Do you think this is true about short v tall men?

[Agogog]

I had a conversation with a male friend who is about 5ft 8. Very successful, by the way, both professionally and with a lovely family.

He said that tall men are at a key advantage:

1. More likely to be considered for leadership positions
2. Higher self-esteem
3. More successful on dating apps
4. Study shows that women would rather be with a tall man (over 6ft) who earns £30K less than shorter man

This really unsettled me. The reason it came up is because we were both discussing our sons. His is a year older and is having, finally, an adolescent growth spurt - and looks likely to be his height or taller.

My son is small, no spurt in sight. My husband is 5ft 8. I'm a few inches shorter. DH was a late developer, so i'm not worried yet. But who knows, he might not even be 5.8. I can't control that.

ANYWAY, I was upset last night. I kept thinking - I know my son will never be a giant. Is this really going to hold him up in life?

I think average height men (5'7 to 5'9 IMO) can be sexy/charismatic as long as they do not show signs of 'short-man syndrome' 😁

Height and men is a sensitive subject. Just as looks and weight are triggers for a lot of women . Watch married at first sight to confirm that .

I think most women want a man the same height as them or taller .

Plenty of women aren't physically attracted to fat men. I would say weight is as much as issue for men as for women, in modern dating. With the explosion of gym/wellness culture it is expected that a single man keeps fit and active. If he wants to attract a fit, slim woman anyway.

I'm the tallest in my close friendship group, and definitely not the most confident or successful. In fact, the shortest one is, by some margin.

I can however hide things out of sight of short people, which is useful if we have chocolate biscuits in the house.

Confidence goes a long way in my opinion.

The richest man I know is about 5 foot 6. He’s a really nice guy, he made his money by working hard and being entrepreneurial, he has a beautiful (short!) wife, 2 lovely kids, grandchildren, a beautiful big house, he retired at about 40 and spends his time with his family and travelling the world. Being short never held him back! He has the perfect life!

On average, yes those statements are all true. However, the thing with averages is that there are always outliers.

My DH is 5"7 with shoes on 😂He's very successful, earns well, happy, healthy, thriving social life etc.
Has the research been conclusive that height is the cause of the advantages tall men have?

Well at a population level it may be true but it certainly hasn’t been my experience. I don’t think I’ve actually ever met someone with short man syndrome, however I have met plenty of lanky idiots who think being tall is a personality trait. I know plenty of confident short men and plenty of insecure tall ones so I don’t think it’s necessarily an indicator.

My DH is short but confident, attractive and successful, he’s certainly never had a problem getting a partner, his ex is a (low level) model. On the other hand I have two male cousins who are both over 6’ and late 20s/30s and have never had a girlfriend (not for want of trying), so again I don’t think it’s universally true that tall men get all the girls. Tall or short there’s usually something that can be found for others to pick on (ginger, big ears, big nose etc.) and there are also lots of reasons people may not fancy someone that are nothing to do with height, there are plenty of really unattractive (to me) tall blokes. Incidentally I don’t think any of our (all male) Board at work are over about 5’10 and several must be 5’6 or shorter.

If I have a son he’ll probably be short, it’s not something that worries me and if he expresses concern about it I’ll be pointing to his father and saying height is just one small part of a person and it’s never held your dad back, focus on being a good person and doing your best as there will always be something negative about everyone so don’t let it get you down.

It will make him less attractive to some women in the same way that not having supermodel good looks holds many women back. I’m sure he’ll do absolutely fine in life and you won’t end up with a DIL who is so shallow she only goes for 6ft+ men.

I’ve never understood the height thing. I have never had a certain height as a criteria. I think Dh is 5’9” I don’t actually know for sure. I think I’m about 5’4”. He’s a really great guy and his height has never held him back in any way.

I once dated a tall guy, 6’2” (only knew because he was always telling everyone) and he was a prick. Once blocked me in a doorway on a night out while he screamed in my face and I swear was going to punch me but didn’t. Heard his next girlfriend was attacked by him but he denied it and his now wife I saw with two black eyes a few times early in their relationship. Lucky escape there.
Dh isn’t nice because he’s a shorter bloke and ex isn’t a prick because he’s over 6 foot, he’s just a prick that happens to be tall.

I do think there is an obsession with height with a lot of women though, many of my friends ‘wouldn’t dare’ (their words) date a short guy so in turn some shorter men may feel at a disadvantage because of that, whether that creates a bias in the professional world though, I’m really not sure.

