To announce pregnancy at birthday party

[MyJollyLion]

My mother is having a party soon to celebrate a milestone birthday.

Husband and I have been TTC for almost a couple of years now, which mum knows about and is excited for. We’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, and the date of her party will be just after our 12 week scan, so we wanted to announce it at the party - nobody knows yet.

I’m youngest child and this will be my first baby. Mum has three grandkids already, all are young adults now and one of those has two kids too. Mum is very maternal and loves having babies and kids in the family.

I think she will be delighted for us but just wondering if it’s poor form to announce at her birthday party, is it like a lesser version of announcing it at a wedding or something.

Poor form. Tell her the next day.

why - why would you want to do that ?

it's your mother's day.

not yours !

Like others have said I'd tell your mum before the party. It's her day , she will likely be super excited and want to tell everyone at the party but it should be her choice not yours.
Congratulations btw!

No! Tell her first and ask if she wants you to announce to everyone else.

I would tell her before she he party (earlier that day) and ask her whether she's ok for you to make a more general announcement or should you do it after the party. Pretty sure most grandmothers to be would love you to announce at the party but they also like to be told before hand so they are first!!!

Tell her before the party but don't mention either of you announcing at the party. Unless she asks if she can. She can hardly say no, if you suggest it. Congratulations!

Definitely DO NOT do this unless you speak to your mum first.

If you want to tell her a few days before and then ask her thoughts on announcing at the party, fine, but don’t just blindside her at her celebration.

I'd tell her at the party as she will be thrilled and see if she wants to make an announcement. She may be really excited to do so - or may want to have her own limelight, up to her.

Tell her now. Tell her when the scan is and that that only she will know until you have had a successful scan to confirm all is well.

Mum should be told beforehand.

I'd say the same if it was anyone else's birthday party.

I suspect a lot of the replies here are from younger folk, rather than the grannies. People who are still getting married themselves or have young children and bothered about daft things such as guests having to dress in certain colours at a wedding and other nonsense.

I’m having a significant birthday (party) next year and if one of the DIL’s announce she was pregnant, I’d be so thrilled. It would be the icing on the cake.

As you’re the youngest and have been TTC for a little while, I imagine your mum will be ecstatic with the news. People our age really don’t care much for celebrating our own birthdays but we really enjoy everything to do with the wider family. That’s what really makes us happy. 😊

I’m surprised at these results, I don’t think it’s bad to announce at the party. You must know she’d have a positive reaction to be considering it (even if others here wouldn’t). But how would you plan to do it? Are you doing a speech anyway? I feel like it’d need to be part of a bigger toast about your mum?

On the other hand I personally think I’d prefer to tell her separately ahead of time so you can both really savour it. She’ll probably have lots of questions, want to know how you’re doing, want to gush over your scan pics. You’ll just have a bit more space to do that not in the party setting.
p.s. Congratulations!

It's terribly rude!!! Especially for a milestone birthday.

My sister announced her pregnancy at my 18th birthday party and I still feel annoyed by it.

The thing is, even if your mum is OK with I am going to guess that maybe some family members are going to wonder why you needed to make it about you.

It's almost like you want to take the spotlight off her. Or at least that's how it could come across.

Why not let it be about her that day?

Tell them before or after.

Christ no. A party isn't the place to announce to everyone you've been shagging unprotected. Tell your mum afterwards.

I actually think it is a really lovely idea and would make it very special for her - congratulations BTW

People here are so weird. Of course tell her when you get there, if she's like my mum it will be the best birthday present ever. Although I wouldn't make an "announcement" to the whole room, but tell people as I chat to them.

When you say announce, what do you mean? Like, stand up and make a speech to the entire room about how you're pregnant? Or tell people individually as part of a conversation? The former is insane, the latter is fine IMO.

I'd say please don't but on the other hand, you can announce it as some sort of special birthday gift to your mum ('Hey you'll be a grandma again!' type of thing as opposed to it being about you and your dh's journey) only if you know she'd be ecstatic and won't mind.

(Mine certainly wouldn't mind and would think it's the best birthday ever for the news - I'm the same but I wouldn't announce it if I wasn't sure).

Also if it has to be about you and dh, then don't announce and just tell her and others at a more appropriate time.

A bigger toast about her mum, where she announces to everyone that she is pregnant?

That will dwarf anything else she says about her mum so will actually make the speech about her and her partner and their news.

YABU. I'm sure she'll be thrilled but let this special day be all about HER.
She's not only defined by her role as a mother/grandmother/great grandmother.
And congratulations!

I would be delighted to receive such lovely news at my birthday party. I don't know whether OP's mum would feel the same so OP probably should tell her beforehand and ask whether it would be OK to announce her pregnancy at the party.

Absolutely not! the birthday party is your mums big day! why do you want to steal that away from her just so you can be the centre of attention?

Congratulations but honestly, i would keep your little secret a bit longer.

Tell her privately.

It’s her birthday party, it isn’t about you, however lovely your news. And who ‘announces’ pregnancies in this way? Surely you tell your closest people privately and anyone else when relevant, and leave it at that.

@itwasnevermine I can see why an 18 year old would hate it. But for a grandma (at least a normal, loving grandma) it would be a wonderful birthday gift. It's not just a new baby for OP but a new grandchild for her mother and she will be delighted.