Before I approach head with the request

176 replies

Number14 · 16/10/2024 16:44

Hi guys,

Just looking to gather some ideas/options before approaching head.

DS just started reception at siblings’ school. Reception kids finish 20 minutes earlier than other year groups. I.e Reception at 3.pm and other years at 3.20. DS has SEN (just reviewing his draft EHCP now). Major transition/sensory issues. His class teachers/other staff have seen his melt downs during pick up time e.g throwing himself on the floor, hitting me, throwing things, running onto road! On top of this - I have to wait 20 minutes in front of the school until sibling is let out. Cannot wait at reception - very small. I also have a 3 year old to deal with. Dad is at work but on off days he picks son up and brings him home before returning for his sibling. It has started to become really unsafe because the tiniest things can set him off and he runs off! And he gets so tired waiting.

I have thought about approaching school head re either letting him stay the 20 minutes in school or letting my DD go at the same time as him. DD is year 5 and says those 20 minutes are allocated for reading/getting ready to be dismissed. 3/5 days would be this format.

Am I being unreasonable? Any other option? Would they go along with it? Do I have a compelling case?

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:

Teenagehorrorbag · 21/10/2024 23:14

Number14 · 16/10/2024 17:07

My youngest is fine. Sits in the buggy and just gets on with it. It is My DS that is the issue. There is no compromising with him and littlest things will set him off. E.g I have to take his favourite snack everyday otherwise meltdown. Same size too. If one breaks or falls off - that is it. He will run on to street, hit everything, scream, hit me, hit sibling. I have to chase after him and little one is left in buggy waiting. Another example, will only
enter school one way and exit one way. One day we were late in the morning - refused to enter through reception. Literally on the kerbside sitting until staff opened gate to let him in because they recognised what was happening.

Re taking a walk - once we start walking, there is no way we can return. His routine cannot be disturbed otherwise cue meltdown. Screams ‘this waaayyyy’. He is big. I am 5 foot. All this happens whilst I still have to deal with the buggy/DD2.

Not making excesses but wish he would accept a walk to the shop - I would even get him whatever he wants EVERYDAY if only be would return to school for sibling.

Honestly, I would be surprised he they agreed too 😭😩😩

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OP I really feel for you, it can be really hard managing ND children. My comments here are not related to your post but wanted to offer some hope.

I know they are all different. But your DS sound very like mine at that age - we had some really difficult years at primary, but he is now 16 and the most lovely boy! People in my ASD support group used to tell me things would improve but it's hard to anticipate it when your child is that challenging.

I know all children are different but honestly, DS now does still struggle with social stuff but otherwise he is amazing! I could never have imagined he would come this far ten years ago. Of course it may not be the same for you and your boy, but I really hope it is, and it is incredible how much they can progress.

Also - I don't know how your DS copes academically, but mine always struggled at school. He has a great memory but can't do hypothetical deductions. He can read words but doesn't read books as the whole story does not make sense to him. He is high functioning but not typically Aspergers.

I asked the deputy head in year 9 if DS might pass any GCSEs. He said the trajectory at that time was not looking on track to pass but he had seen lots of children suddenly improve during KS4. And Wow - he did improve. He took 9 subjects and passed all except English Lang (3) , and he got a 5 and a 6 in other subjects.

Just wanted you to feel some positivity for the future. Sending hugs.

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