Friend in trouble, police at my door.

[Playgroundincident]

My friends daughter is in year five mine is in year 4. My friend is an black, Muslim Zimbabwean woman daughter is also. Daughter has been receiving snipey racist abuse from a child in her class. Always where teachers can't hear and it's been going on for a couple of weeks. Daughter is a wonderful, sociable intelligent sporty kid an absolute pleasure to be around. Friend had been in to school at the beans thought it had been addressed however over the weekend it emerged that it hasn't and the child is still doing it, daughter hadn't said anything to her mum.
My friend was so upset, we walked in he dropped the kids off his morning, she said goodbye to he daughter then we watched the kids line up to go in. My friend and I stood in another part of the playground till she saw the boy who had been racist towards her daughter. She flew at him shouting all sorts of profanities, told him she was going to hit him, fucking kill him. The child was understandably frightened and the dad of another child stepped in and tried to calm the situation down. I grabbed her and took her out of the playground so the teachers could deal with the child. I've never seen he do this before she is not normally this way inclined but has a shit year with a husband who thinks she is there to serve him, left her for another woman, both parents died so her threshold is low at the moment. I sat with her in the car to calm her down. I told her I can't imagine how she is feeling he daughter being racially abused, told her I understood that she wanted to protect her but threatening to kill a 10 year old was not on. She's now annoyed at me asI didn't stick up for her.
An hour later the police have turned up at my door looking for her asking had I seen her, getting a witness statement because school have reported her. Friend has phoned me saying that she knows it was me who told the police and how she thought I would have her back and the year 4/5 WhatsApp has lit up with comments about how I should have done something slagging my friend and me off. For the record I don't agree with what she did but I've now got her and police to deal with. and now he child who made the racist comments mum threatening me. He whole thins is absolutely zero to do with me. I feel sorry for the children but any advice on how to navigate this would be much appreciated. Not sure whether to go for radio silence with everyone but police and school or say something on WhatsApp. My son is in he school and I don't want any fall out on him or my friends daughter either. Any suggestions appreciated.

The school were only told about the allegation once months ago, and we don't know what was done by them but we do know that no one including the mum knew that there was an ongoing problem until the weekend before she attacked the boy on the Monday morning. Any reasonable person would have gone to the school for a 2nd time to tell them that the alleged racism was still happening, she didn't she went straight to attacking and threatening to kill a child, there's nothing reasonable or understandable about it.
All of us who have endured bullying and/or seen our children suffering from it know that there's a process to follow which escalates with each incident, a 1 off report of non violent bullying is usually delt with by talking to the children involved and putting appropriate measures in place to monitor the situation, if no further incidents are seen or reported the school will assume that it's working (which is a reasonable assumption), if the mum had reported that it was continuing even with the current measures then things could have been taken further. Instead she decided to go after a child.
The sad thing about all of this is that the girl at the centre of this will now have to endure all the other kids and parents talking about her mum and is likely going to be a social pariah. Worst of all is if the boy in question was as sneaky about his bullying as most are there won't have been any evidence of the bullying when it was investigated (assuming that it was) so it could look like the mum is targeting the boy for no reason and that will play out badly for both mother and child.

I would tell the police you didn't see anything. She is your friend and going through a lot. Why drop her in it over a racist little thug. Think how you would feel if it was your child being bullied. Yes she was wrong but I'm sure she knows that now. Hopefully it gave the little shit a good scare and he won't even think of saying anything to her daughter now. Tell the boys mum she has brought up a vile racist bully and not to text you and be more concerned with her son. She probably has these racist views as he obviously learnt it from somewhere! I hope your friend and her daughter are okay

From OPs first post:

Daughter has been receiving snipey racist abuse from a child in her class. Always where teachers can't hear and it's been going on for a couple of weeks.

I would tell the police you didn't see anything.

So you advise blatantly lying to the police? And if she is subpoenaed to appear in court, do you advise she perjures herself there too? Her reaction made it quite clear she saw what happened.

I doubt it will go to court. So you would drop a friend on it snd side with a racist bully would you?

I think a lot of people on here are secretly racist. I bet they wouldn't be so quick to defend the little shit if it was their little darlings getting bullied!

This

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Threatening a child is wrong. Doing it in a situation where you will be scaring other innocent children is even worse

Years ago I picked my nephew up from school as a favour to my sister in law and I was verbally abused in front of everyone by the father of a boy in his class - the boys were in year 3, so pretty young, and there had been some kind of altercation.

I kept telling him I wasn't the mother, but he wouldn't listen, and he was absolutely raging at me. It was very frightening.

The head was brilliant. She banned the dad from the playground for 2 weeks, made him apologise to me (letter), asked if I wanted to press charges, made me feel supported.

I didn't take it further. But I could have.

People need to understand that they can't just go about letting off steam at other parents, kids. There are consequences. I would hope that the friend here is spoken to and doesn't do it again.

objecting to an adult scaring children at school by screaming obscenities and threatening to hit and kill one of them (considering that some of the children present will live in situations where the threat of violence is very real) is not ‘siding with a racist bully’.

Indeed. All the other children who witnessed this verbal assault on bully child. They did not deserve to witness that.

They didn’t deserve to have to go into school scared of this aggressive women. Who for some will now be scared to enter the playground in the morning incase she comes back.

Which is why also hopefully the mother will be barred from premises.

FFS she’s already given a statement.

Even if she hadn’t, as other posters have said, it may well go to court at which point she’d be summonsed. Plus surely it’s better for the friend to give a balanced statement than for the police to only get statements from the child, parents etc?

Tell them all to eff off. People who try to blame someone else for another persons actions are the worst kind. Playgrounds are full of bored people like this who love a bit of drama in their boring lives. Don’t explain yourself. Divert them back to the psycho parent who threatened a kid. And the r parents of the racist kid. Let them all deal with each other.

Who threatens to kill a 10 year old 😳

Hundred often emulate their parents behaviours so the bullying of the daughter is likely to be six of one and half a dozen of the other and the boy is calling her nasty names in retaliation m.

The mother is a nasty thug.

Steer clear of them all.

This is complicated as your friend could easily choose to have the racist bully charged as well. He is legally culpable at ten years old.

This won’t make it court with your friend, and if it did it would make an interesting case as all witnesses would be invited to attend, including op and everyone in the playground at the time.

I guarantee everyone will have a different take on the ‘facts’ and indeed the case would almost certainly fall apart just on the grounds of proving beyond all reasonable doubt that the threat to kill was serious and intentional (this is very challenging even with the most severe cases)

I sincerely hope op’s friend is getting some support.

Good luck charging a 10 year old for hearsay racism. This absolutely wouldn’t make it to court. He would not be culpable for anything. Don’t make me laugh.

The mother on the other hand, with witnesses as there were, could be in some real trouble.

He is legally culpable, I am afraid and if he has sent any SM messages, voice mails or any other evidence that would support a case op’s friend is well within her rights to speak to the police about it if the school have failed to address it.

Not really because in these cases during a trial everyone will almost certainly have a different opinion and memory of what happened. More witnesses can complicate even straight forward cases.

Which is why we would need to see concrete evidence. No one here knows if anything exists and is just speculating. What we do know factually happened though, is the verbal and physical intimidation of a child as seen by witnesses.

the case would almost certainly fall apart just on the grounds of proving beyond all reasonable doubt that the threat to kill was serious and intentional (this is very challenging even with the most severe cases)

Public Order offences require no such thing.

So in your world a ten year old making snide comments is a crime and the word of another ten year old is enough to convict. But an adult screaming profanities and threats to hit and kill a ten year old in a school playground in front witnesses is not?