To feel constantly gaslighted by local GP doctors. Is it the norm or should I change my practice ?

[Springtimesadness]

I have recently moved to a new area with my family. Unfortunately , myself and the kids been sick a lot in the past 2 autumn/winter seasons. Some just normal colds others more serious viruses like flu, rsv that needed medical help. Also had a bad case of Strep A for which my child and I were in a hospital.

One of my children and myself are both quite vulnerable to secondary bacterial infections and tend to develop them after a serious virus (not every time). As a responsible parent I take them to GP practice especially if they are not getting better after 6 days or getting worser. However, I have seriously struggled with the level of gaslighting that made me question my child and myself and often even made me delay taking them to the hospital as a result if being convinced 'its just a virus'. To sum up over the course of 2 years GP's have missed my sons chest infection, perforated ear drums, tried to convince me that I cannot have a bacterial sinusitis because it followed a flu (which is a virus) when i have got a chronic sinusitis and struggled with it all my life and know the difference. Its this constant 'antibiotics dont help with viruses' when I am on day 13 of a virus and getting worser so clearly something else is going on.

On all of these occassion often after 14 days of suffering I ended up crying at A&E that nobody wa staking me seriously. Normally x rays were done / check ups and infections quickly identified and antibiotics were quickly given. When it was my child I was always told that my child was very sick indeed and needed antibiotics and I was right to seek medical help.

I have raised this issue up with one of the GPs after another hospital visit and she just laughed over the phone saying that antibiotics in that sense were prescribed out of precaution and both my child and I would have gotten better by ourselves eventually. I just felt again like I am constantly being laughed at by these health professionals and my health concerns are being brushed off until they reach the point of 40 degree fever and I have to look for help elsewhere. I have now got a Ptsd even calling this practice and was wondering if that is a normal way GP doctors now speak to people?

I have just called them to get my other childs ears checked as hes been crying for the 2nd nights from ear ache and i want to make sure its viral and got told ' we dont treat ear ache anymore in this country since 90s so not much we can do that you cannot do yourself at home'.

To add we usually are sick during autumn months and then hardly ever call them so I am not an over anxious person who calls about every single ache. I call when I or my kids really need it. I also dont eat antibiotics like candies but a few times they have saved us.

Am I being completely unreasonable to think that this is not an cceptable level of medical help?

To be fair some professional do not have negative intent - I say that as someone who works for NHS. I have witness for myself.

Tamiflu is an antiviral drug prescribed to ease flu symptoms - not a sub-variant of flu 🤣🤣🤣

Again, gaslighting is about INTENT. An abuser tries to make you question your reality with the express purpose of making you feel like you are going crazy.

Medical gaslighting isn't anything to do with abusers. It's when HCPs shut people down when they are concerned about something and doubt their patient's ability to know their own body.

negative intent? No, but they do often have racial, gender or weight bias that they refuse to be budged from.

Did I miss it or did OP never confirm she and her family get the annual flu vaccine?

I find threads like these so depressing. Everyone desperate to say how the OP is wrong to be concerned with the poor quality of NHS care as if it’s perfectly acceptable in its current state. The Tory controlled media have certainly done a number on many of you.

Thankfully, I don’t live in the U.K. anymore and can usually get same day appts with my GP and find them very caring and supportive. I can also ring the Consultants Secretary directly if I want to ask a question between appointments etc. Test results and other information is given to the patients as well as the GP’s.

I wish people would realise just how far the U.K. has fallen in terms of the quality of education and medical provision as a direct result of long term underfunding by successive Tory govts. The rot started with Thatcher and never really recovered.

@SparklyTwinkleGlitter but none of those were the points raised, entirely separate issue

Have you actually had a positive test for Influenza? A lot of the time people say they have 'flu' when it's just another cold virus - actual Influenza is much less common in young/ middle aged adults. Also won't respond to antibiotics as it's not a bacteria.

