Friend in trouble, police at my door.

[Playgroundincident]

My friends daughter is in year five mine is in year 4. My friend is an black, Muslim Zimbabwean woman daughter is also. Daughter has been receiving snipey racist abuse from a child in her class. Always where teachers can't hear and it's been going on for a couple of weeks. Daughter is a wonderful, sociable intelligent sporty kid an absolute pleasure to be around. Friend had been in to school at the beans thought it had been addressed however over the weekend it emerged that it hasn't and the child is still doing it, daughter hadn't said anything to her mum.
My friend was so upset, we walked in he dropped the kids off his morning, she said goodbye to he daughter then we watched the kids line up to go in. My friend and I stood in another part of the playground till she saw the boy who had been racist towards her daughter. She flew at him shouting all sorts of profanities, told him she was going to hit him, fucking kill him. The child was understandably frightened and the dad of another child stepped in and tried to calm the situation down. I grabbed her and took her out of the playground so the teachers could deal with the child. I've never seen he do this before she is not normally this way inclined but has a shit year with a husband who thinks she is there to serve him, left her for another woman, both parents died so her threshold is low at the moment. I sat with her in the car to calm her down. I told her I can't imagine how she is feeling he daughter being racially abused, told her I understood that she wanted to protect her but threatening to kill a 10 year old was not on. She's now annoyed at me asI didn't stick up for her.
An hour later the police have turned up at my door looking for her asking had I seen her, getting a witness statement because school have reported her. Friend has phoned me saying that she knows it was me who told the police and how she thought I would have her back and the year 4/5 WhatsApp has lit up with comments about how I should have done something slagging my friend and me off. For the record I don't agree with what she did but I've now got her and police to deal with. and now he child who made the racist comments mum threatening me. He whole thins is absolutely zero to do with me. I feel sorry for the children but any advice on how to navigate this would be much appreciated. Not sure whether to go for radio silence with everyone but police and school or say something on WhatsApp. My son is in he school and I don't want any fall out on him or my friends daughter either. Any suggestions appreciated.

I'm in a job where I have to sign up to a moral code of ethics and behaviour in my personal and professional life my registration and therefore livlihood depend on it

In that case I'd take a very big step back from this "friend", who frankly sounds deranged

For the avoidance of doubt, nothing excuses the hideous racism her child's suffered, and nothing excuses the appalling way she behaved either, so personally I wouldn't want this mess in my life

The only thing I'd add is to stay well away from Whatsapp or whatever. People love a drama, but once they've moved on to something else you don't want to be the one left carrying the can so it may be best to distance yourself from all this completely

I bet that you wanted to kill your bully as did your parents though.

It is totally the school's fault. The poor woman asked to deal with it but they didn't.

The same with your school. I would not have blamed your parents at all if they did what the lady did.

There are three possible levels of public order offence that may apply here, none of which require the court to believe there was an intention to kill:

4Fear or provocation of violence.
(1)A person is guilty of an offence if he—
(a)uses towards another person threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour,
with intent to cause that person to believe that immediate unlawful violence will be used against him or another by any person, or to provoke the immediate use of unlawful violence by that person or another, or whereby that person is likely to believe that such violence will be used or it is likely that such violence will be provoked.

4AIntentional harassment, alarm or distress.
(1)A person is guilty of an offence if, with intent to cause a person harassment, alarm or distress, he—
(a)uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour,
thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress.

5Harassment, alarm or distress.
(1)A person is guilty of an offence if he—
(a)uses threatening or abusive words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour,
within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1986/64

Mine got their comeuppance, it was carefully planned and not traceable.

possibly because it's something that the victim can't ever change and why should they want to - the same applies to various disabilities.

Those could be considered as mitigating factors in sentencing.

Can’t say I did or do actually.

The school have failed clearly but acting the way the mum has won’t have fixed her issue. Her child will be an outcast. school won’t be able to let her in again as she’s a threat to children.

The other parents are going to want zero to do with her or her child apart from To gossip.

All that she’s achieved is possibly a criminal
record and needing to move her child’s school oh and playing into the “crazy black women” trope/sterotype that is already held against black women everytime they dare be mad about anything.

You're wrong

She has fixed the issue. Nobody is going to mess with this kid now.

A child cannot change their poverty, their parents profession, their need for glasses, their red hair, their freckles…

But even if it was something they could change (eg their friendship with an unpopular individual) why should the fact someone is beating them up every lunch time for that rather than their race mean there is less urgency in stopping it?

Pleased to hear it.

How do you mean cautious ?

@FiddlyDiddlyDee we don’t know what the school did/ didn’t do. From the OPs post it sounded as though everyone thought that the school had dealt with it but then it emerged this weekend that there had been further incidents which the OP says the teachers hadn’t seen. So we don’t even know if the school were aware of the further incidents at the time when the friend was threatening to kill the child in the playground.

Very much doubt she will be sentenced to anything.
This isn't likely to go to court.

Surely the school will have CCTV cameras?

Why not? It clearly meets the criteria for a public order offence.

Nothing will come of it. Courtwise. At worst. She may be banned from entering the playground for a limited period.

Yup and it is all the schoo's fault for not dealing with it.

I would hope at minimum she receives a caution.

Presumably the ‘witnesses’ in that case would be other kids? I’d advise my child not to get involved, yes

How exactly is your friend 'threatening' you? Had the school dealt with this racist behaviour as appropriate, none of this would have happened. They are at fault here.

Your friend is unhinged and should be held accountable for her actions, her husband is an excuse not a reason. We all navigate things in life but threatening to kill a child and running around playgrounds hunting for children is not acceptable behaviour in an adult under any circumstances. Her terrible behaviour are not a solution for a child's comments and behaviour towards her daughter.

In terms of others blaming of you, ignore it or as others have said defend yourself. Leave the school to deal with it all, probably this will end with the boys family pressing charges against her. Her poor daughter already bullied at school and then her mum embarrassing her.

That was a good message. I hope you also told her that it wasn't you that reported to the police, though. in fact I'd have told her that it was the school. Because a) it's obvious anyway, and b) the school has big enough shoulders (and the LA/Academy's backing) to cope with any fallout. You should not have to carry the can for them. I'm a retired teacher so I know that the school would expect to carry the responsibility for their action

In that case I hope that you/ your kids never either get bullied or threatened by an adult saying they were going to kill them in a school playground. A wall of silence works both ways.

Your friend sounds like a fool. Threatening a child in a school playground is utterly bonkers. In all honesty this is why children are behaving badly and bullying others. Some do not have good role models.

Bullying in school id expect the teachers / dinner ladies etc to be the witnesses.

If no adult is ever hearing it then I doubt many if any children are either. Bullies are crafty after all.

This playground incident has both other parents and teachers as witnesses the children are not needed other than the kid who’s been threatened.

OP said that the boy was bullying her out of sight of staff.