To announce pregnancy at birthday party

[MyJollyLion]

My mother is having a party soon to celebrate a milestone birthday.

Husband and I have been TTC for almost a couple of years now, which mum knows about and is excited for. We’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, and the date of her party will be just after our 12 week scan, so we wanted to announce it at the party - nobody knows yet.

I’m youngest child and this will be my first baby. Mum has three grandkids already, all are young adults now and one of those has two kids too. Mum is very maternal and loves having babies and kids in the family.

I think she will be delighted for us but just wondering if it’s poor form to announce at her birthday party, is it like a lesser version of announcing it at a wedding or something.

i think it simply depends on your relationship with your mother. My own mother would have been delighted to share “her” celebration with me, and I know that I’d be delighted to share my own with my daughter. Other families have different dynamics. Do what feels right to you, and if you’re really unsure, talk to your mother in private first.

Jeez, there are some nasty posters on this forum.

Yet another poster who disappeared after getting a character assassination instead of advice.

Not just content to give an opinion, they really tried to upset the thread's poster as much as possible.

All she was doing was wondering if she should do it because she thought it might make her mum happy too. She didn't do it nor did she say is definitely going to.

How fucking dare she be happy to be pregnant after years of trying. We'll show her won't we.

Come on everybody...pile on. Look...look...aren't I clever and wise 🤣🤯🤢🤮😵💫
It's always the same sick twisted ones as well. Anything to drag other people down.

Who the fuck would bother actually starting a thread in this place a second time.

Usually I hate this sort of thing but as a mum I’d feel very different about this. I can’t ever imagine feeling upstaged by my children. I think it’s a nice thing to do to tell her privately first though, I’m sure you’d like that very special moment just with her. Huge congratulations to you.

Don’t spoil your Mums party . So selfish. If she wants to spread the news fine

That’s the point some people are making.

You say she didn’t have chance for her life to have something other than caring for others. So not a choice?

So maybe she would like this party to be just about celebrating her, given her main role seems to have been caring about everyone else.

It comes across as though you don’t really understand what people are saying. Or maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that after a life time of caring she may appreciate something just for her.

Though I dispute that those who do have a career are less family focused.

You know the answer. Don’t do it.

As a mum, I would be thrilled about your announcement and would not be in the slightest put out/offended, but I’m fairly difficult to offend! I would tell her before the party and let her decide to be on the safe side. Congratulations!

This.

Dont detract from your dm 'special day's.

I'd tell her privately at her party. She will be thrilled and then tell everyone, but you announcing it at 'her' party is poor form.

I expect a lot of you on this thread are younger than the OP's mother.
I'm probably not.
Once you get to a certain age, I would consider birthdays aren't necessarily the most important thing in life. The news of a new relation in your life is FAR more exciting/important.
I would not be offended / put out at all.

Would you not he disappointed not to have been told earlier? I don't do anything for my birthday, more than happy to have it entirely ignored but I'd be sad that daughter felt she couldn't tell me earlier or needed to dress it up with a gimmicky card or any of the other advice.

The birthday is a bit of a red herring really, it's the wanting to make a show of the telling rather than just telling that I think is a bit shitty.

I agree with @DappledThings

OP hasn't said how old her Mum is, but I am of 'Grandmother' rather than 'first time Mum' age, and I would very much appreciate my daughter (or son) telling me personally, ahead of most other people.
I think it's quite offensive that she thinks it is okay to tell my ex-colleagues, the little group I went to University with, my neighbours, and the gang from my hobby who have all gathered for a party to celebrate my birthday, at the same time as me. Don't I have a closer relationship with my daughter than she has with most of my friends?

I think you should tell your Mum on the morning of her party. Give her a small wrapped gift box with the news inside & then let her tell everyone the lovely news at her party if she choses to.

Tell your mum first - I’m sure she’ll be happy to share your news on her birthday. Congrats.🍾