issues with lodger

[lodger]

Hi

Hoping for a bit of clarity and in need of a chat about my lodger. He's only been
here for a few weeks but ive found it challenging having someone in my home space. Tonight he bought back a friend with no prior warning and occupied the kitchen space and cooked for friend and they both ate at the table, chatting away. I found it quite rude to not give me the heads up that he was bringing a guest back and cooking dinner. I had to make my dinner then leave the kitchen as they were clearly chatting and eating and I felt like a third wheel. He is my lodger and I find this quite rude. Am I being unreasonable in expecting him to tell me that he's bringing a friend home? He also makes very loud phone calls alot of the time and hooks his calls up to an external speaker so that I can hear his conversations very clearly. his room is above mine. Again I find this quite disrespectful. Some viewpoints would be handy. Im not used to having people in my home and I lost my husband last year to cancer so its a big deal to have someone living in my space. Its an adjustment

Female lodgers aren’t always better, though. With a female lodger you never know what men might be given access to your property.

One of my worst experiences was with a nice female lodger who would go out to work leaving her aggro boyfriend hanging around the lounge and kitchen all day awaiting her return.

After a while I put a stop to it, she moved out, and overall it was an ugly situation. I couldn’t have predicted him being part of the package.

You’re legally obligated to give a week’s notice at minimum or whatever your rental payment period is (the latter if longer)

But a live-in landlord’s duty to ensure their own safety overrides standard notice periods.

The lodger’s bad behaviour will only worsen during a notice period. He should be on best behaviour at the moment - he’s only been living with OP a fortnight!

OP can also make a cal to the police non emergency line so that there is a paper trail recording her fears and why she is giving him 48 hours notice.

What’s he done that involves calling the police?

Eaten an edible gift and moved a key!

Has OP called 999?

I suggested OP call 101, the police non emergency line, just to leave a record of why she’s giving the lodger 48 hours notice.

They may yawn and say it’s a civil affair, but the call will be recorded. That might come in useful to OP in future, for example if he tries to kick up a stink legally that he’s not been allowed to serve out a long notice period.

Theft and dishonesty are just two of the issues with this lodger so far.

Telling him that she’s spoken to the police may press upon him the seriousness of the situation as well.

Sorry what did he steal?

Can a friend from up north come and have a visit with you whilst your lodger searches for new digs?

You can’t override statutory housing laws because you think someone lied about an aspect of their personal life unrelated to the lodging arrangement.

Can you make mini kitchen In the lodger living space so does not need to share kitchen with you?

Ending an excluded tenancy requires "reasonable notice" which is usually the rental period, I think OP said he pays monthly so it would be a month. I really don't think moving a key to a shed and potentially eating an edible gift are reasons to fear for safety, while they might be irritating or unsettling for the OP.

You might tell him that you don't feel it's working out, and want to give him his notice of a month but would happily accept if he wants to leave earlier.

In practice OP will be absolutely fine to give 48 hours notice if she argues that this man makes her feel unsafe in her home.

No court in the land would award the lodger any damages against her, and the police wouldn’t force her to take him back in.

Have you not read all of OP’s earlier posts? It’s more than that.

Also this lodgers’ behaviour may well get much worse after he’s been told to leave.

She might well ‘get away with’ throwing someone out on the streets with zero notice (and breaking the law), however there is absolutely no legitimate basis to do this.

You could say the same about all sorts of things.

OP could probably ‘get away with’ nicking a sandwich from Sainsburys.

Doesn’t make it the right thing to do (or legal).

You’re getting some terrible advice here OP.

The comments saying you've made a mistake are harsh. Some disordered/messed up people don't show their colors for a long time.

Has he said he lived in your home specifically for six months/two yrs, or just in the area? Sorry op that you don't feel safe in your home after everything you've been through.

To be fair. I don’t think I did 😂😂😂😂

my bad

That is incorrect advice. For a lodger, the law envisages 'reasonable notice'. A week or any other term is not specified. Reasonable notice in normal circumstances would consider the lodger needing to find somewhere else and would typically envisage the occupancy being from rent period to rent period, and therefore give a similar period of notice: if paid monthly, a month's notice or if paid weekly, a week's notice.

But the idea of reasonable notice is to allow for other circumstances, recognising that the landlord is living in the house with the lodger and the more usual period of notice may not be practical or suitable and indeed there may be no notice in certain cases, for example, if there's unacceptably bad conduct or threat or danger. The landlady would need to protect herself and her home.

It's not been my experience. I lodged plenty and had a full use of communal areas and even an occasional dinner with the family.
We now have our own lodger and we include him in everything. When I cook, I cook for the entire household including him, and he does the same couple of times a week. He does prefer his own company but we would be absolutely fine if he wanted to socialise with us.
It's not a given that lodgers stay in their room. It is up to the host and the lodger to discuss expectations.

Taking control of things in what way? Among all the "he is a really nice guy" posts OP has written, there is one mention of moving a shed key and one mention of him living in the area for two years. Moving key is annoying for sure, not convinced it was in any way malicious. Living in the area for two years is a bit of a weird thing to feel unsafe about... I don't see how this is relevant at all.

It’s just more difficult when it’s a landlady/ landlord living alone. There isn’t the natural order which the lodger will have to fit themselves around when it’s with a family or couple. There’s more likely to be a power struggle and for the lodger to try to assert control

@threeunrelatedwords yes I've read all of them and haven't seen anything that indicates she isn't safe.

• Inconsiderate use of a kitchen
• phone calls using speakers
• an inconsistent story about how long he's lived in the area
• a moved key; and
• a missing edible gift

are all reasons why the OP might not be compatible sharing a space with this lodger, but none of it rings alarm bells for me in terms of safety.

I have experience of having to get rid of a particularly unpleasant male lodger. He didn't move out on leaving day so when he nipped out the house we had the locks changed. My brother moved in for a couple of days while he eventually removed his belongings.

I have empathy for the OP, it can be very uncomfortable. I just don't think it's wise to create a safety risk out of thin air in order to bypass the rules.

Yep all of this.

Calling it a safety issue is just disingenuous.

OP just doesn’t like him.

I don’t think OP is responsible enough to have a lodger to be honest. You can’t just throw people out on the street because the arrangement no longer suits you or you’ve taken a disliking to them.

What a load of bunkum.

Shelter and Citizen’s Advice Bureau