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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I shag the 25 year old

647 replies

NotmyrealNC · 21/10/2024 22:39

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
JumpstartMondays · 21/10/2024 22:39

Don't do it.

Newnames123 · 21/10/2024 22:39

Yup. You should. Have some fun.

Horrified14 · 21/10/2024 22:40

Shag the 25yr old! Know you are going in just for sex and enjoy the ride! You are overthinking. Go have some fun!!

Allofthelightsss · 21/10/2024 22:40

Go for it.

Preppingpenguin · 21/10/2024 22:41

Ride him like a mechanical bull

MummyJ36 · 21/10/2024 22:41

I mean….if you’re absolutely sure that you’re ready to have some no strings attached fun then why not? But please be sure with yourself that you are ready for this, particularly after coming out if an abusive relationship. It may feel weirder than you think to have a one night stand. But as I say, if you genuinely think you’d be happy to take it for what it is then I don’t see any issue.

MiddleagedBeachbum · 21/10/2024 22:41

My gut reaction from reading your post was the feeling that you’re not ready and still so vulnerable and open to being hurt that you won’t be able to separate the sex and the emotions,
However, if you can, then go for it!

randomchap · 21/10/2024 22:42

As long as you're both consenting and you're both aware it's just a shag then go for it

mycatsanutter · 21/10/2024 22:43

If you can go it with no emotional attachment then yep go for it !

SocksAndTheCity · 21/10/2024 22:43

Another vote for the shag 👍

Alittledilemma · 21/10/2024 22:45

Shag him. Enjoy his youthful energy. And when you say goodbye, know you've created a memory you'll giggle about for a while.

Life is too short to not.

Original poster
NotmyrealNC · 21/10/2024 22:46

I feel like there's not much risk of me getting emotionally attached to a 25 year old. Our lives are in very different places. I also don't think I'll know whether I'm ready until I try it? But also don't want to lead the poor boy on and then bottle it last minute.

Yes I am definitely overthinking this.

OP posts:
SwingTheMonkey · 21/10/2024 22:47

Yep, go for it!

Elizo · 21/10/2024 22:47

Go and enjoy yourself. No exoectations

OkPedro · 21/10/2024 22:48

NotmyrealNC · 21/10/2024 22:46

I feel like there's not much risk of me getting emotionally attached to a 25 year old. Our lives are in very different places. I also don't think I'll know whether I'm ready until I try it? But also don't want to lead the poor boy on and then bottle it last minute.

Yes I am definitely overthinking this.

Maybe don't call him a boy 🫣

ilovesooty · 21/10/2024 22:48

He's not a "poor boy". I imagine he can make his own decisions, just as you can.

HazelPlayer · 21/10/2024 22:48

Preppingpenguin · 21/10/2024 22:41

Ride him like a mechanical bull

Pmsl

Apolloneuro · 21/10/2024 22:49

If he’s single and not vulnerable, go for it. Be safe, of course.

He’s 25, not 16. What’s the problem?

Buffypaws · 21/10/2024 22:50

My friend did this and they’re married with a 9 year old now

Buffypaws · 21/10/2024 22:50

(So I vote yes)

Illpickthatup · 21/10/2024 22:50

NotmyrealNC · 21/10/2024 22:46

I feel like there's not much risk of me getting emotionally attached to a 25 year old. Our lives are in very different places. I also don't think I'll know whether I'm ready until I try it? But also don't want to lead the poor boy on and then bottle it last minute.

Yes I am definitely overthinking this.

He'll likely not be interested in anything more serious anyway. 25yos generally aren't. My friend is your age and has experienced some 20-sonething men recently. They might say they want more than just a shag but they're talking shite.

Have some fun and please don't worry about a 25yo being upset he got a shag and nothing more. I'm sure he'll be delighted.

Ohthatsabitshit · 21/10/2024 22:50

No he’s a child (in comparison).

HazelPlayer · 21/10/2024 22:51

But also don't want to lead the poor boy on and then bottle it last minute.

If you decide you don't want to, that's your perogative.

He's forward, he's on the hunt, his behaviour won't be isolated, I'm sure he can take it on the chin if you opt out. His emotions aren't involved, he's after sex. He's probably got other prospects or is very open to having them.

Just keep that in mind.

Bondii · 21/10/2024 22:51

Ohthatsabitshit · 21/10/2024 22:50

No he’s a child (in comparison).

Yeah I think it's a bit gross. I couldn't personally

Dweetfidilove · 21/10/2024 22:52

If you're thinking about it this much, don't.

You're still raw yourself, so might fall in love if he's any good; or waste so much time worrying you've hurt the poor boy, you won't just move on.