What is with the English, affairs, and divorce?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

Everyday when I visit this website I see a post about a husband having an affair, or a suspicion that he is cheating, or an irritation that he is getting to close to a female friend. I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society, and the levels of infidelity shock me.

I'm Irish, and believe me that the men here are not perfect. We have high levels of addiction (alcoholism) and dysfunction (anger management) but the infidelity is definitely not as commonplace (although it does take place but not as frequently). Yes, Irish marriages/relationships break up, and adults may get a second life partner after a relationship has died, but the actual 'cheating' is not as common and is scandalous if it does take place.

I find it shocking that an average man can contently sleep with another woman, and then go home to his wife and kids. My mind boggles that a woman can feel like she has a right to encroach on another womans husband and take a father from his family.

Op has had a lttle hissy fit and popped off now...

No, that's not how probability works.

That reminds me of a Wendy Shea cartoon from the 1980s.

Frame 1 had her pot-bellied O'Brien saying 'they say any true Irishman would crawl over ten naked women to get to a pint'

in Frame 2 'that's not true'

And in the next, double-width frame, he's up on his elbow calling to the naked woman at the end of the line beside him 'hey, Bridie, pass me down that pint!'

we were convinced that Shea knew our boss, but in truth there was more than one of them around.

Definitely the element of everyone knowing everyone else (slight exaggeration there) comes into it. You'd have to be very circumspect to get away with it.

I remember as a child (mid 70s) sitting in a big tree in front of my house early one summer evening, nicely hidden from view, when I spotted through the leaves a neighbour knocking on the door opposite, the door opening, the woman inside grabbing the man by the arms and snogging him as she pulled him through the doorway. The snogging continued until he managed to push the door shut with his foot (and probably afterwards). My eyes were out on stalks.

The man definitely had a reputation for womanising, I later learned. Having the reputation repelled some and attracted others. The woman from the house opposite wasn't his only conquest. My DM wasn't surprised when I told her.

Someone I knew from school (early 80s) left Ireland and slept her way through several states in the southern US before eventually settling down. She was very open about the affairs with married men, and was also very open about sleeping around while in school. set being said, she was talked about and eyebrows were raised.

Proportion doesn't work like that.

Ireland is predominantly urban and suburban.

There is little or no backlash for divorce, or living with an unmarried partner, or having a same sex relationship, with or without marriage.

Lol, another old neighbour from Dublin effed off to Birmingham with the local postie, leaving her husband and two children. I have no idea how that ended, but what a cliche.

@BoundaryGirl3939 get back in the DeLorean

Not sure about. There are places in Yorkshire that almost feel incestuous.

🙄

Love how it’s just the English who have affairs, and not the Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish.

I am Irish and think the OP is wrong!

no Irish women dont cheat ask op she knows them all

I'm half Irish and I've had 36 affairs in my lifetime

In rural and small town Ireland a lot of us do know a lot of us. One of the reason we all enjoy RIP.ie so much - we can trace. I've just remembered the time the a local woman with a cleaning job had a fling with the manager of a business she worked at. Everyone knew. I don't know whether he was married - she wasn't, that didn't stop tongues wagging. I think some people emigrate just to have a little privacy.

Yet another Irish person here to say the OP is talking absolute bollocks. I'm from Dublin, in my 60s, and there were always whispered tales going round in my suburban area about who was having affairs with whom. In fact when we moved to this house many years ago, we were quite surprised to be invited to a "throw the car keys in" night in a neighbour's house. We didn't accept but I learned subsequently that those nights were extremely popular in this neighbourhood.

Perhaps OP isn't quite so aware of any affairs because her family and friends all know how judgemental she is so they don't let on to her?

BTW, my DH is from a tiny rural Irish village and it's an absolute hotbed of sexual shenanigans, always has been!

Really?

I’m Irish and feel like I’m missing out now!!😉

I’ve never come across any hotbeds of sexual shenanigans or ‘throw the cars keys in’ nights out! Not even a hint! Wondering should I feel insulted now?🤔😂

People that post on here are just as likely to be Scottish or Welsh as they are to be English. Or were you under the impression that the Scottish and Welsh are also English?

Well, not just as likely, because the population of England is much higher.
People post from places other than GB too though (like me).

Either Ireland is special and the men are super-faithful, or you just think they are...
They're feckin' shameless! They'll try it on in front of a room full of strangers, when anyone could know their wives. Knowing for sure that no-one will tell on them, especially if they are well known.

I live there. Everyone knows everyone!