Bad ending to holiday with friend, AIBU here?

[ExhaustedAbroad1]

My friend of years invited me to go on a mini break with him, it was to be my first time abroad. He has been trying to persuade me to come away for ages now.

Being an experienced traveller he offered to sort the accommodation and make all of the arrangements.

The accommodation he booked is a twin room. 3 nights. We've never slept in the same room overnight before.

He then mentions that he snores. It worried me a bit as I'm a light sleeper and had a crap time of it with a loudly snoring exH.

I got some ear plugs and figured they would take the edge off. They haven't. His snoring is just as bad as my exH, probably even worse tbh. Ear plugs totally useless.

I didn't sleep well the night before we came away as I was nervous about flying so I was already tired when I got here.

Night 1 I managed a broken 4 hours because of the snoring, he then jumps out of bed at 5.30am bright eyed and busy tailed to get ready for the day and puts the big light on so I get up. I was that exhausted I fell asleep twice on the way to and from an excursion.

Night 2 was much of the same. I had to ask him, gently, to try moving positions as the snoring was off the charts. Barely any sleep for me again and this morning he jollied me along and insisted we go for a massive walk first thing. I'm not a very confident person and didn't feel able to say no. That is my issue I know.

24,000 steps on my pedometer by the end of the night and I'm so tired I feel ill. I laid here for about 2 and a half hours desperately trying to fall asleep because we have to leave at 6am in the morning for our flight home. Snoring like mad again.

I eventually had the idea to put some white noise on my phone next to my ear to hopefully drown it out a bit so I could atleast get a few hours in.

It must have worked eventually because the next thing I know I'm startled awake to him standing over me, incredibly pissed off, demanding that I turn it off because it woke him up. I never spoke to him in any way shape or form like that despite keeping me up for three nights.

Off he goes back to snore sleep.

I'm just sitting here crying now.

I couldn't afford to spend out on another room or I would have done.

Was I being unreasonable here?

Also you never know. Plenty of posts on here about people who have been hurt by someone they completely trusted.

Go with your instincts. Just in case.

Is it too late to get your own room?

Thanks for the replies, they're getting me through a long night 😐

I put my headphones on and resumed playing the white noise straight into my ears and I could still hear him over it.

Tonight is the worst it has been.

I'm considering taking a blanket and pillow and going to lay outside in the hallway. It's driving me insane.

Yeah it is. It's 3:08am here and the reception is closed. I don't think I even have enough money left anyway.

Record his snoring, and download a decibel meter and use that too.

Then when he claims its not that bad, play it back to him and tell him he needs to get a referral to a sleep clinic as it sounds like has sleep apnea.

Hallway sounds like a good option tbh.

If he is on his back you could try rolling him onto his side. It might not last long though. Maybe put a pillow behind him so he can't easily roll back.

It's this post @ExhaustedAbroad1 that twigged me to question your relationship and suggest ending the friendship. I suspect he's your "safe" guy, but you choose a "type" and he just showed it.

From his point of view though he got woken up by you playing random noise- and asked you to turn it off - you said he wasnt aggressive/shouty - probably normal reaction for being woken up in the middle of the night. He doesn't know that you haven't slept because of his snoring - he doesn't know you are a light sleeper - because you haven't told him - he might not even know he snores!
Have you told him any of this? if you had told him and he ignored it thats one thing but he doesn't know!!

I'd have absolutely lost it with him when he woke me up. Stupid twat.

Is there an en-suite? Can you sleep in the bath? (Beats the hallway)!

Yes me too.

On the lines of how the fuck else am I supposed to fucking sleep through your fucking snoring which is enough to drive anyone to fucking murder

Record him snoring... Just in case you need to prove to him how bad it is

Is there an en-suite bathroom? Pile the duvet and pillows in the bath

He knows he snores because he told me as much when he booked the room and said he hopes that he won't keep me up.

He is also aware that he has been keeping me up as I've asked him (very nicely) on two seperate occasions if he would please change his sleeping position as when he's on his back the snoring goes from a 7 to being off the charts.

There is an en suite but no bath unfortunately, only a narrow shower

Do you think so Mumtobabyhavoc?

I'll have to have a serious think about that. It's possible people are seeing something that I overlooked.

I'm sorry. I know how terrible sleep deprivation is.

I'm with those saying end the friendship when you get home. This is all very weird, aggressive and domineering. Fucking odd that he booked a twin without checking in the first place - that's complete over reach.

Don’t get up in the morning. Say I’m catching up on essential sleep, since you think it’s fine to keep me awake but totally not allowed for me to keep you awake. Go away, I’m too exhausted to be nice.

Waking you up at 5.30 was incredibly rude and selfish. Who wants to get up at that sort of time on holiday?

He sounds awful. I could not deal with sharing a room for that long, let alone with a snoring man. At least tomorrow you'll be in your own bed and need not go on holidays with him ever again. Waking you up at 5.30am is a dick move too. People who mess with your sleep are a walking red flag in my opinion. It's so selfish to wake up someone sleeping peacefully unless you need to.

Lie on your side and put the pillow over your other ear - it really helps drown the snores out

She’ll miss her flight home if she does that.

Oh do they leave today? Ok go home, sleep, and remember this is him- not a good friend and doesn’t actually care what you think/ how you feel or about your wellbeing.

He sounds bossy and unreasonable. I wouldn't want to travel with someone so aggressive they got uptight about white noise.

That being said, I quite often travel and share with friends and find this bone conductor speaker invaluable for sleeping. I can drift off to audio books or podcasts into the night and my roommate can't hear a thing.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0BJ2GL7MH/ref=ppx_od_dt_b_asin_title_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

IDK. There are snores and snores! We have one friend who can wake people on the top floor of our house whilst sleeping 3 shut doors away on the ground floor.

our youngest son was similar. His tiny body seemed to have an inbuilt echo chamber that made his snores reverberate for metres.

His reaction was terrible. If he knows he's a snorer he shouldn't have booked you into the same room. And to be furious that we was woken up by white noise? Blehh.

I've got to say though- I'm a snorer & I genuinely can't help it. The 1st time I stayed overnight with a new partner I deliberately kept myself awake so I wouldn't bother him. The 3rd time I feel asleep and he had to go to his spare bedroom to escape the noise. I felt awful and haven't stayed the night since.

I'm sorry you've had such a crap time and I too would be reviewing the friendship, given how unsympathetic he's being. Not nice.