Come on, this is pretty disingenuous...clearly this is a woman whose lived experience is VERY different from yours - can you have a little empathy for that?
She very clearly lives with a man who sees child-rearing as 'woman work'. She's had a decade & a half of forfeiting her own career development & earning capacity because he is the kind of person who expected her to be there for every night waking, every sickness day and every single inset & school holiday. And no doubt the house to be immaculate; the wardrobe to be full of clean, ironed shirts ready for his very important BIG job; & dinner to be on the table every night too.
And for these services, she 'earns' the dizzying reward of calling him her husband, living in "his" house, and getting food & bills paid. But not clothes, kids activities, school lunches, trips, cinema, presents for birthday parties, books, etc etc. No, no - that's 'woman spending' because it's for the benefit of (his!) children, so she needs to fund all of that, and she's not allowed to access funds from his very important big job to cover female fripperies like that!!!
That IS pretty controlling. And significantly underpaid compared to the services of a nanny, cook & cleaner (& gardner, decorator, nurse?) over the years!
I've got nothing against a marriage being a completely equal partnership where she develops her career & shoulders cost in an equal ratio to earnings. And he picks up equal responsibility for planning & paying for kids' holiday activities, time off for their sick days, and all the household tasks & mental load.
That's clearly not what's gone on here & let's all stop victim-blaming her for not earning more while she's had to raise these children without access to all the family assets, shall we?