To announce pregnancy at birthday party

[MyJollyLion]

My mother is having a party soon to celebrate a milestone birthday.

Husband and I have been TTC for almost a couple of years now, which mum knows about and is excited for. We’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, and the date of her party will be just after our 12 week scan, so we wanted to announce it at the party - nobody knows yet.

I’m youngest child and this will be my first baby. Mum has three grandkids already, all are young adults now and one of those has two kids too. Mum is very maternal and loves having babies and kids in the family.

I think she will be delighted for us but just wondering if it’s poor form to announce at her birthday party, is it like a lesser version of announcing it at a wedding or something.

I think it'd be lovely to announce.
You have lots of your family on the same room- chance to celebrate.
Maybe tell her first, but I'd be thrilled as a mum.

To be honest given her mum knows about the TTC I'm surprised she's not already been told. She'll be gutted

Because it's her Mum's day, not hers.

Absolute cringe fest.

Honestly, if one of my daughters didn't tell me about her pregnancy until after 12 weeks, I'd be devastated.

Let your Mum have her birthday party though. As a grandmother and an old bird (54), birthdays don't feel much in terms of celebrating so I'd let her have the day and tell her before. If she then shares it, that's on her terms.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Noooo don't.
Make plans to see your mum the week after or if you go back to her house after the party

Also, OP, you're probably going to have a fall back down to earth quite rapidly soon when you realise no one is as interested or invested in your kid as you are (even siblings when they may say otherwise)

Of course its a terrible thing to do

Never, ever announce anything at an event for someone else. It's selfish, self centred and thoughtless and puts you in the spotlight at someone else's event.

Let your mum just for once have something that is all about her. Sounds like she's had a lifetime of putting her family first. Let it be all about showing appreciation for her otherwise she will l imagine want it to be all about you two.

This

How old are you OP? If you are of child bearing age, your mum can’t be all that ancient where women did not have a chance at a career. This sounds like hyperbole to deflect that you do see her just in a mother/grand mother role.

i agree with previous posters - tell her beforehand and ask if she mind your making the announcement at her party.

"I don’t know what some people are thinking I mean by “announce” - I get the vibe some are imagining some kind of very self-centred type thing that you’d expect from some kind of social media influencer or something - that’s nothing like what we have in mind. It would be done very much in the context of a “special gift” for her"

Well OP you certainly sound like a self centred social media influencer - framing it with a coy phrase doesn't make it any less inappropriate.

The best advice has been given here multiple times - tell your Mum a few days before - my only caveat would be that if she then suggests telling everyone at the party you can do it with a clear conscience, but don't suggest that yourself - I get that you're extremely excited OP but I also get the impression that your Mum has been quite selfless in her life, don't make her be selfless again. If she enthusiastically says "Oh wow lets announce it at the party!" then great, otherwise, no, save your announcement for another time and let your Mum have her day.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I don’t think the party is the right time to announce your pregnancy.
what about a special gift to give her prior to the party? Maybe a little cheesy but something like a grandma baby gro or maybe one of those decorative things that says ‘only the best mums get promoted to grandma’. I think she will also enjoy being first to know.

Omg my mum would be so excited and joyous if I told her on her birthday that I was 12 weeks into a pregnancy (3 years ttc ivf and miscarriage). You know your mum best but I know my own would be woop wooping! Esp. if it's a family party and not an extravagant event. Congratulations :) 💐

Why do you have to announce it?

I am utterly baffled about your statement about announcing your pregnancy as a ‘special gift’ for your mother. That’s so funny and possibly the most self-obsessed thing I’ve read on here.

OP, your kid isn’t next in line for the throne. No one wants to hear an ‘announcement’ and it’s certainly not a ‘special gift’ for anyone else. It’s nice news for you and and your husband and…that’s about it? Catch on a bit - the world doesn’t revolve around you. Let your mother have her day.

IMO this is just as bad taste as announcing your engagement or pregnancy at someone elses wedding.
This is a party to celebrate your mother, and a milestone in her life.

The arguement that "everyone is together so will find out/celebrate together" isn't a good or respectable one, they're gathered to celebrate something important and significant for someone else, to announce a significant event of your own is plain hijacking.

Yes, you're excited, but this is a far bigger deal to you than everyone else, some people can get very blinkered and selfish.

I would think of it this way... telling her before the party means she then has two lovely things happening to her in the space of a day or two. I wouldn't jumble them up in one (potentially if alcohol is involved) hazy night

We don't know how old she is.

If she's only 60 the women/daughters/OP have had babies young.

My gran, my mum, me and my DD were all 30ish when we had our first so to be a great gran you'd be 90+.

When I found out, it was just before Christmas so I gave everyone an extra Christmas card from the baby so I could tell them all at once. How about a birthday card from baby, so it's a nice birthday surprise for her as you already know she'll be pleased, but it won't upstage the party?

Why don't you share the news with her, which she will love, and ask her permission to share it at the occasion?

This. My much-missed Mum felt it was her wee present and it was lovely

Sorry but I’m going to go against everybody else and say go for it. If I was your mum I would absolutely love to have this announcement on my birthday. It would be a perfect birthday present! 🎁

Im sorry but no. Why would you do that?

Please don't! Let her have her celebration to herself. Congratulations though!

Wishing you all the vest. O would give your mum a copy of the s a a d leave it up to her to announce it.if she wants to