To begrudge her perfect little life

[Sistafromanothermista]

I’m struggling to articulate this but I have a friend who I actually really like as a person but can’t help begrudge her life sometimes.

we went to school together and she was a high flying achiever. Type A person who was never in trouble but pushed boundaries if she thought teachers were wrong or there was an injustice etc. She was a workaholic and wanted to focus on her career with no time for boys, alcohol and ‘distractions’ like that.

we lost touch for a few years and got back in touch recently and I feel I don’t know, demoralised maybe, because of how her life has turned out.

when we met up again she told me she’d met someone (I was happy for her because I knew she had been in an abusive relationship for a while) and was happy. She then goes on to show me pictures of his proposal (think movie style every girl’s dream rose petals and swan towels) and says they’ve booked their wedding. Again all good.

she THEN proceeds to tell me shes 16 weeks pregnant and her and her fiancée had bought a house. I without thinking asked how can you afford all this…of course miss workaholic accelerated in her finance role.

since we’ve gotten closer she’s had her wedding and just so happened that her husband has made friends with my friends through a hobby. They all went out recently (as in all the men), including my own boyfriend. They went to a more sleazy part of town and I (and this is so horrible I know) asked specifically about my friends husband to see if he’d been upto anything (a couple of the other men had). Apparently her husband talked about her the whole night, didn’t drink alcohol and went home early because he missed her.

just tonight she text me to tell me she’s expecting another baby and how she would love to meet for lunch. She’s a lovely woman and she has a heart of gold and she should obviously be so proud of herself but for fuck sake I just feel like I can’t catch a break around her sometimes. Aibu?

edited to say: she’s stunning by the way. She was always attractive in school but when I saw her again she looked like a real elegant type of stunning. I’m not bad myself but again I just feel a bit bleugh when I’m with her.

Wow! Talk about blowing one's horn.

There are lots of beautiful women who are good people and vice versa.

To look at a beautiful person and think they need to be come down from any pedestal is akin to OP's thinking.

Jealousy!

With a friends like you who needs enemies? You're clearly jealous of her relationship

You sound like a delight.

You’re jealous.
I’d work on yourself. I expect you’re unhappy with aspects of your own life and are projecting those onto her. Try figuring out the source and how to deal with these toxic thoughts.

Could ppl be kind in their comments. We are all under such pressure to achieve and have perfect lives. Ppl sneer at those who aren’t doing as well. And many ppl try really hard to improve their lives and go through hard times. So it’s easy to compare and feel lacking. But in reality most of us are ordinary or average (which is not a bad thing).
Just as long as LW isn’t taking it out on her friend. And perhaps it may be a good idea for LW not to see too much of her perfect friend as it doesn’t seem to be doing LW much good.

It’s lucky you’re stunning @NPET because your people skills need some work…

She needs to come down from any pedestal men have put her on, and you need to realise how she's used to being treated.

That has to be one of the most tone deaf contributions to a conversation on here, and that’s saying something.

An abused woman who has worked for everything she has, finally being treated with love and care, is not on a pedestal she needs to be knocked down from so people like OP, with boyfriends who happily have sleazy nights out, or you and your stunningness, can feel better about yourselves.

It’s ok to think ‘wow I want some of that!’ It’s not ok to specifically ask about her husband, hoping to find out some dirt, to make yourself feel better! Jesus.

You've said yourself, since school this woman has worked hard and was a high flyer. I’d never begrudge this type of woman happiness! She’s worked for what she has.

Always remember…..dulling someone else’s sparkle, doesn’t make yours shine brighter.

Work on what you are unhappy about yourself. Don’t try to tear her down.

Indeed. What an absolutely vile comment from that poster. Truly nasty.

Took a while for the critics to come out!
Who's jealous of whom?
Me of the OP, or you of me?

I know, out of all that the OP posted about her "friend" the one thing that some fool picks up on is the person's "stunning looks" 🙄

And to put the cherry on the cake this fool takes pains to tell us that she's regarded as "stunning" too! Maybe she needs to be knocked off her pedestal............

Her life sounds anything but “littie”

@BMW6 given her last contribution, I think she’s Samantha Brick!

I was thinking the same thing!

Of course!! 😂

It way to showy that usually sounds alarm bells for me not everything on social media and on paper is as it seems

Also howto say im on mn without saying im on mn lol

"I just feel like I can’t catch a break around her sometimes"

What do you mean? Do bad things happen to you around her?

OP you sound like a Toxic friend she doesn’t need on her like . She has got rid of her abusiive relationship She certainly doesn’t need another

Oh I feel you mate. We’ve all got one of those. Try and be happy for her. All of our lives have ups and downs. You never know what’s coming up the road for either of you. Could be your golden decade starts tomorrow! Xxx

We’ve all got one of those

What, someone who has escaped an abusive relationship and has worked hard and sacrificed going out partying for their success?

Yes, how dare she be "one of those". 🙄

We’ve all got one what? Do elaborate.

Except would you ever secretly wish infidelity and betrayal on your friend.

I wouldn't even wish that on the person I hates, let alone a friend.

It's natural to feel a little envious when others have what we don't, but it's vindictive and spiteful to wish them misfortune of that scale.

I think the following saying is very apt for this situation: you don't make your light any brighter buy dimming someone else's. You aren't happy with what you have. Change it. You want what she's got, then shoot for it. In this world the only thing you have control over is you and your actions. Stop taking a passive view of your role in life. Nothing just happens, you make it happen.

What the fuck does it matter to you what her relationship with her partner is like?

Seriously, grow up and get a grip. You're being really, really horrible. It's not like she's stolen her happiness from you. You wouldn't somehow have a better life if she was more unhappy. It's not like there's a limited supply of happiness in the world that you're being denied access to because she happens to have some.

You’re jealous. Hard work = high quality life.

The jealousy says more about how uou feel about your own life than her. Her life is great, so why are you annoyed by it? Maybe yours isn’t quite so great?

You sound jealous and pretty horrible tbh. If you were a real friend you would be proud of what she’s achieved