is on the baby, marriage fast train and I most certainly am not (was a carer to my dad for many years and have no interest in looking after any more dependents for a while).

People in their 20s are not a monolith

TrishM80 · 24/10/2024 12:12

Blondiney · 24/10/2024 10:41

Trying to imagine what the MN reactions would be if it were a an old geezer talking like that about a woman in her twenties…

Widespread disgust.

Lucy25 · 24/10/2024 12:33

TrishM80 · 24/10/2024 12:12

Widespread disgust.

With a ten year age gap, if it was the other way around the man was older, there wouldn’t be any disgust.

ihaveliterallynoidea · 24/10/2024 14:28

Rigatone · 24/10/2024 07:51

I was checking in to see if you have shagged him yet OP! Glad you are enjoying the robust AIBU debate! I am team shag.

Setting a reminder for Monday

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 24/10/2024 15:12

It doesn't sit well with me that a strange '20-something' bloke just randomly approached you, and asked for your number. And you are now thinking of 'shagging him.' Confused The whole situation is rather grim. And I am far from a prude. It just all seems a bit bleurgh to be honest!

Would you be posting on here @NotmyrealNCasking if you should shag this man if 'this man' had been in his 50s?

I bet you wouldn't, and I bet a lot of the posters saying 'you go gurrrrrl' would be posting different comments too. Wink The man would be called a dirty pervert, and gross, and nasty. Fact.

SpringleDingle · 24/10/2024 15:17

I can't see the problem with it so long as you think you'd enjoy it. I tried no-strings sex after my divorce but it wasn't something that really suited me. I don't regret the shags I did have though, I just decided in the end to look for a proper relationship.

SwingTheMonkey · 24/10/2024 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lucy25 · 24/10/2024 16:05

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway
It’s a 10 year age gap.There are some massive overreactions on this thread.And no it wouldn’t be the same, if it was a man who was 35, woman 25.

NotmyrealNC · 24/10/2024 16:14

Would you be posting on here asking if you should shag this man if 'this man' had been in his 50s?

Well, yes if I found him attractive enough to consider it!

OP posts:
SwingTheMonkey · 24/10/2024 16:17

Why on earth has my reply to @LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway been deleted? What is wrong with pointing out that there’s nothing wrong with a 50 year old asking out a 35 year old? This website is insane…

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 24/10/2024 16:19

I wouldn't. I did at 34 (he was 22) and it was shit. He lacked skills. Wasn't worth it.

Elle771 · 24/10/2024 16:19

Just shamelessly here for the shagging update 😅

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 24/10/2024 16:23

No, it's creepy.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 24/10/2024 16:28

Blondiney · 24/10/2024 10:41

Trying to imagine what the MN reactions would be if it were a an old geezer talking like that about a woman in her twenties…

Would you call a 35 year old an old geezer? There's not a huge difference between 25 and 35. Personally I wouldn't think anything of an age gap like that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread