To tell my friend that her husband is trying to cheat on her - with me?

[ThisLoudBeaker]

My friend’s husband has been DMing me inappropriate messages for weeks, and while I’ve brushed them off, I’m starting to think I should tell her. But I know this would blow up her family, and she’ll probably hate me more than him. AIBU to stay quiet and avoid the drama?

I’d have screenshot it and blocked him with the first message and showed the friend.

Perfect Imo

Op let us know how you get on
.

Even the very thread title indicates to me that the Op is somewhat of a Drama Llama

Well it gets to the nub of the issue.
How would you have written the title ?

Friend’s sleazy husband messaging me

That gets to the nub too.

in any event, the Op has wandered off

back to messaging no doubt

I’m not surprised with the amount of people here frothing at the mouth and falling over themselves to blame her for his shitty behaviour.

Some of your responses were definitely flirty (the haha you're a joker) even if you didn't intend them to be.
I would have blocked him first time.

You can't show her now as she will rightly feel you've been going along with it... just block him.

It's just a horrible situation to be in. There are no winners here. The only good that could come of it is that it opened the OP's eyes to how some men behave and might strengthen her boundaries in the future.
Women are socialised from a young age to please people, manage male emotions, and not rock the boat.
A lot of men wouldn't give the time of day to a woman they didn't find attractive, so they project this same thought process onto women. If a women doesn't immediately shut them down then they assume there is interest there. To us it's just friendly chatter, we don't tend to ignore people we don't find attractive, because that feels rude ,also men are unpredictable and don't take rejection well. So we learn to 'let them down gently' and handle their emotions for our safety.
Now as someone older. I make it crystal clear that there is no attraction from the off and shut down men pretty quickly if there is no attraction. Its sad really that some men just can't be friends with women. But I learned the hard way as a young woman, that just being friendly and pleasant to some men was misconstrued as a green light to get inappropriate.

Yes I think this works as well as anything. It seeks to deescalate and provides a reason as to why op was bantery back. Friend might still be livid… but I think this is as much as op can do at this juncture.

I take it you're single, OP? If not, I'd be getting the other half to wade in and warn him off.

Generally, you need to screen shot all of his messages and block him.

If he's prepared to do that so close to home he's absolutely trying elsewhere.

Your poor friend deserves to know but I understand your hesitance, considering it could massively affect your friendship.