SIL having a party on brother’s birthday

[StarAstrid]

Just really interested to hear opinions on this.
My SIL (49) has decided to have a big party to celebrate her 50th birthday. She has decided to hold it on my DH’s (her brother’s) actual birthday as it’s a Saturday. Her birthday is 2 weeks later but she is busy then. My DH is annoyed that she has booked this date as birthdays are rarely on a Saturday and neither of his parents or any other family members think it’s an issue for her to hold the party on his birthday. He says that’s not how he wants to celebrate his birthday and so at the moment he won’t go. Is he being unreasonable or would you also be annoyed if your sibling did this? Thanks for reading.

THIS

He is being childish. I'm assuming he is a grown man.

She is doing what works for her. Your DH can do works for him.

I’m not a fan of big parties on my birthday, much prefer to celebrate it in other ways. If a sibling arranged a big party on my birthday I’d be annoyed too.

There are 50 other Saturdays in the year she could have picked from, what a selfish cow.

Why are so many mumsnetters against people wanting to celebrate their actual birthday in a way that they enjoy!? So many weird views on here!

I think this is a bit of a non issue unless your husband was planning a birthday party/event that people now won’t be able to attend? If not, he should plan activities he wants to do on his birthday, maybe go away for the weekend or whatever and let his sister enjoy her party. What’s the difference?

Is your husband 6 or 7?

I think its the kind of thing where, on the surface of it it looks like he is making a fuss. But also that there is often backstory in these cases (not necessarily that the other sibling is evil just family politics) that make people act like this. Or he just happens to be someone who makes a big deal of his birthday which is fine. So, given that he is your husband, I would just be loyal to how he feels about it (if that sounds surrendered wife style, its also what I would say if the sexes were reversed).

It’s what I’d do.

I actually think it’s what any normal person beyond the age of about 12 would do.

Go to the party.

Your DH can wear a tiara and a big birthday sash saying it’s his birthday.

Then everyone wins.

I’m with you and your husband, I wouldn’t necessarily love spending my birthday celebrating someone else’s!

I think that's very different though. Because weddings are such massive events in every way, there are so many factors you have to think about, and you often end up quite confined date-wise. Also a wedding is arguably more important than a birthday. Holding your birthday party on your brother's birthday is a very different matter IMO.

Is it your DH’s 10th birthday? Because that’s how he’s acting.

Then they don’t go and they do something else that he wants to do?

Mumsnet is so weird at times.

SIL’s 50th birthday = such a milestone that she has the pick of dates for that month, and everyone really ought to put her first and celebrate it with her.

DH’s non-0 birthday = so insignificant that it’s barely worth a mention on the day and if he thinks otherwise, then he’s a big baby.

There’s literally nothing stopping this man doing whatever he chooses on his birthday.

Yeah if they prefer, absolutely!

He doesn’t have to celebrate with her. I don’t care about ‘big’ birthdays, I think that’s all daft, but no one is forcing him to go to her party. He can decline and go hang out with his wife/friends/kids whatever. There’s no need for the drama.

But that's his plan - to not go and do what he likes instead. So why does that make him childish?

Yes, I don’t think he should go. Selfish sis can lap up all her attention. Win win

I nursed a twin born prematurely.. The medical team managed to delay the delivery of his brother for 18 days...Both babies survived and did well..

Always be ready with a plan… ‘oh what a shame I’ve already bought non-refundable tickets and hotel room for a surprise night away! Have an amazing party!” Problem solved 😂

Sounds like a plan. Has your husband expressed how annoyed he is with her for doing this? If not you decline and say sorry, you’d already made surprise arrangements for his ACTUAL birthday

He is being very childish

Think your husband is being rather childish!

Sibling nonsense - ignore him. Don't get in the middle of it whatever you do. Sibling relationships can be inexplicable and often very childish. She may have done it deliberately to push his buttons. He will know that and will react. Or maybe not but those sibling emotions can get intense...

I think it’s weird of the Sil. Other people not connected to your dh, fair enough but for a sibling to plan their party on another siblings birthday seems weird and stealing attention.