Do you think this is true about short v tall men?

[Agogog]

I had a conversation with a male friend who is about 5ft 8. Very successful, by the way, both professionally and with a lovely family.

He said that tall men are at a key advantage:

1. More likely to be considered for leadership positions
2. Higher self-esteem
3. More successful on dating apps
4. Study shows that women would rather be with a tall man (over 6ft) who earns £30K less than shorter man

This really unsettled me. The reason it came up is because we were both discussing our sons. His is a year older and is having, finally, an adolescent growth spurt - and looks likely to be his height or taller.

My son is small, no spurt in sight. My husband is 5ft 8. I'm a few inches shorter. DH was a late developer, so i'm not worried yet. But who knows, he might not even be 5.8. I can't control that.

ANYWAY, I was upset last night. I kept thinking - I know my son will never be a giant. Is this really going to hold him up in life?

No. My DH is 5’ 7” (as am I) and wonderful. We have 2 DS, not worried at all what height they will be.

Hi OP I very much doubt it. The guy eveyone love in our local and he gets all the women is 5'5 I'm 5'2 and maybe one of very few women shorter than him.

Nothing stops him. He's ex- military, he's bloody lovely, fun and jokes about his height etc, he's great looking and all round a brilliant bloke.

I know and have dated plenty of shorter men, and find them to all be as lovely as the tall guys. I also have female friends who are married to men shorter than them.

I think it's a big non issue. And in work, wfh etc who cares how tall your boss is.

Well yes, obviously. In the same way that any other physical feature which is deemed more attractive is a positive.

Well I'm only 5'2 so 5'8 in a man is tall for me. I think my dh is 5'7 ish. I've never dated a taller man.

Is life generally easier for tall men?

Yes, I think while they're establishing themselves in the world, it is. By that I mean, entering their careers, dating and finding a partner. Etc.

Once they're established it makes very little difference.

I'm 5ft4, DH is 5ft7 we never give it a second thought.

Weird think to get upset about and is more likely to lead to you giving a complex to your son. Snap out of it. Who cares? There are women like me out there who don’t like tall men. My partner is 5’7”, owns his business, has enough confidence for 20 men and has never been short of dates.
Not even considering that your son may be an aspiring artist who is gay as so has no interest in corporate leadership politics or dating women.

DH is 5 ft 4 and the CEO of a major organisation. And he got me, and I’m very choosy.

I think there probably is some truth in it tbh, not universally but in some contexts for some people, humans are shallow. There are some short men in my family and they're very chippy about it, my DH is what I assume a normal average height, not especially tall but not short so probably has no impact on his life either way, I really hope our sons get to his height!!

My short husband's view is he has more than his fair share of privilege from being a white middle aged man from a middle(ish) class background, living in a rich country, with a university education, non-abusive parents, no serious trauma in his past. Plus he's got me and 2 lovely kids, and we're awesome🤣

He's doing ok.

I have two sons around 5ft 8 - they have done as well in life as their taller brothers - no problems with their height at all.

Thank you, I really appreciate your replies.

I think it's bollocks, I know loads of successful 'short' men with fab partners and I also know loads of tall 'attractive' men who are lazy knobs who sit on their arses all day and treat women like shit so can't maintain a decent relationship.

IMHO it’s largely accurate.

Me and my GF’s are all attracted to taller men - they just seem to exude a more quiet confidence, and are less try hard ‘pick mes’. Shorter men are generally chippier - I’ve seen how they act around my DH - they kind of puff themselves up and out.

Others like shorter men so each to their own.

Just my observation.

I don’t think of 5’8 as an especially short man, maybe if he was finished growing at 5’2.

Keir Starmer is 5’8” apparently, Boris Johnson was 5’7”, Alan sugar and Simon cowell are all similar height. They’ve definitely all held leadership positions!

I was thinking this as well.

The ops kid will have just about every other privilege and advantage in the book, the main one that he's male, but no, focus on the one thing that someone else has an advantage over him, and suddenly it's not fair.

But you have no idea what advantages he has? You've assumed we're white and middle class?

Boris Johnson was 5’7”, Alan sugar and Simon cowell are all similar height. They’ve definitely all held leadership positions!

Not exactly a good list for disproving 'short man syndrome' though 😬 probably a good list to demonstrate what the insecurity can drive them to....

In the same way that if you had a daughter who was pretty, slim and blonde she would have certain advantages over the chubby plain girls. Its just the way life is

There’s plenty of research on this, readily available on the internet. I’d recommend reading it.

I'm a 5'8" woman and I don't think a 5'8" man is even short. Not tall obviously, but average height really.

If your child is healthy and has access to a good education (like most have in the UK), has loving parents, he's blessed.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/standing

Worth a quick read.

Maybe life is a bit easier for tall men just like maybe life is a bit easier for really attractive people but as PP have said there are many different ways in which we can advantage over others.

I would say worrying about it won;t achieve anything and might give your son issues he wouldn't otherwise have with his height.

The only time I see this as being an issue is when insecure incel type men rant on about it on Reddit. Going on about 'chad' types who get all the women. In reality it's not the height, it's their lack of confidence. A lot of my friends are partnered with men of a range of heights and some are short but still very successful and happy.

Personally I prefer a man taller than me, but as I'm 5' 11 the men I've been in long term relationships with are often my own height or slightly shorter as I don't often meet taller men. I've dated a couple of men lots shorter than me in the past and they didn't like it in the long run, it made them feel less masculine. They took that out on me with their bad attitude, complaining if I wore heels, so it was a non starter. So the issue there was their confidence and how it manifested rather than the height itself. I think if you bring your ds up to be confident in himself then that will outweigh any height insecurities he might feel in the future.

There are advantages and disadvantages to all physical characteristics.

Taller men are:

• less likely to get diabetes and dementia
• likely to earn more than shorter men
• have a shorter life expectancy than shorter men
• seen as more attractive
• more likely to have back issues

its just the same as people who are born towards the end of the school year are less likely to be pro athletes.

most of it is to do with confidence so you stressing over it is only going to cause more problems.