Have you had any positive results showing a bacterial infection? It does sound like you frequently attend with minor illnesses excepting antibiotics. Most of these infections will be viral and therefore antibiotics are of no use.

Antibiotics are not indicated for acute sinusitis - it's usually viral, and even if it is bacterial it typically resolves without antibiotics.

We pay health insurance in the UK too. It’s not actually free.

Just on the earache - I used to get a LOT of earache as a child and the thing that helped me was putting warm olive oil with garlic into it. I never had antibiotics.

People will say it's an old wives' tale but it worked for me and is better than wasting time with a GP. And definitely better than going to A&E.

Oh and as far as moving GPs is concerned, you often can't. They have their catchment areas (not sure why as I am sure a home visit from a GP is less likely than a visit from the King!|) and if you are not in it, you can't register.

And some won't take elderly people even in catchment because they think they are going to be too needy.

Oh! I did have the tamiflu medication too. The pharmacist made me sit outside and wait for it 😂😂😂

The flu must have addled my brain!

Change GP if you aren't happy with the service. Why carry on being a patient there if you are dissatisfied? You haven't got PTSD, phoning them makes you feel anxious because your previous experiences mean you don't trust them. They sound horrible from what you describe and it's no wonder you are aggravated by them. Find a nicer practice.

I find threads like these so depressing. Everyone desperate to say how the OP is wrong to be concerned with the poor quality of NHS care as if it’s perfectly acceptable in its current state.

Except the OP had nothing to do with quality of care and everything to do with whether OP was unreasonable to be angry because her GP refused to prescribe antibiotics when they didn't feel it necessary.

I disagree with @Errors and agree with @Foxxo medical gaslighting is very much a thing.

I'm not convinced on this. My youngest had regular perforations and was ill every few weeks. We went to a private ent specialist who said he wasn't at all concerned. After a many months wait for an nhs ear test, my son had glue ear and impaired hearing from fluid build up in his ears. And still little interest in doing much about it. I did learn from one of our numerous visits to the children's ED that - counter to what our GP had said - children's ear perforations don't typically need antibiotics (which was a relief, because DC can't have penicillin and we struggle with compliance with other ABs). All this to say there's a disturbing lack of consistency in children's health care and it can be incredibly stressful for parents

This is utter bollocks. Paul Thomas (author of this paper) is an anti vaccine grifter who has had his medical licence suspended

Why is you being an immigrant relevant?!

This thread isn't about drunken people taking up Ambulances, this is about you using one when you could have gone by taxi.

You even said yourself you didn't need it

Crikey

This a thousand times.

Wow. Right, so because she's an immigrant and expects the health system to actually help when she or her child is sick, she's what's wrong with this country??

I'm an immigrant too (though now naturalised as British). I also use the health system. My son has even been taken to hospital by ambulance once. I must be part of the problem!

BTW my son at almost 4 has had at least 10 rounds of antibiotics over the last few years, probably more - perforated ear drums (which the GP insisted on treating with ABs despite a paediatrician now telling me was not needed) and several chest infections. I guess he just needs more vitamins, and I must definitely be neglecting his diet??

Ridiculous!

Quality of care aside, antibiotic resistance is not unique to the U.K.
It is a concern.

I am sorry but your message is just awful and shows your attitude nothing else. It has got nothing to do with this thread nor me and my expectations at all.

Why is there so much talk about where people are born?? What relevance is it?? The only points worth mentioning is that this is not medical gaslighting, and antibiotics twice a year for one person is a LOT!
OP, I do think you have a form of health anxiety, you immediately think the worst if you or your child is unwell. The GP was right that there is no treatment for earaches. Ear infections are almost always self contained and self healing. Only in extremely exceptional cases do they require treatment.
If you truly are getting ill as often as you say (because it is completely abnormal as an adult) then it’s worth asking your GP to run a blood panel on you. Do you know what your WBC is? It’s worth investigating. It could be as simple as idiopathic neutropenia (not serious in itself, but would explain why you get ill so often)