AIBU to feel uncomfortable about sharing pronouns?

[Oodiks]

I am on the interview panel for a junior position in my office and have been given a sample set of interview questions to amend as necessary for the advertised post. It's a 2-person panel and the other person is happy to share their pronouns but I'd rather not. Also, the first question invites them to tell us a little bit about themselves, where they are from, what their interests are, and what their pronouns are.

It seems to me that if the other person on the panel shares their pronouns and I don't then it shows that sharing is optional, and I'd like to change the interview question to tell them they are welcome to share their pronouns if they choose rather than straight out ask them.

Am I being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable about sharing pronouns or not?

Thoughts?

Give me an example of how you would use an interviewee's third person pronouns in a normal interview situation.

These pronouns are not used for addressing people. If you are referring to someone as he/him/she/her during an interview while they are present, you are plain rude. If they are not present, they won't know what you refer to them as, will they?

I wouldn't be happy about sharing my pronouns either.

Purely because for the first 40 years of my life people managed to look at me and get them right!

The fact my name is unisex and much more common for males in the 80's made non facial contact and pronoun use interesting 😂

Actually even last month I went to an appointment and had been put down as Mr despite the fact I'm sure the referral must have had my name on and miss 🧐

For all the talk of “inclusivity” there’s a nasty ageist “get with the vibe you old has-been” and “we set the rules now, you had better obey or take the consequences” to asking middle aged and older people their pronouns. Does an older man of say 70 in hospital want to be asked his pronouns or asked if he could be pregnant? Or will he find this confusing and gaslighting? We all know the answer.

Any sex?

I was frequently misgendered as a child, I think largely because I was wearing my brother's hand-me-downs and had shortish hair. Can't say it bothered me that much; I knew who I was.

I was frequently misgendered as a child, I think largely because I was wearing my brother's hand-me-downs and had shortish hair. Can't say it bothered me that much; I knew who I was.

I still am based on my name.

Makes it much easier to know what's junk Mail and what isn't without going past the envelope 😂

Also my favourite is when I get cold calls "can I speak to Mr weird". "No sorry, there's no Mr weird living here" 😇

This is all bollocks, if you are talking to someone you refer to them in the second person, i.e. 'you'
You don't talk to them and ask what are they/he/she thoughts on.......... are.

I really hate this pronoun thing. I'm a woman. I don't feel the need to tell everyone I'm a 'she/her'. If people for some weird reason think I'm a 'they', 'it' or 'him', then I really don't care! They can call me whatever they please! No-one's ever got my pronouns wrong before though, my name is pretty obviously female and I look like a female

If someone wants to explain their pronouns to me or ask me to call them 'they' or 'he' or 'she' or whatever, then of course that's absolutely fine. I'm happy to call people whatever they want and use whatever pronouns they want, no big deal, just let me know

But, I don't want to have to explain my pronouns and so wont and shouldn't b expected to.

If I went for an interview and was asked my pronouns, it would put me right off the job to be honest! And I'd find it quite intrusive. As an interviewer I'd never state my pronouns unless the candidate asked (but then I'd think to myself 'this candidate is one to avoid!')

I am aware I'm a different decade to most of the pronoun pushers, so maybe I'm just getting old. Glad I am not looking for graduate jobs right now, I expect this is fairly common practice in interviews for younger people these days

I don’t think this is complicated.

Get the person on the panel who is happy to share their Pronouns to say.....

Please can you say a bit about yourself such as a brief career history and hobbies or interests etc... This can include preferred Pronouns if you wish. Mine are they/them.

I would feel uncomfortable about being asked my pronouns because I don't really want to have to state them, especially in an interview situation. If stating "my pronouns are she/her" just meant 'I'm female and not trans" I'd be fine with it.

But to me, stating my pronouns feels like I'm making a statement that I'm on board with gender ideology. And I'm really not on board with it, even though I have nothing against trans people (and I don't mind if someone else wishes to state their pronouns).

The reasons I'm not on board with gender ideology are: that I'm worried about teens and young adults undergoing medical transition that they may later regret; and that I think females need some spaces and services that are female only. It's not because I'm a horrible bigot. But if I went along with it and stated my pronouns I'd feel I was aligning myself with an ideology that I'm uncomfortable with.

I identify as a peri-menopausal woman. My pronouns are try/me. 😉

If you asked me that in interview, I would think it weird. Are you implying that my pronouns affec5 how I do my job?

I’m sure the woke brigade will shout it from the rooftops before you say a word!

Organisations are so falling over themselves to be 'inclusive' that they will put the majority right off any desire to work for them.

I'm a very easygoing female but I'd absolutely hate being asked for my pronouns. It's completely ridiculous, not to mention intrusive

The organisations falling over themselves to be trans inclusive often fail to be inclusive towards other protected characteristics. These organisations don't always make the same effort for disabilities, sex, families, neurodiversity, LGB & other groups.

To be truly inclusive you need to make the workplace accessible for everyone with or without protected characteristics. Not just the trans community only; some employers think they've ticked the DEI box if they become trans friendly only.

Sex Matters guide to pronouns
sex-matters.org/posts/publications/pronouns-guide/

So the interviews have been held. We interviewed 2 males and a female. I stuck to my principles and did not state my pronouns or ask for theirs. I did notice that my colleague stated hers with 1 of the guys and the girl, and asked for theirs, but didn’t do either with the cute guy. We’re hiring the cute one because he was also the best prepared.

Well done OP. Interesting that your colleague didn't do it with the hot guy.

If someone asked me what pronouns I used, I would be inclined to say that I use female pronouns when referring to a female, male pronouns when referring to a male, and neuter pronouns when referring to a thing. I probably wouldn't get the job, though 🙂

When can you start? 😀

So, tell us about yourself.

What are your pronouns?
Are you married?
Do you have a husband or a wife?
Are you in a civil partnership?
Do you have children?
What are your plans for children?
Are you sexually active?
What contraception do you use?
What childcare arrangements do you have in place?
What is your religion?
Are you Jewish?
What does your father do for a living?
Are you Lesbian?
Do you have or are in the process of obtaining a Gender Recognition Certificate?
Do you have a disability?
Have you ever been a victim of domestic abuse?
Ever been raped?
What are your retirement plans?
Are you a member of a trade union?
Have you ever taken an employer to court for discrimination?

None of those questions have a place in a job interview - not even when an interviewer feels the need to tell a candidate any of them.

That sounds like a sensible approach with that Pronouns- people felt about to state or not, so that sounds good.

I'm a bit concerned you said we're hiring the cute guy because he was ALSO the best prepared. Hopefully you didn't factor in cuteness! Or am I being woke ;)

I wouldn't give a job to anyone who insisted on sharing their pronouns at interview.

I am so sick of this stuff. Anyone can be whatever they want but I am obviously female and I don't want to have to tell someone my pronouns are she / her.

If asked I will say my pronouns are "Cunt / Cunty

This is what I do now - "How do you like to be known?"

This is very much how I feel. The chances that anyone will fail to correctly identify my sex are slim to none. There is a pronoun appropriate to my sex, and the chances that anyone would fail to use that when referring to me are also slim to none. And in the highly unlikely event someone decided to refer to me, obviously a woman, as 'he', well the chances are I'd be none the wiser as they'd be talking about me in my absence rather than addressing me to my face, so why would I care? The vast majority of people have this experience. Yet we are being encouraged to participate in something so glaringly unnecessary for us as individuals it feels farcical. My pronouns are she/her....you don't say.