AIBU for feeling so sad for DS this Xmas

276 replies

billytiina · 15/10/2024 08:43

DS is 5...both DH and mine families are shit shows.
For context my dad smokes like a chimney, would be happy to have us over for Xmas but cannot grasp we don't want DS to breathe in chain smoking all day. He won't budge on this.
My mum is very anxious and controlling, while she cares she makes spending time with her very very difficult.
My sister lives two streets away, hates any family time and used the fact my nephews are teenagers to avoid spending any time with my son.
My in laws live several hours away..when they have come down in the past they contribute nothing, get us to wait on them hand & foot and spend the entire time telling us how much money they have/fancy holidays/a bigger house than us.
AIBU to really resent all our families and feel sorry for DS as all his friends will have lovely family Xmas with people making a fuss of them?

OP posts:

kikisparks · 28/10/2024 18:09

trelawney59 · 27/10/2024 11:05

We’re a family of 2. 1 adult and 1 DC with no wider family at all.
We make our own Christmas cake and DC has decorated it since they were a toddler - now 11. We cook a Ginger star biscuit Christmas tree for Father Christmas and DC decorates this.
We have an obscure tree decoration- each year a new one appears on the tree for Christmas Day on the same theme.

I bought a packet of baubles with bells inside that I wrote the different names of the reindeer’s on. Each year a different reindeer bauble bell is found on the lawn when the magic door key box is retrieved. One year a real deer antler was purchased and put on the lawn (ok not a reindeer antler but as a pre schooler - close enough to be a cherished item on the bookshelf in DCs room.
We watch the Box of Delights during Advent each year too. As well as going to a local Christmas story in a beautiful location with Christmas lights.
Each year Father Christmas writes a handwritten personal letter to my DC. Which is stamped with a North Pole ink stamp etc. Look at Tolkien’s letters that he wrote from Father Christmas to his own children. This always includes something that they’ve done that’s thoughtful/kind.
We also have certain stocking presents each year. The same number of fruit canes put on the tree as their age.
DC has decorated the tree since being a toddler too. We put on our Christmas jumpers, wacky hats and glasses as well as playing Christmas music.
We play lots of different board and card games.
DC will help to prepare our Christmas meal and enjoys decorating the table.
We have special decorations that come out every year and eat by candlelight.
It is what you make it. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of devising our Christmas traditions. It doesn’t have to cost the earth. Just spending time together is important to us.
Have fun with your Christmas and don’t worry about all those social media posts of the perfect family Christmas- the reality is often not as great as they make out.

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This is all so lovely, you will have given your DC so many magical memories 😊

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