to be disappointed in this newborn present?

[mysticalgardens]

Friends of ours had their 1st baby a couple of months ago around the same time we had our 3rd baby.

Because it was their first child, I put great effort in buying them an amazing gift. I spent well over 100 pounds and put gifts in the box for the baby as well as the new mom and dad (think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)

I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift.

However, when they came over, she gave
me a bag from Shein. When I opened it it had the most disgusting plastic polyester smell. It contained a pink towel and a pink body suit for my baby girl that were made out of really cheap polyester material.

It smelled so bad that I threw it away after they had left.

My sister is due to have her 3rd child at the end of November. She already has a lot, but I bought her some nice socks, body suits and trousers for the baby from Asda (George). The stuff is really lovely and was inexpensive.

So I know that nice baby clothes don't have to cost a lot at all.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed that they made 0 effort when choosing their present?

Are you on the wine GoldCat or are you always so vile?

I'd be disappointed too, maybe she looked online thought it looked nice and then couldn't afford anything else. Maternity pay is a real shock the first time around.

You ANBU to be disappointed you said thank you so she doesn't know you were upset by it which is all that matters.

She thought of you and spent time searching online for a gift, if you have ever been on the shein website you'll know there's thousands of items on there so she definitely put some effort on, unfortunately it didn't pay off and she learnt the hard way.

I am with the others on this. You don’t give to get! Especially as it’s not your first. You probably have tons of baby stuff already. People have different tastes/likes etc. I am generally happy with whatever I get especially as I never expect people to splash out on me! I have a newborn too (our first) I didn’t even have a baby shower as I didn’t want to put anyone out but I did get some lovely things and some not so lovely things. Nothing from Shein but I will pop the baby in some of the things even though I don’t like it and send a picture to the person who gave it to me! I also wanted to say I really struggled with maternity clothes for work and nursing clothes so I did buy a few bits from Shein. It did smell when it arrived so I washed it all before use and it’s absolutely fine. I didn’t want to spend a fortune on clothes I will only be wearing around the house!
my friend did all her baby shopping on Amazon and its absolutely fine! Don’t be a snob life is too short. You could have donated the bits you didn’t like! Don’t forget to send a thank you card!

You shouldn’t give to receive op

Far out, getting a gift for your third is a kind thing. They have already shelled out twice. They have stopped their lives to congratulate you (for the third time). Why do people keep needing gifts for having more babies? Surely you have enough things.

Unless you know she also dislikes Shein, you don't know that she didn't put effort in!

Your tea, hot chocolate and beauty stuff might have cost more but it's all stuff you can add to a supermarket order so I'm not sure why you're assuming your online order was superior to hers.

My MIL gave me cheap blue baby towels when DD was born... Although on reflection, maybe she had a point with the blue part 😂

☝🏻

Should be grateful for any presents I think!

And throwing something away just because it smelt of plastic is really wasteful, could have washed/aired it out

YANBU. I doubt anything from Shein is even safe for a baby. I’m surprised she didn’t realise that.

I wouldn't buy from Shein because of the ethics but I wouldn't expect everyone to feel the same way, and if they were up to their eyes in either PFB or late pregnancy I'd be grateful to receive anything tbh.

I think your gift sounds unnecessarily flashy. I don't know what soap and glory is, but spending over £100 sounds a bit much.

Yabu and rude imo.

Traditionally, blue is the colour for girls (referring to the blue gown of the Virgin Mary and invoking her protection) and pinky-red is for boys (the colour St Joseph is usually shown wearing and invoking his protection). The pink = girls and blue = boys only appeared after WWII, and may be a United States idea. So blue is entirely appropriate for a DD.

Oh yes... But these were decidedly for a boy baby as were the other items we were given. Our baby wore a great deal of blue actually.

How can towels be for a baby boy? Just curious.

Omg i know how you feel i would never do that i always buy for other people's kids what i make mine wear if I won't let mine wear that i don't buy for anyone else.It means you have a one sided relationship sorry but I have had those and I started mimicking there behaviour back to them.Keep the relationship as they are common friends but give back what you get from them.

Some people don't like soap and glory products they might have thought wtf at your gift.

Maybe they hadn't opened it and realised. I'd be mortified if I was her. She has put effort in. She's gone online. Picked something, ordered and paid for it.

My daughter lives shein. It's hit and miss, sometimes it's good stuff... maybe she's ordered things with no issue before.

New mums it's harder as they've not done it all before and it just makes things extra hard. She still thought of you and tried to do something nice. I think that's the thing you need to take away from this, not well she ordered crap that stinks from shein.

It's the thought that counts most x

A few things:

Not that I'd buy a gift from Shein (or anything) but I do remember my gift choices felt a lot more slapdash when I had a young baby. Far less thought and more just ticking things off the to do list (but still maybe something from somewhere like M&S so decent quality).

Maybe they like Shein stuff and thought was put into it?

Mayve they are regifters and thought it was fine with the third baby. (Not saying I agree.)

Third baby: In my experience, some people, especially if struggling financially atm, start rolling their eyes and going "Oh god, another baby gift?!" by the time the third baby is on the way.

£100 is far too much to spend on a new baby. I didn't spend this on my nieces or nephews even. It feels quite stifling and I'd hate to be on the receiving end tbh as I spend about £20-30 on friends' kids which is perfectly reasonable - regardless of income.

Really shocked you binned baby clothes. I'm sure a baby bank would have given them to a new mum who could have used them.

But you did expect more... £100 is more than some family's weekly shop. Get some focus. Anything gifted is a bonus. I would have washed it and at least taken a photo for the friend. Even if it's never worn again. It's absolutely the gesture not the money.

You sound like a snob to me. Someone made the effort and you threw it in the bin. What were you expecting champagne and roses. You sound extremely entitled. You don't buy gifts expecting to receive. Grow up.

You are not entitled to any gift.

Wow, ungrateful!

When I gave my entitled SiL supermarket clothing she was deeply offended and threw it out without using it. You sound just the same level of snobbiness.

Lesson to be learned, you can’t buy friends with a £100 gift ( that was probably unsuitable). Friends are people whose company you enjoy and who enjoy being with you!