What is with the English, affairs, and divorce?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

Everyday when I visit this website I see a post about a husband having an affair, or a suspicion that he is cheating, or an irritation that he is getting to close to a female friend. I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society, and the levels of infidelity shock me.

I'm Irish, and believe me that the men here are not perfect. We have high levels of addiction (alcoholism) and dysfunction (anger management) but the infidelity is definitely not as commonplace (although it does take place but not as frequently). Yes, Irish marriages/relationships break up, and adults may get a second life partner after a relationship has died, but the actual 'cheating' is not as common and is scandalous if it does take place.

I find it shocking that an average man can contently sleep with another woman, and then go home to his wife and kids. My mind boggles that a woman can feel like she has a right to encroach on another womans husband and take a father from his family.

This is it. Ireland is really quite behind in terms of their attitudes and ethics compared to the UK. it's not their fault and I think it's too much crossover with religion and legislation

Balls.....I'm Irish and the cheating definitely IS as common! 😂

Do you have anything to back up your claim that men are biologically polygamous?

I don’t think all humans are monogamous but it’s a big leap to say that all men are polygamous. I know many men who have or probably would cheat and I know a few men who couldn’t think of anything worse than being true to their wives.

It’s a very generalised statement you’re making with no real evidence to support it. (and you won’t find any because scientists cannot fathom it either. Humans are fairly unique in our behaviour and whether we are naturally or just socially monogamous, no one can make their mind up).

Mumsnet isn't an accurate description of English society. It is disproportionately populated with people who are richer than average and also with people who stay at home to raise children, something most families cannot afford. So it is also disproportionately populated with women in relationships where they are at the sharp end of monotonous childcare and where resentment between the couple is more likely than the average, whether it's sole earners feeling the pressure to earn for everyone or people who stay at home and miss out on adult company and building a career.

I've also seen quite a high number of accounts whose stories change depending on the forum they are on....

😂😂😂

It's because no one comes on here to right a post about how happy they are in love and life, there are a lot of people out there happy, it's just when the shit hits the fan we come on here for advice and support

I love a bit of anti-English sentiment from an Irish person first thing in the morning.

I think you're very naive. I'm Irish and men cheat plenty. The difference is that it's a mainly catholic country where even today divorce is shameful. This means women are culturally stuck in these relationships and don't leave.

You're on a site primarily for women and you're wondering why you read 'a lot' about mens infidelities & women's fears about affairs .

The problem with threads like these is that the OP clearly doesn't undersstand the basics of internet forums. Of course the percentage of men on here who are cheating is higher than in her real life. It's higher than in my real life. Because.... wait for this astonishing big reveal..... people whose relationships are mostly fine, and who are not suffering with a cheating partner (or an abusive one, or a lazy one or a sick one or whatever) do not, as a rule, post on MN about their partners and relationships.

How is that hard to understand?

In real life, I know of 2 men who are definitely having/have had affairs. I'm more than willing to believe there might be a few more. But that's 2 men out of the literally hundreds of men I know.

What a silly OP. In my extended family there have been two affairs that have broken up a family. Guess what? Both Irish men.

This article was written 3 years before the Ashley Madison article I posted down thread. Seems the lust was there, but not the app to do it. 😂

Hi @Runninglateagaintoday, I just wanted to point out that the photo that was included in the link you shared, was not taken by a very sensible photographer, and that the male model in the photo obviously has no idea how to send illicit texts etc.

The pretend male partner should be facing towards his "partner", so that all she can see if she stops pretending to be asleep is the back of the phone. At the moment, if she "wakes-up" quietly - just opens her eyes and has 20/20 vision - she would be easily able to see what he was looking at on his phone!

Sorry, Runninglate, I am not blaming you for the badly thought out photo, I guess I am just in a silly mood! I also don't want to get into a discussion with the OP, as she doesn't seem to understand all the relevant and valid points that the other PP's are making. All I could do would be to repeat them again, and unfortunately the OP apparently can't, and/or doesn't even appear to want to actually read and understand them. I wonder what reaction @BoundaryGirl3939 really wanted from us? 😂

Just like all the evils in the world, according to the MN mantra. All the 'suspicions' that are on MN don't necessarily get confirmed, a lot of women are paranoid about any conversation he has with another female, especially when they have 'accidentally' trawled through his phone. Oddly enough if a man sees messages on her phone then he's 'abusive' and 'controlling'.

With "the English?" How weird.
I'm Czech and half of the marriages fail.
Human beings, I guess 😁

Mad isn’t it? Like my username says what my nationality is and what country I live in.

How do the Welsh and Scots fare OP? Are they predominantly loyal and faithful?

You are wrong.

According to studies, the infidelity rate in the UK is 36% whilst that in Ireland is 33%. So a little lower in Ireland but not as dramatically different as you seem to think.

what a crock of shit.

the only irish person i know personally was a woman who had an affair and left her husband... catholic too.

Oh right OK.

I can use my own experience to judge an entire nation just like you can then.

I've worked in Ireland on and off for years. In that time at least 10 men have come onto me, asked me out, sent me inappropriate messages etc. All were Irish and all were married.

Your thread title and opening post has upset and offended a lot of posters, who in real life, are sound people.

Not to mention stereotyping a country based on threads here without knowing any facts about the poster.

If English women are less tolerate of being treated like shit by their husbands or partners well good on them.

I'm Irish too and I couldn't agree more.

Presumably the same way any survey finds out anything 😂

A reputable company will try and find the most representative sample of people they can, and carefully design their questions in a way that encourages people to answer honestly (eg. not leading questions, guaranteeing complete anonymity etc.) and then they extrapolate up.

Whether or not this survey company is reputable or not, I neither know nor care, but it put the UK and Ireland as having very similar rates, and both fairly average. So if OP wants to claim England has a massively higher infidelity rate than Ireland, it's on her to prove it.

FYI, I live in Ireland, my exh had an affair.
My relatives wanted me to 'turn a blind eye' as most women did in the past!!!
Nope! I'm worth more than that.
There's not less infidelity just less people talk about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

💩

I'm Irish and I know several women who are having affairs/ have had affairs, but no men..🤔