Agree. 'Short Man Syndrome' is definitely a thing.

I wouldn't waste time thinking about it, everyone has a mix of advantages and disadvantages but confidence, charisma and kindness matter so much more than physical characteristics so focus on helping your son develop those valuable traits. Look at people like Tom Holland, who has a successful, taller girlfriend and is considered attractive himself and exudes charisma and not insecurity (IMO)
A lot of those studies on physical attractiveness are done in the abstract. I think most of us would answer we'd rather be with someone who had more money, had a musical talent, cooked well, had no genetic illnesses in their family, or had a MIL we got on with than someone who didn't, if you're asked the question on paper. In reality none of that matters much compared to having compatible lifestyles, values and having fun together.
5' 8 is also lower end of average rather than short, so not even a height that's likely to get singled out.

I think there is a grain of truth in this!

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/tall-man-thinks-its-an-achievement-20190215182505

It’s definitely true on dating sites, where people have a shopping list mentality. I have two friends who both insist any man they date is over 6 foot. They’re also quite shallow in other ways. Neither has had a happy relationship for many years and one discounted an absolutely perfect guy who made her laugh, was living the life she wanted, had property abroad and would have been so good for her, because he was the same height as her - 5’6.

I’ve dated men from 5’4” to 6’3” and and now with the latter, despite not being fussed about height, because he’s a wonderful man. Had Mr 5’4” not been such a dickhead I’d have never met my current DP!

For anyone who matters, height is of no significance, and while it may be beneficial in terms of first impressions, you still need the goods to back it up.

In a work situation, certain roles eg sales might benefit from a physical impact, but most job requirements would focus on ability and commitment, so being a well rounded and accomplished individual is going to be much more important.

I have two sons, one 5’8 and one 6’ and both are very successful. The taller one definitely has some added confidence due to his physical impact, but he also puts in a lot of effort networking and making a great impression on bosses, which he could also do as a less tall man!

If it does exist, it’s the result of how they are treated/perceived rather than the cause.

5ft 8 isn't short. Your friend needs to stop blaming his height for his failures.

Maybe the CEO title helped you with your decision.

My Dad and Brother are both short - 5ft 6 and 5ft 7. They both have short man syndrome. It hasn't held my dad back financially. But both of them hate being referred to as short and my Mum and SIL cant wear heels.

The biggest advantage of birth is being born to middle class parents.

I much rather be the daughter of a doctor than the son of a labourer.

I’m 5’9” and was told as a child by my mother that I was not delicate and was therefore less attractive than my shorter friends. For this reason, men shorter than I was made me feel unattractive and clunky. I therefore preferred taller men - DH is taller than I am.

I'm 5'"5. I've always felt that I've had to try that bit harder to gain success.

Getting selected In sports teams at a young age when height wasn't a factor. I gave up team sports at an early age but have been individually quite successful in sport

Relationships - when the tall, dark and handsome criteria is laid out, you fall at the first hurdle. Incidentally I fall at all three 😀

Career, I feel shorter men need to be more vocal to get themselves heard. This can be perceived as being shouty. It may be similar to how some women feel when they are perceived as being aggressive at work when they are acting in exactly the same manner as their male colleagues.

Not a disadvantage as such but clothing can be a bloody nightmare to get the fit right and feel that you look smart..

None of the above can't be overcome except maybe the last. I wouldn't let it concern you other than accepting that like many in life, its a 'small' additional challenge you live with

Not this again. DH is 5' 7"; DS is 5' 6". Both are successful in academia, career and relationships. DS' first girlfriend was taller than him and they were together for 2.5 teenage years. I am only 4" 9" but have had boyfriends from about 5" 6" to over 6' 0". This seems to be a Northern European / American thing. No-one in Western / Southern Europe cares about height.

Not a disadvantage as such but clothing can be a bloody nightmare to get the fit right and feel that you look smart..

I think this is an advantage tbh as almost all DH’s suits are tailored or custom made and therefore often look much smarter than men who just get them straight off the rack.

Yes, there have been a few research studies that showed that height is correlated with being more successful and perceived to be more favourable in many ways including being more intelligent.

My dd is tiny and I think ds might also be. I worry for them. It's of course not the only thing that shapes their life (like being summer born) but it's just another thing that doesn't make life easier.