To pack it all in and give up when so close to my goal? Absolutely had enough

[youtrbiscuit]

Me and ex decided to go halves for DS’s education when she starts school in a year. I’ve saved nearly all my share (150k), even allowing for inflation. It’s been harder for me to save as I earn much less money than ex and I’ve pretty much clung onto my job despite it being difficult with a toddler.

This week I’ve just had enough. I want to pay off my mortgage and take a part time average job with no pressure. Just fed up. I have the security that my mortgage will be paid off eventually via inheritance and yes I know you can’t rely on that but my mortgage is 170k and I should inherit four times that. It’s not definite, I know. I mention this before anyone tells me I shouldn’t pay fees while having a mortgage.

I don’t know what to do now. I know ex will be disappointed. I know it’s selfish of me. I just hate the stress of my job and even though I really wanted this for ds I just want to hide away from life now, I am exhausted. Maybe now im slightly older it’s hit me too I don’t know.

*he not she!

You’re going to be so pleased to know education is sorted though. And if you gave £150k in somewhere sensible you’ll be earning interest on that won’t you? Put that towards some rewards for your hard work (mortgage or mini break.)

@RhiWrites but if I have my mortgage still then I have to continue this stress. I feel so unhappy

@RhiWrites i was all for this plan originally, I don’t know why I feel like this. I just feel utterly depleted and the money feels like a way out which I’m about to give up

How long did it take you to save the £150k?

@Smithhy around five years as started before I was pregnant. I did have 5k and 10k here and there gifted to me too which I put into the goal. Those gifts won’t be happening again though

What will be more beneficial in the long run, private education or a parent who doesn't feel like they're on the verge of a mental breakdown?

Is there a compromise to be had? Private for secondary and use the savings to fund you going part time in the meantime to give you some breathing space?

@Smithhy i would actually say 6 years

I don’t understand this

You have saved enough for her education and yet you are moaning about a 170k mortgage

The repayments on that can’t be much and now you have met your savings goal for education then you should have plenty left over to pay your mortgage

Unless this is all fantasy?

What are the state primary options like near you? Maybe you could compromise - start him in state but keep enough savings for private school later on if he seems to need it?

@Quitelikeit I can’t carry on as I have, that’s my stress. I can’t continue in this job it’s too much. My mortgage repayments are high I am not on a low rate!

@Quitelikeit also not sure what you mean about fantasy

Well done, you’ve done amazingly! What a wonderful gift for your child.

take a break, enjoy a saving free month or two, enjoy Christmas etc

life will get easier. Perhaps talk to your ex and say you’ve been struggling, xoukd he up his percentage a little?

@GiraffeTree good state primaries but we had chosen the private school and ex loves it he has no idea I feel this way

Has your ex saved the same?

@nzeire thank you. I just don’t think I can carry on anymore. So unhappy at work. Nothing feels sustainable

Why do you need to have all of it saved now before she starts?! Overpay your mortgage as much as you’re allowed each year for a few years which won’t even be that much and then over the next few years build the school pot back up

@UpUpUpU don’t know exact savings for him but he has enough to pay his share from income just

@dinmin because I wanted to either do it or not.. and not be in a position where suddenly she had to leave

I would absolutely not waste that money on a private education. What if he isn't academic? What if he hates school and acts up? There's so many what ifs that could make you feel like you've lost your money. No what ifs if you pay your mortgage off.

What is it that you hate about your job?

That's risky though, relying on income ...

It's a no brainer from me...pay off the mortgage, reduce your stress and be happier which in the long run will benefit your child more.

I don't live somewhere that does private education really so it's easy for me to say it's not as important. Do what's right for you.

Pay off your mortgage and send your dc to a good state school. Less stressed mum=happy mum= happy child. No brainier.

Children don't need a private education, they can succeed without one

Children do need a secure home and a present and happy mother.