to be disappointed in this newborn present?

[mysticalgardens]

Friends of ours had their 1st baby a couple of months ago around the same time we had our 3rd baby.

Because it was their first child, I put great effort in buying them an amazing gift. I spent well over 100 pounds and put gifts in the box for the baby as well as the new mom and dad (think of nice tea, hot chocolate and soap and glory stuff for her)

I didn't expect them to reciprocate this, I know not everyone has the money available to spend so much time on a gift.

However, when they came over, she gave
me a bag from Shein. When I opened it it had the most disgusting plastic polyester smell. It contained a pink towel and a pink body suit for my baby girl that were made out of really cheap polyester material.

It smelled so bad that I threw it away after they had left.

My sister is due to have her 3rd child at the end of November. She already has a lot, but I bought her some nice socks, body suits and trousers for the baby from Asda (George). The stuff is really lovely and was inexpensive.

So I know that nice baby clothes don't have to cost a lot at all.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed that they made 0 effort when choosing their present?

Awful to throw it away. You could have washed it and given it to your local baby bank.

You’re not being unreasonable at all, the quality of Shein stuff is awful, I wouldn’t buy it for myself much less buy it as a gift someone else. There isn’t any excuse really, supermarket stuff is really reasonable and usually of good quality.

YABU. It's not a zero effort present though. She went online, searched through some outfits, bought an outfit she thought looked nice, waited for it to be delivered and then gave it to you. There's plenty of thought put into that. I've bought baby clothes from Shein in the past and they have been really nice.

I'd have wanted YSL Touche Eclat and a big bottle of gin.

I also don't think supermarket drinks and smellies are a brilliant gift OP. For £100 you could have got some nice Molton Brown not just masses of cheap stuff.

Oh give over OP. You wouldn’t have banged on about how you spent ‘well over a hundred pounds’ if you weren’t bothered by the monetary value. You just wouldn’t have mentioned it at all.

Our reading comprehension is fine thanks. It’s your self-honesty that’s lacking.

How many baby gifts have they given you over the years? If you got one for your first and second, you’re entirely unreasonable.

It's hard to comment without sounding like a massive snob but this happened to us too and it went straight in the bin. I genuinely didn't think it was baby safe. The smell/texture of the material was ghastly and I suspect highly flammable. Not breathable at all. Obviously we thanked them and were grateful they got a gift! The sentiment was there.

I hate Soap and Glory products and think it's over perfumed and chemically. I also found quite a few people bought me clothes I absolutely wouldn't choose for myself. What you're really saying is you have better taste than your friend.
I also hate Shein, but some people order tons from there. They likely panic ordered it online in the middle of the night and forgot to check it because they were busy with their newborn. Really, does it matter?

It is rather sad to pollute more by throwing the stuff away, but I think it is unfair to dress the children from less fortunate families with clothes that may contain harmful chemicals like lead that was found in some children’s jackets.

Just be grateful it didn’t have a scorpion in the bag 🤪
can’t believe no one else said this yet!

😂 Thank you

I agree with you - this is also the reason why I didn't donate it

They may be willing to put it on their baby though - clearly people do or it wouldn't be for sale, so they may have just chosen something they could afford that they thought was pretty. The smell would go after washing. I'm not suggesting you should put your baby in it but I am suggesting you are an ungrateful snob.

I can imagine how well that would have gone down with OP. ‘I spent well over £100 and they just got me some shit from Asda, which they probably just threw in with the weekly shop. After all the thought and care I put into all the ‘glory stuff’ I got for them! How dare they!’

Shein stuff belongs in the bin.

I do also think there’s a social rule that you should reciprocate effort.

I had some ex friends who had their first baby and I bought them a beautiful present that they clearly loved as they posted a lot of photos of it; it was in the background of a lot of pictures of the child in their room, commented on it. They had another child, I didn’t spend as much but also got them something beautiful.

I had my first DD a year or so later and they gave me some toy metal cars from the charity shop, heavily used, old box etc. Not like “vintage”; but old rejected toy cars. These friends weren’t poor, they were cheap.

They had a third baby and I didn’t give them anything, they even made a point to send me their new home address several times after this baby was born.

We’ve drifted apart now, but it just made me think of them as both cheap and grabby at the time.

I do think you need to match tone / thought if not expense.

You're saying there was no effort put into the gifts... I'm sorry but I find that to actually be a really rude assumption. Maybe they browsed and browsed and saw that towel and body suit and thought "awww isn't that sweet, that'll look so cute for Mysticalgardens' baby!"

Lots of people use Shein (clearly, otherwise it wouldn't be doing so well). I don't see why you see it as being any worse than Asda.

The polyester/smell issue... it smacks of snobbery on your part, to be honest. Some people don't have any awareness of quality of materials, either because they've never been able to afford good quality, or it's just not something they've ever given any thought to. It doesn't mean they didn't put any effort into choosing the gift.

if they bought it online, maybe they didn't inspect close up - or they use shein themselves so weren't surprised at the (lack of) quality.
if you didn't want to use it, you could have donated it to a charity shop rather than bin it.

I didn't realise there was any expectation of being given a present (except perhaps from your partner) just because you have had a baby, especially if it is your third baby . Yet another intrusion of consumerism into something more important.
How miserable to be preoccupied with something so pointless when you have just received an actual wonderful baby.

And I bet you weren't still nursing a grudge about it months later, to the extent that you needed to ask a bunch of strangers if your feelings about it were valid.
I don't like Shein. I don't like Soap & Glory either. It doesn't matter. Everyone gets a mis-judged present from a friend at some point in life. OP should just let it go. Value the friendship, not the gift

This is one where if what you're saying is true that it's irrelevant you spending £100 in comparison to their lower spend, then it's the thought that counts. They thought of your child and gave a gift, which missed the mark for you. Lots of people are happy to use Shein products for their babies. They wouldn't have know you don't like it. They bought something with you and your baby in mind even though it wasn't something you like.

I assume since you spent so much time and money on their gift you are close with them, so I'm not sure why you aren't giving them the benefit of the doubt here. It's very unlikely they gave you the gift with malice.

No - you mentioned how much you spent for a reason. And I say that as someone who does not buy anything from Shein. They might not know how unethical Shein is/ thought it was a nice gift/ really liked to outfit??

Smile, accept the gift and then donate to charity if you want. Like many, many people do with unwanted gifts. Starting this thread just makes you sound like an ungrateful snob.

A lot of Shein stuff genuinely isn’t safe

When the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation had 38 pieces of children’s clothing tested from the ultra-fast-fashion brands Zaful, AliExpress, and Shein, it found that one in five had elevated levels of toxic chemicals such as lead, PFAS, and phthalates.