To announce pregnancy at birthday party

[MyJollyLion]

My mother is having a party soon to celebrate a milestone birthday.

Husband and I have been TTC for almost a couple of years now, which mum knows about and is excited for. We’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, and the date of her party will be just after our 12 week scan, so we wanted to announce it at the party - nobody knows yet.

I’m youngest child and this will be my first baby. Mum has three grandkids already, all are young adults now and one of those has two kids too. Mum is very maternal and loves having babies and kids in the family.

I think she will be delighted for us but just wondering if it’s poor form to announce at her birthday party, is it like a lesser version of announcing it at a wedding or something.

Are you completely sure that no one in the family is having fertility issues? I’d personally find it very hard to hear news like this out of nowhere when I was expecting to celebrate something else. If someone in your immediate family is struggling then it might spoil their mums (or aunt or cousins) birthday party for them.. just a thought.

If you do it, make sure your mum knows and is on board first.

I wouldn't tell your mum at the same time as everyone else, her party or not.
Tell her first. It's a big deal!
Congratulations!

Announce your pregnancy ? Are you having a royal baby? Have you not learnt anything from the Mumsnet threads? No-one else is ever going to be excited about your baby news as you are! As a general rule it’s bad form to draw attention to yourself when the day is about someone else no matter how thrilled you think she is going to be! Like you said already had grandkids and great grandkids!

Ask your mum what she thinks.

It's your Mum's big day not yours. Tell your Mum the day after her birthday. Don't take the focus off of her on her birthday.

hi op,

I get it. You want to give her your good news as a present and that is lovely! But what you will also achieve is to have everyone litterally having to congratulate you…so taking the focus of the person you wanted to honor.

Please tell her just before and tell all the others after 🌺

and CONGRATS!!

This. It's her celebration.

I agree with this poster. I was about to vote YABU when I saw the title to the post, but when I read that it’s your first child, and your Mum’s birthday (not a friend or a sibling), I think she is unlikely to be anything other than thrilled for you and it will be the icing on the cake (as it were!). Is your Dad in the picture? If so you could run it past him first to get his view?

As a grandmother , if you are able to give her a birthday card with a scan photo in so she opens it on the morning of her birthday it would be fantastic even better if you both could be there when she opens it and then you could ask does she mind you announcing it at the party later. Congratulations both 💐

I would say this was the way to do it . Congratulations!

Tell your DM the day before and then if she chooses to she can announce it at the party. You announcing it would be poor form.

Congratulationson your pregnancy! * *

I think giving her a card or small wrapped gift beforehand (either the scan image or a 'Grandma'-themed item) would be even better, if you can manage to see her even just shortly before others arrive, if not the day or two before. 'Just an early birthday gift for you... I couldn't wait to give it to you!'

I don't think there would be a problem with telling her at the party, either, but this avoids the issue entirely and is still a sweet moment combining her birthday and your news.

It's not about your mum being offended by the announcement,
but more you making her day about you.

Like others have said, you could tell her before as it would also seem like you'd withheld it just so you can have your momemt on her day.

Goes for rest of the family who'll be there to celebrate her. Don't assume everyone will be happy for you to announce it, especially if others have contributed to the birthday.

I've seen it happen with siblings for an engagement announced at a birthday party.

You are rightly overjoyed to be parents to be, but don't assume everyone feels the same as unfortunately people are complicated.

My SIL gave her mother a ‘Happy Birthday, Granny!’ card with a scan photo inside and her mother, famously in family legend, glanced vaguely at the scan before crumpling it up with the envelope and chucking them in the recycling bin alongside, while chatting about something, and put the card on the kitchen mantelpiece without apparently noticing the front. SIL, overwrought and hormonal (first baby after several losses), dashed from the room in tears. MIL, when brought to book by her other daughter, said indignantly ‘Well, how was I supposed to know? I’m already a granny!’

I say this just to get anyone planning this kind of ‘reveal’ to think about whether they have averagely observant parents.

Not your birthday don’t make it about you

It would be very poor form to announce on her milestone birthday. I would be seriously pissed if I was your DM. Keep quiet and announce later on.

Let her birthday be about her.
You could discuss it with her beforehand and see how she feels about announcing it at her party.

Wowsers, she has a great grandchild, and you're having your first?

That's an interesting family make up!

Your niece's children being older than yours.

The youngest your mother is presumably can be is 65? But asita a "milestone " 70?

How old are you?

Just no. Its the one time that it's about your mum. It's not a time to make it about you

Really poor taste

Even if your mum is happy, if I was a guest I would think very badly of you and sorry for her. It completely changes the tone of the party. If you think your mum deserves celebrating then celebrate her and leave your own news out of it.

I would tell her before the party and then let her tell people at the party if that is what she wants. Then it is her choice, not something that is being forced upon her

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sure your mum will be thrilled and excited for another grandchild ☺️ I would tell her a couple of days before the party or afterwards - let her big day be all about her and show her how much you appreciate her!

Put a scan photo in her card & tell her to open it infront of everyone she will announce it for you x

Ah, make it a special private moment with you and your Mum first. If she's OK with it go on ti announce it at the party. Just speak to her before doing so.

Tell her privately that your "big" gift to her is a new grandchild, and let HER announce it if she wants to do so. If she does not, then wait. NEVER upstage the person for whom a celebration is being given.

GENERALLY I'd say it's taking the limelight. but maybe before or after give her a card with something like a scan picture, or a photo of the pregnancy test or something. she would be delighted. but I still don't think the limelight should be publically taken off her at the birthday celebration.